Hello everyone, I am staying away from my demented father who has (1) abused my mother all her life, (2) abuses me the last 8 years, and (3) calls the police on me if I contact him. So I don't.
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But now I have a brother...whom I thought loved me...he has been certified terminally ill but refuses services like In Home Care Services, Hospice, everything, due to his paranoia. His doctors keep stressing to him to see a psychiatrist and he won't. We were doing fine for a long time together...he sent me loving emails every day and although he became too paranoid to talk on the phone, he was nice. I told him that if he could get stabilized, I could get an older RV trailer donated to him where he would love to live in the mountains that just happens to have a medical clinic nearby.

He is dying of COPD/heart failure and now has terrible edema. I don't think he is getting stabilized; I think he is getting worse. SUDDENLY, he turned on me terribly! I did find him not only a free RV, but people to tow it, set up and a permanent campsite rental, like he has always dreamed of for his entire life.
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Not only has he refused these beautiful gifts, (and I even said he wouldnt have to see me to get them), but now he has abused me in emails in the most horrible fashion...accusing me of all kinds of horrible things. Then he called our crazy father and talked him into doing a false restraining order against me. (I hear it's coming). This is done by them to hurt me and HARASS me, not to stop anything I'm doing, which I'm not doing!
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Is my brother striking out at me because he's in pain and upset about the fact that his body probably will never be the same? He has always been very secretive and won't tell us how long he has to live or anything.

Mae, thank you SO much. That was such a wise post to me. I think he may be living in very bad conditions...I will call APS to check on him, but he will hate me for the rest of my life and maybe even do a restraining order against me for it. He lives a very, very far away from me and the rest of our crazy family (2 males that are very rageful and crazy). I am the only person who seeks psychiatric treatment. My brother refuses it. He is paranoid from his alcoholism. He's always tended to be that way. Yes, I tried, and now I have to forget him if he only wants to abuse me.

You cannot change a person.
You can only change how you choose to react to them.

It's a guessing game and waste of time to try to see someone's intentions.

longdistance daughter, so sorry to hear you are having to deal with this emotional abuse.
If your brother refuses help your hands are tied.
I would let him know you will not speak with him until he seeks medical diagnosis.
If the nasty emails continue, block him.
Does he take any meds that may cause the paranoia?

It is difficult to care for someones well being and have them fight you every inch of the way.
One thing, if it is proven he is not capable of caring for himself and lives in less desirable conditions, you can contact adult protective services.
Does he have anyone who has strong influence over him?Thought he might listen to them.
You have done all you can.You made it possible for him to live his dream but he is not in a position , mentally, to understand you mean well.
You may have to cut the ties to avoid the stress and uglines directed at you.
You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make them drink.
Do not allow this to consume you.You tried .