I need some advice. In a recent conversation with a friend I noticed signs of her having memory problems. Should I tell her husband or keep my nose out of it?

Then I'd say call as often as you can for awhile without it seeming odd. Then you'll have a chance to gauge whether it was a one-off or a recurring pattern.

Your advice sounds wise. The only problem is that we live in two different cities and don't see each other except at celebrations or times of bereavement, so the approach would have to be by phone, which doesn't exactly provide the ideal means of conversing in this way. I guess I'll just let it ride and see how things develop until a better opportunity arises. Hopefully I'm reading more into it than I should be. Having seen my mom's decline begin in just this way, it brought me up short, and if there's some way to start treatment early in the process, I'd like them to be aware of what I noticed. I'll wait and see in the meantime. Thanks, everyone, for your advice.

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Originally posted by dadcarer:
It's just so creepy that she would have forgotten that she traveled an hour in each direction to visit me right after mother died, and doesn't even remember that mother died.

Is there more than this Shari? Cause honestly I myself have been guilty of this little slip Iv actually traveled to someones house for a visit to go see them started walking up the stairs and it hit me they were gone.
I know pretty scary huh? I was actually in my 20's when this particular event occurred too.
Other instances where Iv actually called my mom after she passed away.
If there is more to this Shari barring what BC states (hormones medication stress lack of sleep) then this idea to approach either person should be at your discretion.
Would the husband be approachable on this matter, would he take it in stride or would he be angry at you?
As BC said if this is really noticeable chances are the husband sees it.
Ask him if he wants to talk if he looks bothered...let him come to you and let him be the one to open up to you.
You know how to redirect conversation gently if he does open up. Never say the words, allow him to if he opens up to you. He is probably afraid and I wouldnt doubt that she is also, people are quite aware of their own deficits Shari. Not everyone comes right out and says "Hey I think I have a problem" most times they do the ole "duck n cover" routine.

Thanks, for the advice. It's just so creepy that she would have forgotten that she traveled an hour in each direction to visit me right after mother died, and doesn't even remember that mother died.

Shari, you know these people and we don't, so it will have to be up to you. Are you close enough to them that this would be seen as caring or would they think you are butting in to their business.

There are many reasons why this might happen... Stress, lack of sleep, hormones, a reaction to medication, and of course, dementia. Chances are that if you noticed this, he has also.