for mom to be leaving to heaven.
i am so sorry for not being here so much everyone...
but its not cause i dont want to be,
i would be here much more if possible.
mom has fallen over and over since the last time i was here and yet miraculously hasnt broken anything.
now tho, she is hardly eating and cant walk much.
she wont go to e.r. for anything.
i dont think she is getting enough oxygen either
but the dr set it on a certain number and she wont let me change it to higher.
she gets mad when i bring up going to dr or hospital.
her feet now are black and blue and cold from diabetes?-i think.
and she is skin and bones.
martin lifted her up back on bed tonight when she fell,
but she topples over on the bed
and lays uncomfortably and wont let me help make her comfortable.
she also is having sentences scrambled to where i dont know what shes saying alot
or it is so low that we cant understand her.
i sleep on the couch at night fully dressed waiting to call a ambulance
but deep down i really think
it would be too late when they got here...
man this is so stinking hard.
death is ugly i think,
and i dread the grieving so much.
i have been with mom since dad passed in 85 and caring for her
and then when she lost her place in katrina
it was like that was when the end really started.
these last 8 months tho have been steadily getting to be a nightmare.
i am trying to remember her as she used to be and not like this.
it breaks my heart.
i feel for all of you going thru this.
i wish i was a better helper to each of you. lord willing ill try and be here more .
i do hold you up each in prayer .

Edwina, I second Moms Buddy's suggestions to you. She is right, increasing the oxygen could make the problem worse. My heart breaks for you. It is very hard to watch someone you love so much get so very sick. Before my Mother-in-Law died, it was hard for us to accept that the end was near. But, when she died, God gave us much peace with it. He reminded me that even though I would miss her very much, she was pain free, happy and whole and with him. We will see her again. My prayers are with you and your family.

edwina, dear girl, you don't have to feel bad for not being here for us. this is our time to be here for you. please accept our help whenever you need us. you and your family are in my prayers. my heart breaks for you and for all members who find themselves facing this time in the lives of our loved ones. keep in mind that God has preserved our good memories deep in our hearts and they will be there to draw strength from in the days to come. those memories are safe and will be there waiting for you to revisit. a big hug to you. please let us be there for you.

Edwina, you have been through such a rough time with her, and you have been such a trooper trying to make a home for her. Everything you have shared about her has shown us how heart broken and defeated she has been since losing her home to that dreadful storm.

Somehow I am not surprised by her refusal for treatment, but it must be so hard to helplessly watch her, and to feel so alone. I do hope Home Health can be arranged for her. She may not want it, but she needs so much more than you can do for her now.

You have helped us and you help us now by sharing what you have been up against. Hugs to you, honey, you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Edwina. My thoughts and prayers are with you. This is a hard time for you. Get all the support you can. Hospice was wonderful with me and my mom and told it like it is and just what to expect. It made it a bit easier having the knowledge. Come here as often as you can/want. We are here for you and understand what you are going through to some extent as everyone is different.

edwina, dear. this is notthe time to worry about being here more for us. this is a time to let your friends here help you. we are here for each other and the roles change, so lean on your friends. you are facing a terrible nightmare and there is no easy way to prepare for this. i know you are trying to keep the good times in your heart and it is hard when you see her like this. but i assure you, they will all be there for you in the future. god will put them in a safe place in your heart when you need them. we love you and our hearts are with you. god be with you.

Edwina, if you don't have it already, ask the doctor to order Home Health visits to help you keep an eye on those feet and other problems your mom is having. They are my angels!!

Do not increase your Mom's Oxygen without the doctor's knowledge. Giving too much or more than is needed can actually make the problem worse!!

Bless your entire heart! I am so sorry things are going so roughly for you and your mom... PLEASE discuss home health or even hospice care for your mom with her doctor - they can offer you so much help, information and comfort when you need it most! Keep us updated when you can... We're here if you need...