Hi Everyone, I deleated everything because it made it all too real at that moment. That makes no sense to me either. I can barely type so bear with me. My husband passed away yesterday in his sleep. No fuss, no muss, just slipped away. Now I think I am dying. I know I am. The pain is horriable. I can't seem to stay away from my computer. IH keeps telling me to take a break but I'm afraid of what might happen if I do. It will make it real. He insists on taking me to the beach later. I'm afraid to leave the house. I'm lost. I'm sick. I haven't cried yet and I know I will but I don't want to. I can feel it right here. Maybe I shouldn't have deleated my posts. I was mad at myself for writing them. They suddenly looked wrong. I'm sorry to those they may have been helping.I don't think I can stay away. I need you great people. Are you really real? Or is this part of the process?

Sprig, baby, I have grown to love you in a very short period of time. Please believe you are lovable, Ralph loved you (his opinion counts. BIG TIME),and so do I, and many others. You are a "keeper". and a fighter. Get your rest and have your cry and please, PLEASE, hang in there.

It is understandable what you are feeling now. I lost my father a year ago and I am depressed right now too BUT because I cannot pay off my bills and need to find a real paying job.

What you need is a vacation. You have to think what your husband would have wanted for you. I know he loved you and would never want you to suffer because he is no longer in your life. What is occuring is your feelings is starting to come out. It is a time to cry and express your feelings.

I, too, lost my dear husband. We were childhood sweethearts, married 53 years. I can tell you that we all get thru this, and you may think that you don't want to hear that, you just want things to be as they were. But this is everyone's life. That is why we extend our hand to you to hold on to, we understand all too well your anguish. And now I give you permission to cry, it is nature's way and you will feel better. Take care of yourself now.

Oh Sprig, I am so sorry. That last breath comes way too soon, whether or not it's expected.
I haven't cried yet either, and my husband has been physically gone since 5/1. Maybe that's why - I'd already done a lot of grieving over losing my husband, so losing his physical body so quickly was more of a hit on the head with a 2x4. The personality and mental changes that belonged to the dementia were the real heartbreak, and I lived with that for nearly 10 years. YES I MISS HIM, and yes, his shirts are still hanging in the closet. But I still have most of the same responsibilities I always had, and find ways to get it all accomplished.
Eventually. He was my life and my sunshine, but thank God he was 24 years older, because he helped me grow up.
You are the important one now. Take care of yourself. Sorting out will wait. Think of all the things that waited to be done while you attended to your husband. Make them wait until you've attended to yourself. This is YOUR time.
Is it really warm enough in Maine to enjoy the beach?
Just one suggestion - when you think you are finally ready to express your grief through crying, and you don't think you'll stop once you start, equip yourself with a big ol' bath towel or 2. You can stuff it in your mouth and scream your head off (less disturbing to anyone else who might be with you!) and it's a lot better than 3 boxes of snotty tissues scattered all over the floor.
We are all here for you. Rage all you want; we'll listen, and trust that some day you will be there for us.
Rest - your angel will watch things for a while.

sprig, sorry for your loss. it happened too suddenly.it doesn't seem like it now but life does go on keep a friend close by and remember to take care of yourself. one foot in front of the other and keep going. the beach can be very theraputic so if offered, try to make yourself go. crying does help and yes, even if you're afraid you may never stop crying when you sttart, you will. and a really good cry can be the best sleeping pill in the world. eat, drink and take your meds on a regular schedule. you don't need problems from that on top of everything else. i'm so sorry.

(((Sprigof))) hugs and prayers coming your way. I am so sorry about the passing of your husband. Yes we are real people dealing with real situations. I am so glad you came back to us I was worried that something like this had happened when I read your last post last night. I haven't yet experienced that final loss but know that I will be totally lost. Please remember as hard as things are that you need to look after yourself-eat, TAKE YOUR MEDS, try to sleep. Please come back and share with us there are people around here most of the time. Wish I could say or do more. I am so sorry. Gypsy
Just reread your post-letting yourself cry might be good therapy. Don't try to hold it all in. G

Sprig, I am so sorry to hear of your H's passing.

I don't know how you feel, but I sure wish I could help you!

Here's a big HUG!!!!!!!!!

Take care honey, you are in my prayers!

Sprig, so sorry to hear about your husband. I can't image what that must be like. Please take care of yourself. You are a strong woman and I know you will find the strength to go on... I will keep you in my prayers. You are a survivor!!

Sprig So sorry to hear about your husband's passing. This is a hard time but try to be gentle with yourself and take care. I know how hard it is to sleep but you need sleep to help your body handle the days ahead. you are in my prayers.

Sprig I am so sorry to hear of your husbands passing You will be in my thoughts

Hi Sprigof

I am truly sorry for your loss. I understand the feeling that it should've been more. I felt like where is all the drama everyone yelling not just a breath and gone. It is scary and perhaps anger also. Stick with the chat it has helped me.

So sorry for your loss, Sprig. We all know it's coming, but none of us are ready when it happens. Please be good to yourself and take extra good cae of you now. This is a big one and you will need all the help you can get to make it through.
This IS real and whether you want it or not, here it is. Try to take it easy on yourself, dear.

Part of eldercare is what happens afterwards and we hope that caregivers will remain as long as they need to - and beyond - to restore their lives and to help others who are walking the path they have already walked.

Be sure to take all your meds on schedule and force yourself to eat and rest. Take it one thing at a time. I'm sure there are support groups nearby where you are - please know that having someone locally can be a godsend! Seek out a bereavement group - it's amazing how much good they can do for us when we are hurting.

Thank you Sprig for coming in today. I am so very sorry for what you are going through. Take your time, Honey, This is a really bad blow for you. It's good that IH is with you. We are as real as we can be, and will listen anytime.