How do you help your neighbors? I am fully involved with Mom, but a close neighbor is fighting lymphoma, stage 4. I saw this couple in WalMart. I gave hugs, but it is not enough. I would like to set up a way for neighbors to chip in. Lawn care?? Not all the property, but enough to allow access to vehicles without being consumed by ticks. I talked to the man that H hired to make sure our lawn stayed at bay. We both work such weird hours.

Lawn guy said the local churches are the way to go. If he can use this as a donation of time to the church, it could work.. Anybody got experience about how to take care of the neighbors?

Our group usually coordinates meals - a casserole that can be frozen. Coordination is very important though cause otherwise they will be overwhelmed with meals -- in in one or two days. A couple of time a week is helpful. Also respite for the CG. Ya all know how much that can help -- even for just an hour.

Way to go BC remember dont ask just do, most will tell you right off the bat no to the help even though they would love a hand.
I dont get the way people act towards cancer either it floors me unless they are just afraid of death is all I can figure.
Most of the illnesses with patients I see the "look" like am I gonna be another one who is afraid to touch them...astounding.
I hate that look someone put there, it pisses me off.
They'll say "I have..." and just watch to see my reaction as if that makes any difference to me....

The wife will be the CG through this. The husband is, if he told me correctly, in stage 4 lymphoma. Had surgery to remove his spleen, chemo might help, but it has spread widely through the lymph system. This is close to home. He is a lot younger than Daddy, but it was a cancerous tumor on his spine, they called it a lymphoma, but Daddy was 86 when diagnosed, 87 when he passed away. My friend is 54. Younger than me. I so want to be there for them. I will be too.

Starting a list. How to help:

Yard care(control);

Pick up groceries (since I am in town anyway);

Just visit for a few and let her out to breathe;

Find out if he likes to go fishing...If H will help, we got a great fishing hole;

pray

Which spouse is the CG?

Now that's a good idea, teen service. The churches here don't limit themselves to members. So they often pitch in. I also know some teachers that oversee teens who have to do community service. I might talk to them and see if this qualifies. 4H now has community service here and horticulture projects, so that is another avenue.

Yes DOCHKA, Hugs are important. But when I looked into her (The wife's) eyes it was truely like the deer in the headlights look. She is too numb to even jump right now. They both took my hugs and asked me about Mom. You are right. Many people act like cancer is cooties or something.. When I had my green house going retail, he was my best advertiser. He took the time to tell me he misses my plants, but follows my advice to grow his own now.

Well since church is a big thing there what if you approached parishioners that have teenagers that need a few bucks?
If these folks have equipment have the boys an girls go over there one day and help wipe it out.
We used to help all our neighbors up north when they needed a hand its just the neighborly thing to do you know kinda like throwin up a barn somebody git the lemonade!
Wish I was there Id lend a couple good hands to the cause BC...Way to go baby always thinkin about someone else...my kinda peeps

LOL, yesterday afternoon a 4' black racer was sunning itself on my porch steps. I would've stepped on the poor baby if I wasn't in the habit of always looking on the step before going out. The critter did a back flip to dive under the pump box. They are more afraid of me than I could ever be of them. And for good reason.

NEVER underestimate the power of a hug! Sometimes people with cancer feel like they have cooties and noone wants to touch them!
Besides, physical contact is vital even to monkeys!

I know your plate is full, but even a short 15-20 min visit can give the CG some time to take a short walk, sit in the sunshine and just BREATHE, or go in the garden and pull some weeds, or rake the leaves, all of which I'm sure is NOT a priority right now. Or even show up with some annuals like impatiens or such and TELL the CG to go outside and plant them while you visit! If you get called away, that's okay, too. Who better but another CG to understand!

OOPS! missed your post! Sounds like you should definitely get the church involved in the yardwork!!!!!

Well, around here peoples "yards" are more than an acre, sometimes 5 acres. Most people need at least to have paths to outbuildings (barns and sheds)and gardens. If you let your guard down during the spring, you quickly have ticks ,chiggars, all sorts af rodents, and any kind of snake right up to your door, then, in your house. If he is not able, this is very important.

My guess is $60/week to keep the rats back in the woods. Still , I think they have their own equipment. Maybe all we need is gas. I don't do well with weed wackers, but I handle riding mowers and small tracters. So I guess as time goes on, I need a weed wacker buddy, Weed eating could be every 2 weeks, but mowing here everyweek until it dries out. Church thing is big here. Many collect funds for community good works. If you donate time to take care of a neighbor in need, it might count as a donation to the church and therefore tax deductable. It takes a lot of time to get you above the standard deduction, but most folks around here get what help they need from churches and neighbors. The government doesn't throw it's hand out around here much.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Bobcat,

BC I do this all the time I have one neighbor right next door to me with MS I always assist her when she needs anything. Bringing groceries in assisting her into the house fixing things bringing the garbage cans in or out bringing snacks you name it. Mostly I take the time out to visit thats what they really need, human contact but the lawn idea is great.
But how about if you want to make a difference in this lady's life, what is a lawn job? $20 bucks every 2 weeks or so how about you round up the neighbors to pitch in a few bucks for it? One may even find the time to do it themselves?
The church thing I know nothing about never heard of it.