so i have been with grandma since she got sick sitting at the hospital put my life on hold so she could come home, quit my job on the condition i would get paid, which the social worker said wouldnt be a problem. my aunt lives across town and has been tellin me that she cant get ahold of the man she needs to speak with at human services. i get a call today from my mother she called to find out what is going on, and found out my aunt had gotten the paper work but never handed it in. because of my aunts laziness i wont be paid for the month of july, i am so mad. i dont understand why she wouldnt do it. she knew that i will be starting school in october and i was depending on that money, but oh well the fact that i put my life on hold and moved in with grandma doesnt matter to her i guess i just dont understand why someone would be like that. its not even like dropping off the paper work is out of her way the building is right next to where she works. ugh just so frustrated
well bobcat i believe that my aunt is just a very self centered person.
my mom has been doin her best to help me out from 2 hours away, i guess after i get back from my brothers wedding my mom is going to sit grandma down and give her an ultimatum since she needs someone with her and i am not getting the help i need from my aunt.
update.... grandma had a hospital bed in storage which auntie brought over to put in grandmas apartment well they didnt even take it off the truck when they told grandma that it wouldnt fit into her apartment, no biggie grandma told them to try and sell it then, when my mom got wind of this (grandma told her) she talked to my auntie and told her that the money from the bed should go to me because i still have not gotten paid for taken care of grandma, well auntie agreed however the next morning when my mom was talkin to grandma, grandma infromed my mom that auntie being the great person she is just decided to donate the bed to goodwill since sellin it would be too much of a hassell. i feel like crap because my mom and my aunt are now fighting about me, my mom feels that i am being taken advantage of. auntie feels that i am getting a free ride from grandma, because i dont pay rent and eat her food. no i dont pay rent however, her rent is based on her income and because it was ordered by the dr she needs a care give to stay with her it didnt affect her rent, however if grandma were to end up in the hospital (even over night) i would have to take my things and leave basically leaving me homeless, because i gave up my apartment when this was all arranged
no that hasnt happened however in this state i believe if there are familly isues they will appoint one.
you its interesting that you brought up about my aunt not willing to quit her job to take care of grandma, aunties husband offered to move there computer and convert their office into a room for grandma but auntie said no, the way i see it is auntie is in total denial that anything is wrong, and doing anything like that would be a slap into reality. and she would have to admit that something is wrong
I am so sorry sweetie. It is unfortunate that figuring out how an elder will be cared for often causes a rift in the family. I really hope that this can be talked through, and auntie will realize that this is serious business. Clearly SHE was not willing to quit her job to do this, and if she HAD, we know darn well she would have gotten that paper work in on time for every dime.
Sorry, I really don't mean to be fanning the flames. The very fact that you would not leave you Gran uncared for regardless of pay tells me who you are. We all need money to live on. Tell auntie you need an advance on your pay because you are out of a critical female hygiene item and having gone without pay for (4, 5, 6 weeks) reality must rule. Your auntie needs a serious wakeup call.
Don't know where you are, but here, the state will not appoint a POA unless the elder is declared legally incompetent. That hasn't happened yet has it?
everyone that was involved decided i would be paid i looks really bad when i read it on here but i had to quit my job to do this the thing is my aunt knows i would do this even if i didnt get paid however i need to buy my own things too and hopefully it gets to the point where i can move out of grandmas or grandma can move with me to a different apartment but anyway back to the point my mom has been in contact with the man at human services and he said that i will be retropaid from aug on, mom very upset at auntie. because of the resent family issues like my aunt neglecting to do things and my mom having to step in my mom is thinking about getting a state appointed POA
Ymyers, Most of us here share BG's ruffled feathers when it comes to the use of an elder's money for anything other than their care and welfare. Her care does allow for you to be compensated from her funds if she has them.
quote:
on the condition i would get paid, which the social worker said wouldnt be a problem. my aunt lives across town and has been tellin me that she cant get ahold of the man she needs to speak with at human services.
Does that mean your pay will be funded by another source?
I hope your mother can help straighten this out, both your pay and the POA/DPOA, because it can turn into a mega-mess in a heart beat. There are several "legal" websites where you can look at (even free download and print) POA and DPOA forms for your state. It is always best to have a knowledgable person (elder law attorney)make sure that any such legal work does in fact properly meet your needs. But I find it interesting and helpful to read over such forms in advance.
One of ECO's sponsers is Legal Zoom. You can click on their site off the home page. Here is their POA education page.
well at this time grandma does not have one my aunt was suppose to fill out the paper work and never did, my mom is comming to visit next week for grandmas doctors apointment and going to get alot of this straightened out
Ymyers...question Who is your grandmothers POA and DPOA? Cause that should be you if you are caring for her or at the very least someone you can trust to be on top of things. Auntie can no longer (sorry I believe the word should be "shouldn't" rather than "can no longer"...thats just my feathers rufflin *chuckle*) "borrow" money from gran to bail her lil a$$ out of her latest jam she got herself into....but thats just my protective side when it comes to elders and something we here so lovingly refer to as "fiduciary abuse". Grans money is for her care and welfare not aunties next big ticket item she cant afford knowaddimean?
********************************************** Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit.
