Hi everyone, Sorry I havent been online much lately and again Im sorry if this isnt where Im suppose to post. I once again just want to say hey and to thank you all for your prayers and support throughout everything that has happened over the past few months. I wish I had found ya'll sooner. I never thought that I would lose mommie this fast but she was sick for a long time but still i wasnt ready for her to go even though knowing she is in Heaven now, i miss her so much. After she passed I had to put my dad in the hospital for almost 2 weeks and to make things worse my siblings decided to clean out their house while I was at hospital with him. This was a constant battle and I almost had them threw off the premisis for trespassing but I didnt Mommie had already given me everything she wanted me to have but I kept up with what they were doing and only let them take what my dad wanted them too but I learnt alot about my so called family. And again like usual they all took off and are at their homes living life as usual leaving my dad and me to try and pick up the pieces and go on. Its so hard for me tho, I am trying to keep up appearences of being strong and supportive to my dad and my husband and kids but I feel like Im walking a fine line and just barely hanging in there, have ya'll ever felt like this. I am not one to ask for help cause I always try to handle things myself but now I dont know anymore, you know? I still cant eat and not sleeping like I should and that feeling of being kicked in the chest is still there, i dont care about working anymore and if it wasnt for my daughter working with me a covering in our business it would probably already closed up. Im having to deal with all the insurance and a ton of paperwork that I guess follows after a death but I guess its all just getting to me a little so please keep me and my dad in your prayers. He seems to be doing ok physically but I can tell he is so sad and lonesome but I just wanted to let you guys know whats going on and that I havent dropped off the face of the earth yet and most importantly I wanted to thank you all for your prayers and support.

Hang in there Nikki, We will do all we can to catch you.

NIKKI 2007, It sounds like you have not had the change to really mourn the passing of mom.
You jumped into looking after dad and having to deal with family stress.
Your symptoms suggest depression brought on by all this.
I say this because I had the same circumstances after mother passed.I had to rush from her grave and continue taking care of my aunt and hubby.But I was different.Nothing could light my fire.A void was so present with me.It took everything I had to put effort into any thing.
Then the day my aunt died I went crazy.I was morning my aunt and my mother.It was like over kill within me.All the tears and feelings I held in came to the surface and it was not easy.
I , like most was never prepared.I know we know the end will come, we say the words but having it happen is like being punched in the stomach.
We always need one more day, one more day.
Sadly there is no another days and we are left to deal with our emotions.
Find away to share what you are feeling with someone who can give you that warm hug.Who acknowledges your pain.Release all the feelings of sorrow before they become over powering.
It is ok to cry if the need presents itself

Nikki, For the moment, at least, we are here for you. You must breathe, sweetie. You can't change your relatives.

I am so sorry for your loss, and for the extra hard time you are having because you and your Father seem so alone right now. Hugs to you.

I can only hope they come to their senses before they end up alone forever.

{{{{{HUGS}}}}} Tough times, huh Nikki? Glad you stopped in 'cause you know we're here for ya 'til the cows come home! I hope things will settle down a little for you and your dad so that y'all can catch up with yourselves and the changes these last months have brought to your lives... Hang in there, darlin'!!!