I am 15 and I sit with my neighbor's mother, who has alzhiemers, twice a week.

Recently I took her to the bathroom and she didn't make it in time, I was trying to clean her up but she was mad and upset. She was yelling at me and she didn't want my help, pushing me away. Eventually she calmed down and let me clean her up.

I get really nervous everytime I have to sit with her now. It's only for an hour or two but please, what should I do and how should I handle this if it happens again? I really need advice of those who have gone through this before as well. And I have talked with my Mom about this matter. I would just like to know others opinions as well, thanks!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Misa,

quote:

Originally posted by Sister Awake:
Misa, I would insist that the neighbour make sure her mother is wearing Depends "just in case" every time you come over, so messes will be less messy. Has your neighbour provided you with latex gloves to wear and wipes to clean up with if this happens? Is there ever a time during the day that the mother is napping, and you could sit while she sleeps instead of when she's awake?

Yes, that's very good advice. I have suggested that she wear depends but my neighbor has it in her head that you gotta clean it up either way. I will ask for her to wear depends when I am there though. And yes, she does have gloves and wipes. I only watch her at night because she has a sitter in the day, and my neighbor plays tennis, so that's why it's at night (when she gets home from work)

Misa, sure would like to hear back from you on this one! I hope that you have discussed this with your mom and neighbor and that they have relived you of this duty that is more than someone should ask from a young, non-family member.

Misa, I would insist that the neighbour make sure her mother is wearing Depends "just in case" every time you come over, so messes will be less messy. Has your neighbour provided you with latex gloves to wear and wipes to clean up with if this happens? Is there ever a time during the day that the mother is napping, and you could sit while she sleeps instead of when she's awake?

Misa, being this person is a friend and neighbor of your mothers I think you need to have an honest disgussion with mom
Tell her how you feel about babysitting this person.Explain your concerns to her.Just be honest .
Then she can get in contact with a family member , what ever you decide.Like the others stated , if she were sleeping when you were present that is one thing.But to have to be an active caregiver is something else.
You do what you have to do.If you feel you want to stay with this lady then ask mom to help you in dealing with the surprises.If you feel you do not want to do this, be honest and just say it.
You are a fine young lady for attempting to help this person.Good luck to you

I'm sorry Honey, if you are willing to take this "grown up" job from your neighbor, then you have to be like a grown up and tell your neighbor what happened and explain nicely how you are NOT comfortable with this job. Better yet tell your mom or dad to help you talk to her.

PS Things will get worse! Then what will you do?

Misa, have you discussed this with your neighbor or your mom? You are a remarkable young woman for sitting for your neighbor's afflicted elderly mom, and I commend you for doing this, but it is a LOT to ask of someone of your tender years! Handling the emotional/mental/physical issues that surround caring for people with AD frequently requires knowledge and expertise far beyond your years. Even an hour or two may be more than you can comfortably handle unless she is asleep! It is an unfair position in which you have been placed and honestly beyond your experience to handle.

Don't get me wrong - you did GREAT when the situation presented itself, but this is too much responsibility to ask of you! Your neighbor needs to seek an adult sitter with experience caring for patients with Alzheimer's Disease.

If you are uncomfortable talking with your neighbor about this, please ask your mom to help you discuss this with her as I think you need to bow out of this situation!

MANY blessings to you for your service to your neighbor and her mom! Your caring nature will take you a long way in life!

misa, you are very young to face this situation alone. for the most seasoned caregivers many have trouble handling this situation. it is not pleasant. you sound like an amazing young lady. god bless you. you did very good. many alz folks get angry when this happens. you showed great judgement in backing off and waiting for her to calm down before finishing the cleanup. i can understand how her anger unsettled you. that upsets all of us when we are the targets of anger. ask your neighbor if this happens often. if so ask if she can wear a depend adult diaper when you are there. you can still remind her to go to the bathroom but if she has an accident it is more contained and easier to clean up. if she is combative again just provide her with clean depends and enough supplies to clean herself and if necessary give her new clothes to put on. if the cleanup ins't perfect it should be enough to hold her over untl the neighbor returns. of course you can do what you did this time and waut until she calms down to try to finish cleaning her but you are really young to take on an alz. anger. you did good. alz. is a disease that affects the brain and the anger is not about you. you are ok. good luck and keep in touch with us. we are here.