About a week ago, my brother told me that he would chip in to help mom get into a nursing home until of course, her long-term care insurance kicks in. I then emailed BOTH my brother and sister to let them know what mom's rent at the A.L. Center would be on a monthly basis. My sister and her husband have a ton of money, my brother and his family do not. My sister calls me and literally screams at me on the phone and said she doesn't have money to help mom and "F" you and the entire family. I've given my sister email updates on mom but it looks like that's not possible anymore. I won't have anything to do with her anymore. She's killed our relationship. Do other families deal with this? P.S. I apologized to her for offending her. She has not apologized nor do I believe she will.

spookystuff, I am not going to defend your sister at all for the way she acted toward you. It was indefensible. I will say that sometimes what seems like a plush financial situation isn't at all. People who have the types of income that would make us more modest folks spin, are often deeply in debt, have made bad investments, been hit hard recently by the stock market, and are way over commited. You know, the more you have the more you can lose.

At least you know your answer to her if she EVER needs anything from you.

Boy, that sounds bad. I'm with you, that's a relationship-killer. I saw a book a long time ago about "Toxic People" and that's one of my favorite terms now. You can't "learn" to live with truly toxic people. They will erode you and bring out your bitterness and challenge you at every opportunity. But we have to be civil to our siblings as long as the parents are around. After that, I truly don't care if I ever see some of them again. And I refuse to feel guilty for that.
I don't think our families could afford to split the bill for a home, the monthly fees are staggering and we just don't have it. I hope you can get the financial issues resolved and your Mom can get settled in.

I have a question spooky
This long term ins. is this a new purchase or old ie bought into years ago.
Id call them up and if its an older purchase I would ask if theres such a thing as retro pay so that the rent is paid by them from the start of her stay.
Is it necessary that she go into this ALF right now or can it be put off for the 90 days?

Unfortunately like MB stated this is an all too common occurrence in families and it always rears its ugly head at the very mention of money...
Gotta love it I got the ole teeth kicked in by family over money so I do feel you.
For me there is no coming back from a betrayal like that
I was raised better than that, yes there are greedheads in this world but it doesnt give them the right to betray family over something that really doesnt matter in the grand scheme of things...whatever sisters issue is it doesnt give her the right to curse you.
If she has a problem with your mom its not yours.

Thank you for the very wise words Moms_Buddy. I'm sure you're right about these things bringing out the best and worst in people. I also have to wonder about what is really going on with her also. Time will tell.
Mom's insurance kicks in within 90 days.

Thank you again.

I wish I could say that stuff like that hardly ever happens, spooky, but it's very common. There's something about a parent becoming helpless that brings out the best and worst in their children... Maybe it's unresolved difficulties or fear of loss or growing old ourselves - I dunno, but it happens a lot more than one would think...

Try to hang in and be patient even if it curls your hair... It's hard to see into the soul of another and understand why they behave badly. Don't lose hope in your sister despite her poor behavior - she may surprise you at some point. Maybe it would be helpful to email her and ask her why she was so upset? If she couldn't chip in, well that's understandable, but to scream at you, Eff You and the whole family - that's a LEEDLE over the top, I think!! I can't help but wonder what was really going on there...

Best of luck with getting your Mom settled and paid for - how long until the insurance kicks in?