Thanks to you all who responded to my question of who to scream at. I finally was able to get a moment alone with my brother yesterday and told him what hubby had said. Reaction? Total denial. I think because he is dealing with stuff of his own, his daughter's medical problems which we all worry about. And he was still in high school and at home when our father died after a long illness. He thinks the world of my husband and doesn't want to face the facts. So I will not depend on him at this time, but know I can when push comes to shove.

My sister in California will be the most family support. She knows what it is to be close to losing someone as she almost lost her husband to a heart attack and her response was all that I could wish for. A few close friends here and out of state will see me through.

I know it's coming down. He loves woodworking and has a 4 by 8 shop. 4 foot wide, 8 foot long workbench with his equipment for turning pens and pencils out of exotic woods. Friday he had me order a completely computerized setup, about $4000. Today he said to cancel it, he didn't want me saddled with the bill if something happened and wants to take me to the West Coast again this year. We would go by Amtrak and both really enjoy the trip. He has also decided to sell his equipment as he doesn't feel he will use it again as it is too hard for him to stand there and do the adjustments on the lathe, even though it is semi-automatic. He is concerned what he is leaving me to deal with and wants me to be as comfortable as possible with no other debts other than final ones, which are covered.

So I will talk with those I know I can count on for support all along, come here often, enjoy the time we have left together.

God bless all of you for your kind words.

Moms Buddy and Bec, what wonderful heart felt words you gave to farm girl.fARM gIRL YOUR HUBBY SOUNDS AS THOUGH HE REALIZES SO MANY THINGS AND HAS YOUR BEST INTEREST AT HEART

Farmgirl, your words about this time you and your husband are going through are so poignant to me. Sounds like despite his condition, he still has all 4 wheels on the floor and is trying to look ahead. You will have to look ahead too, because you will have to make the decisions for him when he is no longer able to do so. I hope you enjoy every moment that you can - so many folks don't...

His abilities will decline and your workload mental and physical will increase, but one thing you can count on: we'll still be here for you! Many people don't realize what a "freakout" all this is and how very upsetting it is to our own senses of emotionlal balance. We deal daily with issues no one wants to talk about - and I can't say I blame them - which is why we band together to listen, to help, to share and to educate ourselves! No matter what the future holds, I wish both of you love and light for today and all the days forward!

Farmgirl
I'm a new member and since finding this to help me cope with taking care of three parents I scream and pull my hair more days than I can count but I have learned that I am not alone I when things get tough I love to walk and that keeps me back on track ..just do what you are doing and know that you aren't alone ..take care
bec