what a nightmare this last 48 hours have been. after so much agony, mom pased away here at home.
the hospital wouldnt keep her longer since according to medicare she wasnt sick- just dying.
i was never told about hospice untill the last few hours prior to her death- when they came and gave her 2 drops of morphene.
they left and after that i stayed with her as she struggled to breath and finally passed away about 3 hours later with me holding her hand.
and this is just the fast, ''un-ugly part of the story.
as i cannot bring myself to delve into the horrific of it more.
thank you all for your help in all my questions that i have has since i came here. you have helped me so much. God bless you all.
monday will be the burial next to dad. my sister is here and wants no part of going thru her things or even helping me. it looks like they have basically come in for the estate money- and will then leave.
i try to tell myself that its cause she is just sensitive and cant bear it but deep down i cant help but think other wise.
it is so heartbreaking.
if it wasnt for the Lord id probably die also with sorrow.

Edwina, God Bless you and your family.

I do understand the horrific events at the end, so horrific to be sure that we can't even mention them. So many of us here have been through the same!

I have been away from the boards for a while, and wish I had been here to read your story and support you!

Don't give up on sis, we all grieve differently, she may have outside forces putting pressure on her. She is your Sis and will always be, in time she will come around, just let her know you love her!!!

Take care honey, thinking of you as you lay your Mom to rest!

Edwina,
You have been such a blessing to so many of us - more than you will ever know. My heart breaks with you for the loss of your mother.
I've been lurking in the shadows, reading of your journey with your mother. Much of what you wrote touched me deeply - we seem to have a few things in common...
We are fortunate that you'll stay on the forum and share your experiences with past, present and future 'members'.
Keep strong in your faith. He never leaves our side.
Perhaps what was written on my own mother's funeral 'pamphlet' will help ease your hurt...
Your dear mother is now:
"Free of mortality. Home at last!"
Losing a loved one is so very bittersweet, isn't it?
-Lois

Thank you bc and thank YOU edwina. I also am so glad you are going to stay on here with us. You are a very special person in a very special place and it makes me feel good that you will be here to help me and others face the ever changing life of a caregiver. You will always be an angel.

bob, thanks s for sharing edwinas pm with us. that was special. edwina, you are going to be a very valuable member here. so many have and will still face what you are going through and nothing is more valuable to share than experience. i'm happy that you have already been able to see some of the good things.they will continue to flow into that empty spot and you will begin to smile. yes, emotions run high and we ARE only human. leave your irritations from the past at the door. they are too heavy to carry and only cloud the truth. life happens. let the good times come through. thanks for sticking with us. we all care for you.we treasure all our battle weary warriors and are here for you anytime.

It's the Circle of Love in action!

Every one, Edwina, posted this to me PM, but I felt she meant it for all of us and asked her if I could share it. With her permission,,,

quote:

edwina Posted September 30, 2007 01:23 AM Hide Post
YOU KNOW ITS FUNNY-
ALL THOSE AGRIVATED FEELINGS I HAD WHEN SHE WAS HERE AT HER ARE ALL GONE. I FIND I REMEMBER THE GOOD THINGS MOSTLY AND I SEE THAT WHAT I WENT THRU WAS HUMAN EMOTIONS THAT WE ALL GO THRU AND MOM UNDERSTANDS THAT I AM SURE.
AS HAS FOR NOT BEING HERE WITH YOU ALL??
HA!
I CANT LEAVE .
I FEEL LIKE YOU ALL ARE PART OF ME NOW.
I LOVE YOU ALL AND IF GOD CAN USE ME HERE SOME WAY ID BE GRATEFUL.
CAUSE YOU ALL SURE HELPED ME THRU A MOST HORRIBLE TIME OF MY LIFE....
Location: south mississippi | Registered: September 13, 2006

We love you, too, Baby, take very good extra special care of your self. You are an extra special part of us.

You are so right about your sister edwina. She just needs some time and space to grieve. She will be back and I have no doubt you two will be very close from now on. You will always be so glad that you kept so many of your moms things for your sister and her children. I am very proud of you for the way you are handeling all of this. You and your mom were lucky to have whatever time you had together and you are a wonderful person for making her last days as good as possiable. That makes you a true angel. Please take good care of yourself edwina. mums

THANK YOU ALL so much and even that doesnt say HOw much i truly thank you for being here for me.
things are winding down and now it is everyday stuff to clean up and things to sort thru. sister didnt really take much with her at all and that kind of hurt but like you say,
i think it is also her way of grieving.
i want to stay close to my sister and dont want anything to come between us
so i try and not say anything.
i will put things away till more time as passed and she ,i am sure will ask for ''so and so 'down the line...
.i have no children and she does-
so it seems like she'd want stuff for their mementos also..
but ill still be here.
after this horible nightmare i feel like i can face about anything and survive-
tho i pray i wont ever-ever have to undergo another trial as this-ever.

Edwina, I am so sorry for your loss, but I rejoice in your mother's freedom! Please know that we are STILL here for you - eldercare support doesn't just end with the death of our loved ones - it extends to US as caregivers and survivors, not only in coping with the issues of eldercare, but also with how to get back on track after they pass.

I hope that these past several days since your mother's passing have gone as smoothly for you as possible under the circumstances and that you are finding comfort and support during this time of grief. Know that my thoughts and prayers are with you. {{{{{GIANT HUGS}}}}}

Edwina, my thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time. God bless you for looking after your Mom. I hope you family can come together to support each other in the future. Gypsy

Edwina, my prayers are with you. God bless you for the perseverance and neverending kindness you showed your mother.

Edwina, my soul hurts for you.
It is not your faith in the Lord that will see you through this difficult time, but it is the Lord's faith in you that will help you along.
PLease don't forget we're here.
Especially today, you are in my prayers.

Edwina, I'm so sorry for your loss. Your mom is free from this cursed disease but you are the one left to carry on and miss her. Don't worry about your sister helping. She has to grieve her own way and you now have to take care of yourself and not spend any extra energy on blame. I do know it's hard but can tell you from being there. Know you are in my thoughts and prayers. If I could I would be there to give you a big hug and help you clean up. The next few days are going to be filled with different emotions and you have to remember to be good to yourself and take care of you.

(((Edwina))) I am so sorry for your loss please know you are always in my thoughts.
And sweetie dont read too much into your siblings thoughts remember baby they are in mourning also, each person deals with the death of their LO's in different ways, I know what you are feeling and so do many others sometimes we are right but Im hoping for your sake this is their way of coping...
Please know anytime you need, we are always here for you, our doors never close....

Hold on to your faith edwina. I am so sorry for your loss. May God bless you and your family.

edwina, Your Mom had a rough row, and you howed it with her. Some of our loved ones hide their pain as best they can until the very last moment. I thought my own Dad was a champ at this, because he kept hospice away until 10 days before his death. Your Mom couldn't live on her own terms, but she did die that way.

Honey, I wish I was there with you.



I just can't help but remember with all you have told us, your Mom wanted out of this world. I wish you comfort in her passing.

Perhaps if there are any photos left, anythig, I know there are probably few possessions of that sort of nature. If you can grab your sister . Never mind. You will work it out. .

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Bobcat,

edwina, god bless you and carry you in these hard days to come. you know she is at peace but those left behind suffer so. i'm sorry. this is one of those times when there is no peace in silence. my prayers for peace are with you. there will always be the place in your heart that is your mom. you will now carry her inside you. you will remember the good times. that is god's gift to you. your memories. treasure them and know she is in god's home now and is finally at peace. i know these words are shallow when your heart is breaking but peace will come. god bless you