My cousin Danny (who my son is named after) died Friday 5/16 at 8AM. My cousin out in Calif called me with the sad news. I have not seen my cousin in 10 years, as you know caregiving leaves little time for things like that. He lived 3 hours away in Delaware. He will be given full military buriel but since my cousin, his sister out in Calif can't make it out and his wife has 5 sisters out there now I an not comfortable spending 6 hours behind the wheel to go there for the service and come right home. I will miss my big cousin but I know he is with us and just waiting up there with my Doug, my parents,grandparents, aunts and uncle's to meet me when it is my time.

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I think that I just have time to really process it more.

Mar you are so right. Sometimes I have a hard time even here to send out hugs and well wishes to those that lose their own LO's cause I get to cryin myself. I have nothing that keeps my brain occupied (or heart for that matter) that it just comes on like a faucet....its almost as if all those that you lose that we didnt have time to mourn because of our CG duties are all rolled into one.....
Take it easy on yourself sweetie

Mae, As you know I have lost others before. I really think my cousin's passing is getting to me more because I now am NOT a caregiver 24/7. I have lost people my age too so I don't think it's the age thing. I think that I just have time to really process it more. Kind of like when mom died I really felt Doug's passing like it was just yesterday. As caregivers I feel we are in some kind of a different world where everything has to do with taking care of our loved ones. I know you guys can understand.

Mar, I am so sorry.Seems our losses seem to play over and over.

Thanks guys, This is hard. I am glad he got to meet Doug and my son years ago. Today's the funeral at 10 and I'll be working but take the time to say a prayer. I mailed his wife a check on what the gas would have cost me to go down there. I know she'll have a lot of expenses and with my cousin sick for several years it was hard. Couldn't see spending at the minimum $200. in gas. In one of these 5 rubbermaid containers I have a picture of Dan and him and me and him. With the long weekend coming up if I'm up to it I will dig it out and frame it. Well time to pull myself together and get ready for work. Thanks for being there guys.

May his memory live on in your heart.

Mar I am so sorry I missed this posting my deepest condolences to you and your family (((HUGS)))

Thanks Bobcat. I called the funeral director to find out just what is going on and he said my cousin has already been creamated and that the service would be no longer then 20 min. He assured me that my cousin's wife has a big support system and came to him with 3 of her sisters. I decided to send her the gas money I would have spent and not go. Danny has early onset alzheimer's as did his mother, my mom's sister. He had a bad heart and his liver was damaged. He had a stroke in 2001 and when we talked often complained about having no quality of life in his wheelchair. I do know he is in a better place and I'm sure had a knockout, grand reunion with all of his loved ones whereever he is and more important is now out of pain. Thanks for the hug BC I really needed it.

Hugs Mar, I understand why you aren't confident about making the trip alone. Still I understand why you would want to honor his passing with your presence. I hope it is some comfort to you to know he is in a better place. If his wife has 5 sisters close by, that is good..