Hi All,

I talked with lawyer and have put all Mom's assets in living trust. I also contacted insurance company (Dad had taken out policies on us 4 girls years ago) and am having last names changed to married names and change addresses and beneficiaries. These were all going to Mom and she didn't want that and wanted us to be in charge of them. WELL, I contacted siblings and informed them as to what I was doing AND comments flew such as "very sarcastically" we know you do everything etc.
It really hurt because all I wanted to do was keep them informed as to what I was doing.
If I had any idea that there would be so much gossip/bitterness/nasty remarks etc. I never would have agreed to being executor. I feel as though my siblings are all against me. I suppose from now on I will just do and not let them know what is going on.
Kimicoco

I learned a while back its no ones business what goes on in regards to a Will/Living trust issues when you are Executor/Executrix if anything needs to be handled it is after the passing of your LO not before and the lawyer thats handling it does the contacting of the interested parties. In fact they will get a detailed accounting in the mail when the time comes even if they do not receive anything from the estate.
You dont need to update them on anything sweetie.
All you do is keep financial records, banking statements, bill receipts canceled checks (make sure you keep good records, use checks whenever you can for a paper trail/proof) and communicate with the lawyer if need be.
At the end you will have to share these records with the court appointed accountants.
Side note, if the siblings become too much have the lawyer communicate with them and I agree with Dochka there, answering machines and caller ID are VERY good things to have

It's a mistake to seek validation from sources where there is competition or conflict. Although it's great to hear the words, "thank you," expecting to hear them often leads to disappointment. YOU know you did a good job in sorting out and clarifying things. That's why you were appointed by your mom. Trust in her faith in you.

PSS I also learned after awhile that I didn't have to report EVERYTHING to them. Too aggravating!

Send them a letter next time!
Then you won't have to hear about it unless they call you!
P.S. Caller ID and a Message machine were GREAT inventions in my opinion.