When I was caring for Milly her Drs. kept referring to me as her daughter. Her one Dr. explained that the care of a parent with AD generally fell on the shoulders of the oldest daughter. Since I was the one caring for Milly and we had this bond, it just seemed natural to think of me as her daughter. Well Milly's daughter lived states away (she made sure that she was no where close) and saw her about every two years or so.

When Milly passed I consoled myself with thinking that I would not be seeing her daughter any more. Plus Milly's daughter had ironically ended up caring for her mother-in-law who has MID (Multiple Infractia Dementia) and possible Alz. It did iratate me though when she would call me for advice, crying on my shoulder on how hard SHE had it. Granted her husband is a jerk of a con artist, her mother-in-law had money, which they are spending on themselves, etc., etc., etc.. Well to cut out a lot of junk guess who ends up at our dorr last night. Yep Milly's daughter.

She is leaving her husband. The care of her mother-in-law became too much. Her husband does not help and will not get a job, etc., etc., etc.. She came to get advice and etc., etc., etc. Oh yeah she has talked my son into getting her a rented van and going down there around the 1st to get her stuff and move her back up. She has also asked for my advice. Seems her husband put the house they bought with the MIL's money in her name. Geeeeeeeeeeeez!!!!!!! I told her to get it out of her name and dump it all back in hubby's lap (her husband has not paid taxes in years, tore up his SS card and etc., etc., etc..

Now that her mother is no longer here I guess she will be moving back close to us again. Oh well I guess life goes on.

Well my son is on the way down now to get her. He should have her up here either late Tuesday or early Wed. I am not sure how that is gonna turn out as she did not arrange for the truck when my son told her to. I think she is enjoying playing dumb and helpless.

I am a bit concern that either her husband is goning to try to pull a quick con on her or that she and him are doing a scam to try to keep the house (that they bought with the MIL's money) and place her in a NH without having to pay a dime. Only time will tell.

So what's the latest on this, Edyth Ann? How is it working out?

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Puffin

Well my husbands sister has left to go home and pack her bags. It seems she has talked my son into going down with a truck in about two weeks to bring her back. What has become apparent to me is the amount of resentment I still hold towards her. I cared for her mother in one form or the other since 1989, the last 8 years of caring for her was 24/7. Milly's daughter did everything she cxould to make sure she was not here to help or even be responsible for her care.

The ironic thing was when she ended up caring for her MIL with vasicular dementia. It turns out her MIL has (or rather had money) and the son and husband to my SIL is a con artist. They have a real hard time understanding the difference between what we did in caring for Milly and what they are doing in stripping the funds from the MIL for their own benefit. OH well some never do get it.

Yet the whole time she was standing there looking me straight in the face telling me how hard it was to care for her MIL and how abusd and used she felt and how the son did not help her and etc. etc. etc. I could not help but feel the resentment build up in me. I sooooooooooooooo wanted to ask how his behavior was any different then her own behavior towards her own Mom.

Ack! This sounds like a no-good-deed-goes-unpunished story, Edyth Ann. Having survived caregiving, you can now look forward to having messy lives dropped on your doorstep. I feel for ya.

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Puffin