I was not sure where to place this post, I hope its in the right place, anyway, I just want everyone to have a chance to read what I want to say to Mar.

To Mar and everyone in your situation....You have a "brother" who will not respond to your Thanksgiving wishes..he wouldn't even speak to you after the burial of your Mother. Yes, according to blood, genes and whatever else, he is your brother. But what about your friends, the people you work with, your neighbors, and those living away from you who love you so much. We do consider them family, don't we? At least I do, I have friends who call me "Sister" who I love so very much. I don't love them the same way I love my Sister, but I am crazy about them and the times that are few that we get to spend together! When you are feeling sad, low, and alone during the Holidays, remember them! They are the glue that keeps us together during hard times, as we do for them!

That is where the phrase "Family is a state of mind" came to me from my BFF, she has no family other than her daughter, and she has gathered a small network of friends that are her family, I am honored to be at the top of her list! She came to Thanksgiving at my house, with 30 family members and friends crowded in my home, she stepped up and carved the ham! I can always count on her through good times and bad, she is always willing to tell me that I have a "tone" in my voice that is at best..testy.. .

Lets all look around us and be thankful for those who do not have the same blood running through thier veins and love us for who we are!

Thanks Bobcat. you know I've been getting these waves of sadness that just washes over me the last few days. They don't last long, maybe 10 - 15 min. and then I pull out of it and go on. Since Dan's off today(still sleeping at almost 1:30 and I'll let him for another half hour) I'm making my turkey dinner for us today and I guess that with the Holiday music and shows just brings back the memories. I had everything cut to fit at the old house. Garland is just the right size for the old doorways and such. I go to hang things in new areas and find myself short in some and way to much in others. I just have to adjust everything and I'll admit it I become a little (lot)OCD with my decorations being just so. It will all work out. My kitten tried to get out this morning when I went to get the paper and I caught her by the tail! To my cat lovers out there once they get fixed does that get easier? SHe scared me with how much she wanted out. I'm thinking of putting her downstairs when Dan leaves for work now and just letting her up when I get in or at least put her in the bathroom when I go for a short run or pick up mail or paper. Any help from my animal lovers out there??

Mar, it is good to hear that things are falling into place for you. The idea that your "family" network is there for you is indeed something to be thankful for. Sounds like you will be able to do some hostessing of your own over the Christmas season, decorations, things in place. Thinking of you sweetie.

Thanks BWB. I have spent Thanksgiving with my friend and old neighbor,her husband and her mom. We took Dan a plate of food, walking up the block for him to eat at work. Then another of my friends called at 7 asking where I was and they were not eatting dessert without me being there so I went there. This weekend my friends son came and helped me make room in the garage as well as put the landlady's boxes up in the attic so my livingroom is now clean and decorations are starting to come out and find a new place in my new home. Without friend I never could have, well I could have, survived all these life altering sittuations since way before mom got sick back to when Doug died. They are not only mine but Dan's life line as well. I always talk about my nieces's kids my niece that got married and nephew who I just financilly helped out a bit so he didn't get kicked out of his place...they ARE my FAMILY...we are just not BLOOD RELATED and to Dan, that's the family he's had since he was born and we love them as much as they love us. Yes I am blessed with them and although at times I still feel hurt by all my biological brother has done I can let it go easier now and move on. Thanks for reminding me what family is and I am also lucky to have this cyber family as well. On to Daytona 500 -2008 race. Doug always said he wanted to take Dan when he turned 21 and he's been bugging me so I am taking a big step and venturing into the unknown and hope to get my travel bug back to where I want to explore new places again.

Happy Thanksgiving to all.
I have the same situation. I have really rotten biological family members(that is what I call them when I have to refer to them, if I want to use "nice" words,LOL) I have a great support system -They are MY FAMILY,besides my husband and kids. We have been art of their family for 27 years and we celebrate all birthdays and holidays together and they are my kids aunts and uncles.
We have been there thru thick and thin for each other. That is what a real family does, not what I have dealing with my "bio bro". He is a poor excuse for a human being.Need I say more.

These friends/family are one of the best things to ever come into my life and I treasure each and every one of them - and there is alot of them.
As this Thanksgiving has just passed, I truly give thanks to my kids, husband and my "real family members." They are all the ones to try to keep me grounded.
My mom had always said she was grateful I had my friend/family because I lived far away from my mom.

Another of my friends always said"you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family" BUT I did just that. I picked both.

So this holiday season, let us try and forget about the "bios" who make us miserable and enjoy our friends and other family members who are caring.

The "bios" are just not worth it.....

I totally agree with BWB.
My daughters have 3 "Uncles" who are friends of our families since college, who would do anything for them. Their blood uncle barely knows them - his choice. My friend from high school is the only "sister" blood or otherwise I have ever had. She is the only one who can tell me I am "fake smiling" and thus knows I am unhappy. What we don't give OURSELVES often enough is permission to CHOOSE not to be around those who are abusive. We don't have to allow someone to hurt us because we share genes!

Preach on sista