I have been working for an 83 year old woman since January of 09, her husband is very nice and she is a sweetheart, most of the time. Mildred suffered a broken hip several years ago,has COPD,she cannot walk, transfers with help, uses a lift to go to the bathroom. She is taking a few prescriptions, cymbalta,alprazalom (zanyx) (for many years.) Her husband decided they wanted to bring her home. I am not a CNA but when the job came availabe I was very well liked by the family. A different caretaker comes on the weekends, Mildred prefers me!! I spend nine hrs during the day with her, come back in the evenings for an hour to get her in bed. I do showers, meals, laundry, etc. Her husband cannot sit still, mowing five acres, fishing, going to the bank, etc.. any errand he can think of and she resents him for "leaving her". Mildred has been fighting a UTI for a few months now, been hospitalized twice, the first time was vey scarry for me, she became very confused and over a 24 hr period she mentally became unstable. Shots were done in her doctors office, oral antibiotics and now we are doing a 14 day in home IV (midline). Mildred and i have a pretty normal daily routine> She has always seemed depressed, anxious, and never happy. Some days therapy is good other days it is a waste of time. She complains of having nothing to do, but yet does NOT want to ... go outside, read, play cards, gardening, etc...A month ago a used wheel chair van was bought for her...easier transfers and with the thought of getting her out of the house, not going to happen she wants to do nothing, go NO where, but still complains. Her two children who live within a hour away come maybe 1 or 2 x a month, stay for 30 min and then leave. Definite friction between daughter and mother. I am with Mildred 50 - 60 hrs a week (have five children of my own) how can I help her find an interest in something and how to take care of someone who insists daily the importance of walking but does not want to take the small steps to get through therapy. Thanks for any advice you can give me.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Trish,

Hey Trish welcome in
Ditto to all that MB said and definitely push those fluids
Cant wait to hear more from you and kudos to you for being there for Mildred

Welcome to ECO, Trish. Glad you found your way here! As you found out, UTIs are nothing to mess around with! They can become quite virulent quickly and the cognitive and behavioral changes they frequently cause are nothing BUT scary! Push water, juices, fresh fruit, cranberry anything, popcicles - ANYTHING that has a high liquid content. The antibiotics can't resolve the UTI without a lot of hydration help!

Since you ae not a family member, you will need to consult with her husband. First, I'd suggest that you speak with her physician to see if any of the meds she is on could be causing this problem. Just because she's taken them for years doesn't mean she is tolerating them well now. Perhaps some could be decreased or eliminated altogether, or switched for something milder with fewer side effects. Elderly people react quite differently to medications than young & midlife adults.

Elderly people who are so physically challenged DO become weary with all the therapy, drugs, doctor visits, hospital stays, etc. It's not exactly a Mardi Gras parade for them! Asking her if she wants to do something will most likely get you nowhere fast. The answer will always be no. Making decisions is not easy for elderly folks who are impaired. I usually approached introducing activities to Mom by whisking into her room with the stuff, talking a blue streak the whole way, and just laid everything out for her to use. Never asked her if she'd LIKE to do it - I just set it up for her like I did it every day of her life! She eventually enjoyed coloring very much - markers, paints or colored pencils are great. She was not real enthusiastic at first, but I found a LOT of adult coloring pages on the internet - lovely birds, animals, flowers, mandalas, - really nice drawings. Because she liked to look at them, I got my foot in the door! It also gave us something to talk about - the colors or the designs or what kind of bird or flower it was, etc. Another activity some elderly folks enjoy is crafting - mosaics, making potholders on looms or crocheting, making little Christmas ornaments - all these can be fine activities IF they are appropriate for the cognitive and physical level Mildred is on... Crafting usually means more involvement on the part of the caregiver.

Since she has a chair lift so she CAN get away from the house (I'd have given my eye teeth for one of them for my mom!!!), just get her ready and take her someplace - anyplace. Make up a story about an errand you have to do and cannot leave her if you have to... I don't know where y'all live, but it's still petty steamy down here in Rural Hades for getting old folks out and about (they wither quickly from heat), but mornings are a good time for most! Again, try not to ask her "would you like to...?" 'cause the answer will be no. Tell her that you and she are going to _____ today. You know she likes her pink dress, so you have it all ready for her. Try to keep a line of babble running so she doesn't get much opportunity to interrupt and resist.

Others will jump in and offer you more ideas, so hang tight until they all awaken and have their coffee...

Best of luck in your endeavors to increase Mildred's quality of life and many blessings to you for caring enough to do so!!

PS There are TONS if ideas buried in the previous topics here at ECO - if you have time, try to skim through a few...