My mother age 75 is mentally declining quickly. I have been caring for her for almost 5 yrs. She lives alone however I am down there constantly. I have reached a point, knowing I can't do this alone anymore. I inquired about adult day care, so I can go back to work but my mother doesn't like it and I can't see paying for days she refuses to go. I looked into nursing homes however again she in not at that point where she needs skilled nursing. Next option was assisted living. I found a lovely secured facility but that was too expensive. There are other assisted living facilitis but they are not secured. My gut feeling is if she was placed in an assisted living she would wander off wanting to go home. She has not wandered off as of yet, but in an unfamiliar setting who is to say she won't. THey are not watched 24 hrs a day but have nurses on duty. What I am trying to ask if, it other people who have family members living in assisted facilities with memory problems, do you feel comfortable with them there? Moving into my house is not an option, house too small and my family moving into her house won't happen. I want whats best for her but it seems my options are limited. Any suggestions

I know you said you've already checked into a few AL facilities -- are there any in your area that primarily deal with dementia?

I'd seriously give the adult day care another shot. In my mom's case, Medicare picks up the bulk of the cost; she only has to pay a nominal monthly fee that's under $10. It took me awhile to convince her to try it (I went with her the first couple of days there). Once she got into "the groove", she loved it.

Have you contacted your local council on aging? They might have some ideas.

Hello, and welcome to the forum!

Any chance you could hire someone to watch after your mom?