Has anybody ever heard of Montessori care for dementia patients? My Mom is currently in assisted living (which is a nice place with kind people) but her depression is worsening and she complains of being 'lonely, 'bored' and 'useless'. Mostly she just sits in front of her tv because most of the activities they have, she cannot do. Recently a new place opened in our town that I plan to tour later this week that offers theraputic Montessori care. It sounds good...aims at maintaining abilities as long as possible with 'failure free' activities and exercises. Has anyone ever heard of this kind of care? Any pros and cons? The web site for this new place is www.lifeatmapleview.com and they even say they take Medicaid!

Ditto to what MB said Hannah report this to the proper channels, State and SPCA...
Im sure if the owner/trainer or SPCA knew how this dog was getting treated they would take it out of there toot sweet! That really makes me mad
I am sorry it didnt work out for you Hannah

MB,
I don't think it was a trained "therapy dog" just a small stray or something. I am very very against misusing and abusing an animal in this way too. I did call the Humane Society here. I think therapy animals are a fantastic thing and misusing them is just damaging to everyone involved; the animals, the elderly people, the staff, the program as a whole...

My SIL is reporting what we saw re the other stuff. She works in a NH so she knows who to talk to.

OOOOOH, now that gripes me!!! The Montessori methods are well-respected. Their good name does not deserve to be associated with a place that allows misuse of animals!

quote:

There was a small dog there that they told us had no dog food or water bowl because the residents fed it from their plates! They said the dog was so wonderful and patient and never minded residents pulling it's tail or kicking it!

I trained therapy dogs for nursing homes in the 80s and this kind of cavalier approach to both the Montessori method AND therapy dogs is a total insult to those who work very hard to develop and utilize tools and techniques like this professionally.

Now, the diaper in the drawer, I understand. Demented people DO stuff like that (and much, much worse). The reaction of the aide may have been inappropriate, depending on whether the aide was really "carrying on" or simply let her steam slip out during a moment when she thought she was alone... So long as her irritation was private and not within sight or earshot of a patient, perhaps one could forgive her irritation... Dirty diapers in strange locations never improved my disposition on any given day and challenged my acting talent when caring for the (alleged) DIAPER HIDER... Aide Elves don't always whistle while they work...

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE report what you witnessed:
To the Montessori people who give the training, to the state which grants the license to the facility and to the SPCA for mistreatment of a working dog.

Jeeze. What a disappointment.
Better luck at the next place, Hannah.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Moms_Buddy,

Hi Hannah, I'm dissapointed for you and all who had hopes for a better place. Not too surprised, however, always a bit cautious when a well known name is thrown around. always thinking it's a marketing device. Keep after the place she's in, if you can get some results there, she won't have a major change in her environment. That sort of change would have other drawbacks that might not balence out anyway. Best of luck. Bobcat

So I visited the Montessori place and no, not a good spot for my Mom. It wasn't so clean, crowded and noisy...just didn't get a good vibe at all . As we were walking down a hall with the director I saw an aid cleaning a room and she pulled a soiled Depends out of a drawer and angrily threw it across the floor . There was a small dog there that they told us had no dog food or water bowl because the residents fed it from their plates! They said the dog was so wonderful and patient and never minded residents pulling it's tail or kicking it! How bizarre is that! Then I visited the nursing home and I think that it was not right for Mom either. She is somewhere in between AL and NH I think. So my SIL and I decided we'd meet again with the AL staff and see what more we could squeeze out of their program. Possibly we can get the neurologist to write an order for some OT and try that again... We are going to have to just take it a day at a time.

So, onward. (sigh)

I truely am interested in the Montessori care, I also got sidetracked. Please let us know what th interview turns up.

quote:

Originally posted by Bobcat:
Hannah, our situations are so different at this time, yet some themes just keep coming up. The glasses, Mom has macular degeneration, and a small cateract, but they say there is nothing they can do to improve her vision with glasses, and everything else seems to be stable.( or in other words, not helpable). And she doesn't really seem to benefit from trips to the eye guy, they are always extremely late meeting the schedule, and then there is the dilation time and everything else. You just can't keep a severely arthritic ancient in a waiting room and then in an exam chair etc. ad nauseum. I only take her if there is something extreme she complains about. It has actually been 3 years, and I'ld love to keep her up to date with this, but she hates to go and the effort hasn't done her any good. I made them give me the latest eyeglass script and when the glasses get too scratched, I get her new lenses to pop in. Bles your heart for all you try to do. Please be there to urge me on when it gets truely hard.

My Mom at the eye Dr...
Dr- "Is your vision worse than it used to be?"
Mom - "Yes."...."No."
Me - "She says it is worse"
Dr - "Do you use eye drops in your eyes?"
Mom -"Everyday I have to."
Me -"She doesn't have any eyedrops."
Mom -"No, I don't have any eyedrops."

Etc..Etc...

Like my family motto "laugh or cry"

Hannah, our situations are so different at this time, yet some themes just keep coming up. The glasses, Mom has macular degeneration, and a small cateract, but they say there is nothing they can do to improve her vision with glasses, and everything else seems to be stable.( or in other words, not helpable). And she doesn't really seem to benefit from trips to the eye guy, they are always extremely late meeting the schedule, and then there is the dilation time and everything else. You just can't keep a severely arthritic ancient in a waiting room and then in an exam chair etc. ad nauseum. I only take her if there is something extreme she complains about. It has actually been 3 years, and I'ld love to keep her up to date with this, but she hates to go and the effort hasn't done her any good. I made them give me the latest eyeglass script and when the glasses get too scratched, I get her new lenses to pop in. Bles your heart for all you try to do. Please be there to urge me on when it gets truely hard.

quote:

Originally posted by Moms_Buddy:
Hannah, I was afraid that the ALF wouldn't be appropriate for your mom for very long... I think you are wise to check out new possibilities and look into a nursing home. I think she is at the point where she does need full-time supervision and assistance available to her. So sorry you missed the cookies and concert - it's hard to wear ALL the hats at the same time... Good luck with your search.

I know. It was nice while it lasted (a year and a half) and I was hoping for longer, but....also not surprised that we are where we are. If we move her to the big bad 'nursing home' she will be terribly upset about that because we called the AL "an apartment" and got away with it because it looks like a studio apt. So I am dreading the move. But I won't move her to the montessori place if it just is a temporary fix that seems like it will end in the nursing home in less than a year anyway. The move itself will be the hardest part on her.

"it's so hard to tell her no"

And along these same lines it is so 'odd' to talk to your parent like they are the child. Which in reality they are at this point. So when Mom cuts her clothes up my brother and SIL say, "Should we say something? Should we pretend it didn't happen?" And I am more likely to say, "Mom, please stop cutting your clothes." It's hard, but I feel like we have to set limits where we can even if she can't always remember them and follow them perfectly. It seems like if we say it in a simple, matter of fact way, she doesn't get upset.

Recently I took her for an eye exam and the Dr said her presciption was fine. Well of course she forgets that we have gone to the eye Dr and will say, "When is somebody going to take me to the eye doctor? I need new glasses!" My brother and SIL want me (not them, me) to play this elaborate charade of taking her glasses away for an hour and then returning them and saying, "Here's your new glasses!" I think it is more appropriate to just say, "We went to the Dr and he said your glasses are fine." Then she says "OK.". I get annoyed when they expect me to play these games because frankly I don't have the time or the energy to do this. They also want me to run her to the Dr everytime she asks rather than say, "No. You just went to the Dr and you don't need to go again yet."

OOPS, kind of got off topic here.... Sorry. I will let all know about the Montessori program.

Hannah, I was afraid that the ALF wouldn't be appropriate for your mom for very long... I think you are wise to check out new possibilities and look into a nursing home. I think she is at the point where she does need full-time supervision and assistance available to her. So sorry you missed the cookies and concert - it's hard to wear ALL the hats at the same time... Good luck with your search.

Oh Hannah, The interruptions, that come up are hard. You can't help but feel quilt and resentment for the things that must be done. You clearly can not desert your girls very often, and you cannot ignore your Mom. It sounds also like she can no longer understand why it's not your job to take care of these things, or just unable to control the impulse that she needs YOU, right now, not wait for tomorrow.
Hopefully, you can find some ease of mind knowing that you are setting a good example for the kids about duty and loyalty. It must have hurt like H**l to miss that concert, even if your girl did understand. My Mom is starting to pressure me to visit her between my duty days and I'm trying to be firm, and she has good care, but even at this stage, it's so hard to tell her no.

Thanks for the links MB and the ideas for questions Embersmom . I have a tour scheduled for Thursday at 1. I will definitly let you all know what I find. It is either this or full nursing home for my Mom now because the AL place (while nice and full of good people) isn't meeting her needs anymore. Specifically, she just spends too much time alone just sitting. The 'panic and crying' phone calls are getting more and more recent and are usually in the end all about some attention and relief of boredom.

Last night I missed baking cookies with my kids and my girls flute concert due to a crying panic call that really was just a need for attention. She had clothes all over the room - in bags, boxes, baskets...I think she just got overwhelmed. The AL place brings her clean laundry to the door and hands it to her. I don't think she can put it away by herself anymore. So my SIL and I took all distractions out of the drawers (sachets, unneccesary clothing like shawls...). We took away all boxes and baskets and bags (her room gets emptier and emptier) and put a label sticker on each drawer "bras"..."shirts"...

Today I will call the director and tell her not to give Mom plastic bags anymore - they are now on the no-no list with scissors and markers. I will also tell them to put her clothes away for her rather than hand them to her.

I can't keep doing this. Planning and carrying out a visit is one thing but having to leave my kids to run to the AL place at 8 pm is just not fair to my girls. So I will let you know after Thursday what I find.

Hannah Ive heard of this once before but like Em I also wonder and would have to ask those same questions she is asking...What I have heard though does sound promising for some....Nothing wrong with the old college try I say! Give it a shot what do you have to lose?
Please do keep us posted on what you find out

Well now, Hannah, isn't that interesting? I had never heard of it until you posted... Makes ALL kinds of sense to me...
Just goes to show, there are much better ways of coping with dementia and helping those suffering from it than most folks are aware... THANKS HANNAH!
Here's more links if folks are interested...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Montessori-Based_Dementia_Programming
http://www.myersresearch.org/home.html
http://www.asaging.org/asav2/awards/han_2004.cfm?submenu1=han
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/entrez/query.fcgi?cmd=Retri...750318&dopt=Abstract
http://www.springerpub.com/prod.aspx?prod_id=38454
http://www.apa.org/monitor/nov06/home.html

I've never heard of Montessori-based dementia care before, but after looking through the link, it makes a lot of sense.

My only thought is how they would handle people at different stages...I know regular Montessori education is individual-based, noncompetitive, and one skill builds onto the next, but how would that translate for someone who, let's say, is in early stage vs. someone more advanced? What if a LO could no longer, say, hold a utensil? How do they fit in more personal ADLs like going to the bathroom? I know these would be among my first questions if I were going there for a tour.

I'd love to find out more about it. It's intriguing, to say the least.