From what I understand, this is a common occurrence when you place a LO who's still "with it" in some respects. I honestly don't know if Mom realizes she's in a NH, nor have I asked her. The official "story" is that she's there for PT because her wobbling became too dangerous, especially in the house. The nurses and aides support the story -- it isn't the first time they've had to not tell the whole truth about why Mom's there.

She's adapted quite well, though. She is one of 3 people on the wing who can still speak and comprehend well for the stage she's in. She's also the only continent person there (you really don't want to hear the story about when hubby found out she was wearing Depends...) An aide accompanies her to every single activity they have on the non-ALZ floor. When there's an activity up on the ALZ wing, the activity director lets Mom assist her. She's taken a few nonverbal cohorts under her wing as sort of a "protection" -- she speaks to them, and they somehow understand that she won't hurt them nor will she leave them. It's quite a sight watching Mom wobble here and there with them in tow!

Anyway, despite all this, Mom starts crying whenever hubby and and I, or either one of us, comes to visit. It's like a switch goes on whenever she sees us, in that she'll be happy and whatnot while we're not there (according to the nurses), but the minute she sees us -- BOOM, the tears flow, and she keeps asking when she'll be going home. Last night our visit consisted entirely of this. Nothing hubby nor I did -- change the subject, whatever -- would sway her. We both left rather rattled.

We've taken her out for ice-cream or for a drive on occasion. She says nothing about wanting to go home during these times. But as soon as we return and get her settled -- BOOM!

I know it's a huge adjustment on both her and our parts. I'm hoping that it's a stage, and at some point she'll stop asking. In the meantime, though...aaaack...

EM, I guess that's why one goes through such soul-searching and care when placing our parents - many times, they would rather stay with us. It sounds like she IS adjusting (good for hubby for the Depends thing!), so give it a bit. It takes time...

My heart aches for all of you, but I hope that time will heal this quickly!

Em didya ever babysit another persons child?
Bless moms heart shes a winner here taking others under her wing... Warms my heart to hear that
When mom and I used to babysit (nothin like a screeching baby to rock that proverbial boat with a parent ) but this is what they do, they love their family and they cry and moan and carry on for a minute or 3 after mom or dad leaves and as quick, they stop when something captures their attention in your moms case her 2 new friends or whatever switches gears for her.
What you are feeling is no different than what a parent feels when leaving a sorrow filled child in the care of someone else. Guilt frustration sadness the whole kitten kaboodle. Just know the minute you are out of sight it doesnt last that long there is no reason to feel guilty if you believe she is being well cared for by your standards....She is isnt she? Do you have any doubts Em?
Just redirect and do what you would normally do when you visit mom to make the most of each and every visit sweetie. We all know you've been a stupendous CG to mom Hunny too...Guilt? Throw it out the window sweetie let it go