I have been a little scarce around here lately. Maybe it is the moon, or the weather, but many of us seem to be scarce around here. Sometimes it just all seems repetitive, but I hope more will chime in here to give an update about their LOs and themselves.

Me, well I'm feeling a little worthless at the moment. I have been staying with Mom less, her most educated and experienced CG has wanted to work more, and frankly, she is better than me at a lot of things, bathing, for one, spotting trouble early for another (since she has seen so much of this before). I have been visiting almost every day to have some quality time and hear everyone's reports in person. We are having to make a lot of adaptations in her schedule and diet now, so to and from the store and back to the kitchen to make small changes in recipes, add more options.

I'll be staying with her tonight and taking her to the doctor tomorrow. Her eating habits have really changed, not her good appetite anymore. Way more sleeping. She no longer seems to think it is worth the effort to be clean. She has lost 10 lbs in the last 3 months, 5 of those in the last month alone. She looks thin, but not critically so...5 ft tall (these days) still 115 lbs. When you have her attention, her responses are appropriate and she still has some humor when she has the energy. She is less involved with her ADLs, she would stay in her recliner and never get up if that was acceptable (of course it is not).

Several possibilities come to mind...her teeth being one (last cleaning in Feb, I know she has several that are loose, but Dentist doesn't want to pull them unless they cause her pain at this stage), arthritis pain being another (she claims she is not in pain but watching her face when she is moving on her feet tells another story), her vision may have slid another step or two. Lab work was good in late January, but that was then.

Then again, she could be getting ready to say goodbye. I just can't let the changes go unaddressed with the Doc, though. Maybe in spite of the risk, putting her back on Celebrix would improve her quality of life. I haven't told Mom she has an appt yet. Not gonna give her a chance to figure out how to refuse to go.
I hope to have more info tomorrow night.

Now please, all of you who haven't posted much in a while, add your update. You are family here, we care.

Dear BC,
I know how grateful I am for the RN and aide that visit mom. It just eases your mind to have that kind of medical back-up. My RN has had so much experience and we go over so many things together.

I am so relieved you have that kind of help to share the burden.

Hang in there!

Hi everyone, I am back after a 44 hour shift at Mom's at least for the moment. I get home looking forward to a shower and some 'puter catch up and the power goes out. Some of you know that I live in the country and have a well so (silly me never got a generator to run the whole system) no power no pump no water.

Fortunately it is now fixed and I am clean and back at playing catch up. My darlin' H lent me his "mini-me" (ACER)to have at Mom's but it is not real user friendly. Plus she needs attention every 2 hours 24/7 so you nap when you can.

I will probably arrange the schedule so that I am with her 2 24 hour shifts and an 8 hour plus some visits..each week. Shoot, who am I kidding ,,,I will probably move in before long and just visit my own home. Bless the kitties (and H) for their independent streak.

I am truly thankful for this Hospice group. A CNA comes in 2x/week and an RN does the same. Today the RN gave Mom an enema to relieve a "high impaction". I had pin pointed a source of Mom's pain as being upper left abdomen and she checked it out and dealt with it.. Mom is much more comfortable after passing a . She even smiled and ate some pudding.

It has been said before and I want to repeat this!!!!! A painful impaction can occur even when out LOs continue to move their bowels. A lot of soft fecal matter can flow around it. There was a major change in her eating habits recently so I had wondered. With some luck my bro can have a nice visit with her tomorrow, some smiles, squeeze hands. Maybe she will look at him and he will know she sees him.

Looking back, when I had walked so far down the road with Mom, the last year found me the least willing to put up with bureaucratic bullsh*t, doubletalkin' fools and health care pros who thought everything should revolve around THEIR busy schedules! I think that's what people mean by being on their last nerve... I remember telling people that I USED to be a nice person, but I used it all up too early in the game! Each inanity may be only ONE occurrence to the person spouting it, but I was well over my lifetime dosage!

What meant a lot to me at that time was to take in all of the small, quiet pleasures that I could - things to feed the soul and cherish.

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Thank you all so much. I am not feeling "exactly" victorious right now, but I am feeling like I will actually sleep well. I do know that with out your support and friendship and guidance I would have caved in. You are my cheering squad, my backbone, and help me organize my thoughts when I want to blow a gasket, but must behave for the higher purpose (that is a little special thanks to MB, who challanged me to get a grip).

Mother has had far better care and advocacy because of all you share with anyone who really wants to know. This journey isn't over. I hope like you all do that this will allow us to make better use of this time we have.

Thank you again from the bottom of my heart.

quote:

I am so honored to know there's another one who is willing to walk that last little bit to make sure a loved one arrives Home safely.

***typing with a giant lump in my throat***

Sometimes, you folks are so supremely special, I find myself at a loss for words - not only because of what you all have done and/or are doing, but the way you reach out to one another when the going gets tough. I feel so privileged to have become acquainted with y'all!!
{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

Hugs to you my dear friend. It's been a hard journey to get to this point, but perhaps knowing that you now have more support just a phone call away will help you to relax and enjoy your time with Mom more. Instead of always being "The Caregiver" first, you can spend more time as "Daughter/Friend". I am so honored to know there's another one who is willing to walk that last little bit to make sure a loved one arrives Home safely.

BC, my brave and determined friend, you have absolutely, positively, without a doubt set an example to ALL caregivers who may need to fight this fight for a LO!

Your VICTORY is ours as well, as we learn from each other as TRULY CARING CAREGIVERS! BRAVO!!!

So glad for your mom too. She can rest easily and not fear the invasion of her natural destiny as she has asked!

To Everyone of my Friends here....I have posted on the anger wall about a lot of the difficulties of the past few weeks. Some of you have problems with the yellow type even reading, much less typing, so I thought now that the "anger" seems to be under control, I would update here.

Mom has recently been in the hospital. She had an elevated WBC count and was a little dehydrated. While she was there we were able to document her weight loss, the swallowing difficulties, have her pessary removed, and get her evaluated to see if she was at an appropriate stage for hospice.

She came home Friday night, Hospice came in Saturday AM and all the papers are now signed, i's dotted, t's crossed. It is not easy to face this point, but, come what may, she is likely to end her days in her home rather than some strange place, and we will have help seeing to her comfort.

I believe this is a good thing, right and natural. She isn't afraid now. She may even perk up a bit now that I can reassure her that the nurse and doc wil come to her.

Thanks, MB, Bev, DOCHKA. I know you and everyone of my friends here are going to be around for me as I need you. I cannot "know" but I think this will take a while. No one is going to rush my Mom, she will take her own sweet time to get where she is going.

DOCHKA, thanks for bumping up the post about beating the blues.
http://eldercare.infopop.cc/ev...6034151/m/4941085945
I am going to print that off and tape it to the fridge. Another copy will stay with me. Another copy at Mom's for the Team. The ladies are being great, but they are showing the stress too. They really do care about her and are doing all they can.

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Hang in there, BC. This is truly tough stuff. Not sure they make pills for that! Toward the end of Mom's journey, I found it hard to post sometimes because I didn't have anything good to say, but you all kept me whole and sane anyway - even when I didn't feel that way! I hope you know that we're all right here for you, too! {{{{HUGS}}}}

Oh honey...I am so sorry that your mom is continuing to go down. It is so so hard to watch, I'm sure. She is a very blessed woman to have so many people around her that care for her and love her and are trying to make this time as comfortable as possible for her.

I will keep you, your mom, and all her caregivers in my prayers.....

OK! #1 RULE OF CAREGIVING:

TAKE CARE OF THE CAREGIVER.

PLEASE TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS OF DEPRESSION AND WHETHER SHE SHOULD PRESCRIBE AN ANTIDEPRESSANT.*

*my guess is that if you are mentioning it, than you may very well need it. You are going through a VERY difficult transition with Mom.

Sadly, I have no good news to report. The hawk didn't make it. Dora said he was too malnourished to eat (probably why he was in the road after road kill). I think there is plenty of food around for them, but maybe something happened to his parents before he learned how to hunt.

About Mom?, well her mobility is getting worse every day inspite of PT. So is her eating. Home health recommended I get set up with a doc that makes house calls and gave me the #.

I called her hair dresser and cancelled Mom's appointment indefinetly. Those who know me here know that was a very big concession. The wonderful lady has offered to come by to trim Mom's hair and give some advice on the matter. (She has 'done' Mom's hair for almost 30 years).

We are entering the era of pureed food and rotating her from side to side in bed. Hours in her recliner are becoming fewer. Maybe she will rally again, but my hopes of getting her out on the porch to watch me plant her pansies are seeming a bit unrealistic.

So it goes. This is so different from Daddy's way of leaving. She is very aware. Yesterday she grabbed the hand of the CG on duty and said, " You need to go back to school and be a nurse." It is so true. I hope I can help that happen. I might be the next one on antidepressants. My friend seems to be doing well with hers.

Really DOCHKA, not quite. I was never more than 20 feet from my car and I never left the pavement I did have to warn a few overly interested passersby to "Stand back".

There was a skunk road kill further up the road. Maybe that was what knocked the poor thing for a loop. I had some laundry (with vinegar) to do when I got home.

WOW! Just like Marlin Perkins on Mutual Of Omaha's Wild Kingdom!

Today there was a hawk on the side of the road. It looked stunned. I got in touch with a licensed wildlife rehabilitater who gave me safe capture instructions. It is now in proper hands.

She thinks it is a young sharp shinned hawk and it didn't seem badly injured. It is her opinion that it should be released into the same area, so if it recovers she will be in touch so I can show her where I found it.

I hope it is going to be alright. It will feel really good if I actually helped the bird. What a gorgeous creature!!! Alternative, is a coopers hawk. I wanted to take a picture, but cars started to back up, getting the bird out of there was much more important. If it does well, maybe I can get a picture to share before it is released.

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Yep, letting them still be Mom (or Dad) over what ever they can be helps alot with moral, so I do let her in on a few things where she can be Mom, but not worried about it. Being insulated is a lot like being isolated. There is a fine line there.

I told her that H would be close if I needed him and I wouldn't be late. She says "See that you do that and call if you need me". She was actually perked up a bit today, made it to her hair appointment and ate french fries. Unfortunately when we got home I found about 1/2 the fries hidden in her cheek. I keep telling her that there is plenty of food, She really doesn't need to be saving any for later. Next timeshe is hungry, she can have fresh food. I know she can't help it, I must stop letting her eat while I am driving at the same time.

I had to laugh, get this!!! I told her I was going to the doctor for a routine check up and she thought she should come with me . Just to make sure .... THAT from a woman who thinks "doctor" is a 4 letter word and "hospital" is even worse(2 4 letter words in one).

Oh, you just gotta love mothers! Even when you want to pinch each others heads off, they want to make sure their little girls are OK.

Thanks, Bev, I am feeling better. No one is letting me lift anything with any weight to it. I just might milk this a while.

Great job on the party. What is the problem with the sibs? Did they get the idea that they were clueless?

Slop jar? Darn, at least she didn't pee in the corner. I hope someone has a better idea, but all I can think of is to escort her to the bathroom regularly and hope to catch her at the right time. As far as depends (or pull ups) go, try telling her everything else is in the laundry so that is it. Then again tonight, then again tomorrow, one time at a time. yep, you will most likely be telling her the samething for a long time. Just be calm, very matter of fact. "Put these on until I get the others washed and dried". I hope that works.

Thanks for the prayer, I really do feel better today.