There are times during the caregiving process, that nearly everyone feels overwhelmed, depressed, aggravated and alone. We all have our ways of dealing with these uncomfortable feelings, otherwise we would not make it through for very long!!
I think one secret to getting through difficulties in life is to have a BIG bag of resources to draw on when things are not going well, so here's my question:
What do YOU do to cheer yourself up, recenter yourself and recharge your batteries for another day?
I dunno about y'all, but this ol' dawg LOVES learning new tricks!! I thought if we shared our favorite soothing skills, coping mechanisms, directions for finding rainbows that maybe, we'd ALL learn some new tricks...
"She ain't heavy; she's my mother." Mom got her wings 11/18/2008
Posts: 3672 | Location: SE LA | Registered: August 12, 2004
Wow, it's been a loooooong time since I've visited here! Just checking in to reply to this topic for now. I'll be back, though.
I have several places on our property and close to our property that are my little 'havens'. I call them 'sacred places'.
One of my favorite places is right in the middle of our back yard, where I lay myself on the grass under one of our apple trees, belly down, and hug the earth.
There's something about this particular activity that refreshes my soul, and there's nothing I have to do to prepare for it, I don't have to 'go' anywhere, or get someone to stay with mom.
It IS, however, a little harder to get up than it used to be, but it's worth it, just to have that feeling of refreshment and renewal.
There are other places too. One is a short walk to the river, and all I have to do is walk out my back gate, and walk ten minutes to the river. Sitting there, watching the water flow by is like having a 'soul bath' and getting my 'innards' all cleaned up and cleared up.
Michael, My dogs are my saving grace. I rescue greyhounds and they are the sweetest creatures on earth.
the dog we had when my sons were young was a springer spaniel. He loved the water and we could not keep him out of it. Every creature has their quirks. They bring us joy, comfort and unconditional love.
Your sense of humor is a blessing. If you can find humor in your day, it is a day worth living. Hugs to your creature!
Michael you certainly haven't lost your sense of humor in this caregiving thing. Dogs are certainly the greatest stress relievers. I'm sorry you furry friend doesn't enjoy the beach. Mine LOVES the beach, water, people, other dogs. We go for a walk on the beach at least once a day.(she got spoiled going for a walk when the workers were here getting Mike up. She knew that we went as soon as they got here. She has taken to thinking we should go further now that we don't have a schedual-lead me astray this am-she went WAY down the beach much further than usual-she can be very deaf-you know the old selective hearing. The dog we had before my husband had his stroke HATED WATER but loved the boat. She would wait till we were close enough to shore to jump to the beach-if Mike couldn't get close enough I had to get in the water and pull her in. She would go in the water to get back on the boat-with a little boost. Sandy has never been on a boat-I'd be afraid she'd see a bird, seal or something and jump overboard-she'd need a harness and a seat belt
"Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open."
I dunno about y'all, but this ol' dawg LOVES learning new tricks!!
Speaking of dogs, my favorite newly acquired stress reliever-after years of zombiehood-is to take my Shitz Tzu to the local “dog beach” here in Venice, Florida. Unfortunately, he hates the sand, the other dogs, the sun, but mostly the water. At first, I was afraid that he was part sand crab and not a purebred canine as his papers implied, as he would walk along the shore and would crab to the side whenever a wave would approach. After a few weeks of tolerating my need to recharge my batteries in the sun and surf he grew impatient and would bolt for the car as soon as we stepped onto the sandy beach front. In frustration, I decided that he needed a good old fashioned ‘baptism’ to overcome his recalcitrance and selfishness. I soon discovered that he was an avowed atheist (or a dognostic at best). So ‘no new tricks for this ol’ dawg‘, but I’ve come to respect his new found religious beliefs and he my need for re-centering. We still manage to go to the beach a few times a week as the sun sets on another successful care giving day. Why didn’t I discover this concept of coping and de-stressing 3 years ago? Oh well, as Peppy the hydrophobic dog would say: “it’s water under the bridge---and good riddance”.
I have a "best little friend" my neighbor, Sara. She is 5 yr old. Her favorite word is "actually".
When she visits with her mom or dad, she fills me and mama with pure, sheer delight! I will drop everything to draw with chalk or play with my small collection of teddy bears with her!
It's so much fun to feel and be reminded of the childlike wonder in all things! Sometimes the adult world can just wear you down. I highly recommend "rent a child"!
I have always taken photographs. When I was clearing off the disk recently, I noticed that over the years, the number of photo folders has diminished and there was NONE for 2008!! So a couple of days after Mom died, I went to a favorite spot near Pass Manchac to shoot the sunset (one of my favorite subjects). Here's the best from that trip - sing "Just Another Manchac Sunset" to the tune of "Just Another Manic Monday" for the full effect!
"She ain't heavy; she's my mother." Mom got her wings 11/18/2008
Posts: 3672 | Location: SE LA | Registered: August 12, 2004
In the past year, I have learned to use my digital camera to a better level and learned a little about editing them. I wish I was getting more fresh air, but I really do enjoy photography, there is always something to learn, something to do, and I can stay in hearing distance.
Creative outlets are very important to me. Making things is concrete proof of productive energy. It is that much more enriching when much of my energy is spent on unproductive, spinning-wheels type of tasks.
"She ain't heavy; she's my mother." Mom got her wings 11/18/2008
Posts: 3672 | Location: SE LA | Registered: August 12, 2004
I have my own private "play room." I escape there to listen to my favorite CD's and lose myself in beads. I spend hours putting various combinations together and eventually I have a new necklace to wear. dh knows where I am and will wander in to see what I am making. Escape makes it easier to deal with the real world.
Without God, I truly think we could not do an effective job caring for those who depend on us! I am speak for myself, and also, I believe, for many others here. He is my Sustainer and my Shelter.
as far as mb suggestion that we share our ways of destressing ok. i have many ways and some of them are for me alone and some i can include daisy in but still have fun. i like to attempt to quilt. mom was a whiz and won ribbons for her quilts. she always was willing to teach me but when we would get together we always ended up going to lunch and shopping or something and always thought there would be another day to do it. now i am self teaching and coming up with some unsual creations from things that started as a pattern and grew from there. people have asked for my patterns for some of my mistakes! daisy likes sorting and folding the fabric very neatly. i also like painting, watercolors and acylics, mostly wildlife, wolves, bears, eagles, all the animals of alaska. took a couple of lessons but no inborn talent.i give daisy paper, a brush and a pallet and let her do water colors. i like stain glass, that i have to do by myself for obvious reasons. i also work with kids to read and volunteer at the library for story hour. i love this as i can take daisy and she enjoys it as much as the kids. i love to bring the stories to life with a lot of gusto and animation. good at voices too! when my H is available, which is three days a week i am able to do the domestic violence crisis work and the suicide hotline. to not burn out on the volunteer work i rotate. i also counsel pregnant teens and help them with resources. again my interests have to be cycled since i can't do them all.i also like to just get in the car and drive along the lake and go through the small towns along the way. no highways for me! who knows when i can find a great old piece of furniture to drag home to refinish in the garage. daisy and i also go to the nh and share crafts with them. they don't budget much for entertainment and i can do a lot without many resources. these are things i like to do and they actually help stimulate daisy. win, win situation and bless my H for giving part of his days off for me.
Posts: 1329 | Location: mitten state | Registered: May 23, 2007
I think everyone has interesting ancestors. I am thrilled to have Walt Whitman on my tree and a Mohawk princess way back in the 1600's as an ancestor. One of my Whitman ancestors was on a prison ship in New York Harbor during the Revolutionary War. When he was released he had to petition to get his land back. I'm sure the more I dig the more treasures I will find.
farmgirl, yes we all need 'me' time. and i too love leaving the driving to amtrak. only did it once and i am sold on it. we will go to chicago for a couple of days in october, my two sisters and me. i really energize my batteries there. if i could aford to live the life i would like to become accustomed to, i would like living there. the genealology research sounds interesting. i think the trip to oregon will be nice for both of you. i know you worry but i think you will find it enjoyable and be relaxed when you return. keep in touch when you can and share some of your interesting discoveries on the family tree. i found out i am related to william tecumseh sherman of the civil war fame and no, i don't agree with his tactics for all our southern friends, i am a pacifist. and i am related to bert parks of miss america fame. i personally have no claim to fame! have fun.
Posts: 1329 | Location: mitten state | Registered: May 23, 2007
Although my dh is not hard to care for as yet, I still need "me" time. That's when I go to the computer and work on my genealogy and family history. I just finished reorganizing my office so the mess doesn't stress me out when I walk into the room. And I love doing the research, have located more relatives than I knew I had.
dh is taking me to Oregon in a couple of weeks to spend some time with a friend. We will go on Amtrak, which I love. I am so looking foreward to getting to the beach and just walking. I worry about something happening to him on this trip but realize he needs to do it and I will just deal with anything that comes up. It will be good to go, but it is always good to get home again.
Hello everyone, I have not been here in a while, but I hope to visit more often. Over the past year, all I could concentrate on was nursing school but I have finally finished! As far as uplifting our spirits, I cannot think of anyone who can do that better than our Lord Jesus Christ. I recently stumbled upon a great website that is very uplifting. It is Christianwomenonline.com It is full of uplifting information. The best way that I have found to uplift my spirits is to get into the Word of God and let him work within me. Good to be back. I wish everyone a blessed day! Angel, eldercares.net alzheimersdementiainfo.com
The dog we had before my husband had his stroke HATED WATER but loved the boat. She would wait till we were close enough to shore to jump to the beach-if Mike couldn't get close enough I had to get in the water and pull her in. She would go in the water to get back on the boat-with a little boost. Sandy has never been on a boat-I'd be afraid she'd see a bird, seal or something and jump overboard-she'd need a harness and a seat belt 
