Along with taking care of dh I keep thinking I need to pick up on things I used to do. Like quilting and bead stringing. When I look at quilting projects, the endless cutting, sewing, piecing, and pressing just seem too much. And the cost of fabric keeps getting higher. Beading also seems like a chore, searching the catalogue or internet for just the right beads, findings, and working out the designs. I don't need necklaces, I have some beautiful ones that I have made, but not much opportunity to wear them often. My biggest pleasure is my books and working on my genealogy. With my fibromyalgia, and severe fatigue, physical activity seems to take more of an effort. Just the physical activity needed to take care of dh wears me out and by evening I am in my recliner in a "fibro fog." My dh is my priority.

So...do I really have to do things that result in something tangible like a quilt or necklace that I would struggle to do? Or am I just being lazy?

Thanks to all of you who responded. MERRWID, you make sense about just having things there to do when you want to do them. I have all my quilt fabric sorted by color in a plastic drawer unit and am in the process of setting up my beading place. Have had everything in boxes from moving, but getting it out now. Just dreaming through the bead catalogue helps. And I know how restful valleys can be.

Buddy, your thoughts on quick activities are right on, I need to work on this. I also realize fully that I must take care of myself because if I can't take care of DH, I don't know who will.

Bobcat, my genealogy gives me hours of pleasure and satisfaction, I love doing the research, and the internet has yielded so much ancestor info. I need to start writing, but that may wait until I am alone and can give it my full attention without distractions. May I have that distraction for years yet!

God bless you all.

When you're emotionally exhausted along with physically, it's even harder to be tempted by something you used to find enjoyable. It became so difficult to start quilting, crocheting, etc, just to have to put it down because I had to tend to Don that I just gave it all up completely. I knew that sooner rather than later I would have all the time I wanted to use on any craft I could think of. So far I've gathered enough fabric for 3 quilts, one wall hanging, just recently put together and "decorated" 6 new bookcases and a TV stand (you can't tell my Walmarts from the $1500 ones, lol!), and have sorted by color all of the beads I got from my Dad when he decided he didn't want to work with them anymore, PLUS incorporated all the stuff I got from Granny.
The fabric and beads sit silently, waiting for a flash of inspiration. I've had a few; some folks got jewelry for Christmas. But the fog has never lifted entirely. Or maybe this is a new one, and I'm afraid to start once more, because I just KNOW I'll have to put it aside again soon.
No Farmgirl, you're not lazy. You're just resting in the valley between the mountains you must climb everyday.

Farmgirl, I am a working artist and as the years of caregiving went by, my projects decreased because it was too much to juggle everything. I needed a clear mind and a good block of time to make projects and those two things were in short supply after a while. I found candlemaking enjoyable, but even that lagged toward the end... Depression and sadness saps the lifeblood out of crafting or any enjoyable pasttime. When things you enjoy become chores or do not provide you with pleasure, it's time to take your own pulse on your own depression level. One of the signs of depression is no longer enjoying things we've always enjoyed and beating ourselves up because we have no energy to give a crap about things we USED to care about.

You have PLENTY on your plate so please don't get on your butt about not making enough artwork, or thinking you are lazy, etc. Shift your focus to ANY quick activity from which you can derive satisfaction and joy. The stress of caregiving saps energy and joy from life. We simply have to learn how to replenish it in less stressful ways.

DO realize that even though DH is Priority 1, caring for the caregiver MUST come first or everything falls apart. Giving a little of your energy over to things that renew you is just as important as anything your husband requires!! When everything starts feeling like a chore, it's time to get real serious about stress management and taking time for oneself. {{{HUGS}}}

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Moms_Buddy,

Oh, honey, only you can answer that. I will tell you that as our life changes, the things that bring reward also change. Sometimes something we 'used' to do will come back to us, sometimes we just move on. I do believe it is important to have something of your own and geneology could well suit the bill. It should be something that gives you go power. I am sure you are not lazy.

The things we choose to do on top of all we have to do, need to be a refuge and rewarding. Not a chore. Beading may come back as you look forward to an occasion and need a gift, Quilting may come back later. But you have enough 'chores'. I don't think you need to make an loved old craft into another one.

Maybe someone else will have a different opinion. I will be very interested in the viewpoint.

(((Hugs to you)))