While with Mom last night she said she wanted a DNR. These are her wishes no matter how hard it is on me and I want to be able to let her have her wish. I tried talking to her about it and there is no changing her mind. She feels due to her quality of life this is what she wants.

Problem is my sister is DPOA and refuses to let her have the DNR. Is there anything I can do to let Mom have her wish?

MB,
I'm kinda likin' that tatoo idea!
Clever mom!

quote:

Originally posted by T.O.R.P.:
Now, that's not the way it was explained to us at all. Life saving treatments are the domain of the DPOA and possibly the living will, but DNR relates strictly to resuscitation if she should arrest. Looking over our copy of our LO's DNR orders, that's the way I understand it as well. Basically, it means, "Don't do CPR on me. If I die, don't bring me back."

The living will is the document to have relating to feeding tubes and so forth, and even this is subject to approval of the DPOA.

I was thinking ahead of myself a little... If Mom wants a DNR, does she know exactly what that is? AND, maybe since she's on the general subject, make sure that all the other aspects of controlling what measures can be used to "save" or "treat" her be reviewed to insure that MOM'S wishes are served and accurately spelled out to leave no room for dissent or interpretation.

quote:

"Don't do CPR on me. If I die, don't bring me back."

*chuckle* Did I ever tell y'all that Mom always felt so strongly about this that she said she wanted a tattoo across her chest that said:
"If it stops, DON'T restart!"

GOTTA LOVE IT!! Maybe if more of us got tattoos like THAT, there would be no questions!
Maybe something nice with pink roses...

Oh Im sorry Torp I was relating to the DPOA and what that entails should this young lady's mom decide she wants her DPOA changed there are many clauses in them that I was referring to.
Her mom in order to side step the other daughters wishes is going to need to revoke the DPOA she now holds and to give someone else of her choosing that concurs with her wishes of no lifesaving measures taken.
The DNR is completely different like you stated

Now, that's not the way it was explained to us at all. Life saving treatments are the domain of the DPOA and possibly the living will, but DNR relates strictly to resuscitation if she should arrest. Looking over our copy of our LO's DNR orders, that's the way I understand it as well. Basically, it means, "Don't do CPR on me. If I die, don't bring me back."

The living will is the document to have relating to feeding tubes and so forth, and even this is subject to approval of the DPOA.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: T.O.R.P.,

If your sister is in a Living will as Moms DPOA then mom must go thru an atty.
If it is a simple DPOA that can be revoked as long as your mom is of sound mind by simply drawing up another DPOA with whomever she wants to be her DPOA and have it witnessed by 2 NON family members they can not be related to any of you by blood or marriage.
But again she MUST be of sound mind no ifs ands or buts about it.
As MB stated you have got to be specific as to what she wants as far as life saving measures taken in the event she codes, has an infection etc. Yes an infection, you can choose to withhold antibiotic therapies but you must choose this in the DPOA otherwise they will administer the necessary drugs to mom.
So please have someone who is knowledgeable who can guide you in this

There is a difference between a DNR, A Living Will and/or an Advanced Directive. They are all similar, but some are much more specific about how and under what circumstances they are to be utilized. A good Living Will (or Advanced Directive) should include and spell out items like under what circumstances a person would allow the use of a ventilator, dialysis, etc. It should also be VERY specific as to whether or not nutrition and hydration can be withheld. What constitutes "keeping someone alive by artificial means?" Dot ALL the I's and cross ALL the T's!!! Unless one wishes for the doctors to decide when to say when and to enforce the document, direct that two doctors have to recommend enforcement of the DNR and Advanced directive AND the DPOA MUST concur.

Yep. Mom can sign it. Having a DPOA assigned doesn't take away their right to make decisions for themselves.

Basically all DNR orders means is that if mom's heart stops naturally, the SNF won't do cpr to get it started again. It doesn't affect her treatments in any way.

Right, If your mom is sound of mind, she can have papers drawn to DNR or she could switch POA , She can have 2 t sets of POA one person can be medical POA and another can be DPOA. My Parents have the request to DNR, and as much as it would hurt myself it is selfish of me not to honor their wishes or let them suffer longer just for my sake. It is amazing how my point of view has almost donw a complete 180 on matters like this. I use to be a strict conservative type person on all issues. Now I am still conservative on Financial and some social issues but more in favor of other issues. I support Medical use of Marijuana. Doctor assisted suicides still kinda scare me, especially if you go back in History that is how Hitler started out with his mass killings, 1st it was the people dying, then he had the mentally incompetant, then the elderly then we all know it led to the Jewish people. Actually whe n I worked in Mental Health Field i had discussions on that subject with Doctors & Nurses like they told me when a person is so severe they usually have Narcotic type of medicine, and technically they could make patient come in every day to take the medicine, but usually get an ample supply...then they said figure it out for yourself. But that is off the subject sorry sometimes I ramble. But best to sit down with sister and explain to her your Mother's wishes and Her quality of life. That one who has the honor of the positon of POA and accept that position is to honor the persons wishes.

If mom is of sound mind she can have the papers drawn for her to sign.Allow others to witness what she has said.