I guess because of the stress on me, this is the best room for the telling of this story. It is not funny enough for "laugh" nor am I angry enough for the yellow type of the "wall". Still there is humor in this maddening event.

I have tried to work with Mom's youngest CG (she has been with Mom almost 3 years) about a 10 month old pup she adopted. She wanted o bring it with her to work, and pets are good, and Mom likes small dogs.

Since the dog is young and being carted to and fro, and elder care demands undevided attention at times, I worked with her for a day and a half about crate training. Even provided the crate. Explained ad nauseum about choking hazards that exist, when little things are on the floor. Told her she must crate the pup, any time she was busy with Mom, or other wise couldn't keep an eye on her. Well she lapsed a bit, and I found poop, and a chewed up clothes pin, Got after her again about how important this was, and whether she could bring the pup or not would depend upon her following my order that she crate the pup when , etc.

She did this for a while, and then took it upon herself to decide the pup could be trusted for the little time it took to help Mom to the pot. WRONG. 30 seconds, and the pup jumped on the table and took off with one of Mom's hearing aids. $$$$$$.

The thing is, this brought to light to ME, how much I HAD DROPPED the ball on the hearing issue. Before I came into full time Mamma care, SIL and BRO Had taken her for hearing aids. Had her ears cleaned, etc. She was still able to be on her own for most of the time then, With some one checking up, doing meal preps, and all shopping. I didn't really put myself in that loop when I became Captain, Team MAMMA. All the team did fine communicating with her.

So we go to the hearing aid place and he looks in her ears, they are so clogged he can't do the hearing test. He tries to clean them, and she screams at him, so then we get an appointment with an ENT, (EAR, NOSE& THROAT) doc. He can clear one ear, but not the other, without eardrops to soften the wax for a week. At least. Then if he can get it out, it is back to the hearing aid guy. He will do the hearing test and refit her. $$$$$$

It hurt her. When she screamed at the hearing aid guy, she said, "I am 92, do you think this is worth it??" And looked at me an said "can we afford it?".

It is a rare and fortunate circumstance, that between my Bro and me and the way Dad left her fixed up, that we can. But this ear cleaning thing, Boy did I drop the ball. The ENT was afraid to do any more because of the bleeding that might result from her bloodthinner(very slight risk, but too much for him, and I thank him).

Still it was funny, to see these medical pros back up to the wall when this little woman yelled at them. And was seriously to the point, not confused at all. "Is it worth it?"

Then it was in my lap. "What ever time you got left, Mom, since we cannot know the number of our days, Do you want to live it in silence??"

She said we would do it, what ever it took, as long as she could squeeze my hand while it happened.

Please all, don't let it get to this point. (Little dog didn't cause this.)

CG is not off the hook, but I am not either.

I know my hearing isn't what it once was.

But after concerts all my life, and seeing AC/DC from the 5th row, what can I expect. My ears rang for 2 days after that one!

Needless to say, I've been to none in the past 6 years, and I feel it should stay that way. I'm sure my hearing will be much worse than Mom's later on, lol.

bnot, I won't kid you, it can be a huge hunk of change sometimes. And the ones Mom needs are behind the ear. She has little vanity left, but if she did she would hate these things on that alone. She cannot handle them by herself.

Still it is a treat to watch her suddenly respond to the song of a bird, or be able to hear her granddaughter. Hopefully your Mom's will not be so severe. It is a love/hate relationship.

Cruise the phone book for providers in your area, and be prepared to take her to an ENT to have her ears cleaned if it hasn't been done lately. I hope you can find the right provider for her in your area.

Fortunately she has enough of her own teeth that there aren't any sitting around. If she loses another one, that may change.

Maybe if the aids she has aren't too old, she can have one replaced. I lean in close to Mom and talk as if we are sharing a secret, but using a normal volume, when her aids aren't in. She hates being yelled at.

I have no inheritance. When Mom is done with it, maybe then I will, but not now, Anything Dad left to Bro and me is in trust for her. It is great. I hope she lives long enough to spend it all.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Bobcat,

I'm new to the board, and glad to see my Mom isn't the only one who had a dog devour a hearing aid!

I saved that link and will check it out. I told her today, to lets take my inheritance she wanted to leave me and buy her some that work right. I meant it too.

I hate feeling like I'm hollering at her, just so she can hear me with one hearing aid. I am new to caregiving, and just got Mom here with me Dec 29th.

Blue and T.O.R.P. if you "kids" are only fifty, what can I say? Protect your childhood. Grab what you can. Make them chip in.

TORP, I have read about those high pitched ring tones, just forgot that I had read it .

Thanks for making me feel better about the hearing....it just makes me wonder what else those kids are hearing subliminally that we don't.

You're about my age, Blue. I guess our mothers were right when they warned us about playing that rock and roll music so loudly. (hee hee) I've got a partial hearing loss in one ear as well, but it has a known cause from a chronic ear infection when I was expecting my youngest child. They couldn't give me the "good" drugs when I was pregnant.

Seriously, though, teenagers can hear the higher pitched sounds that we can't. In fact, it's a problem at my daughter's high school. The kids are putting this special high pitched ring tone on their cell phones so that they can hear the phone ring, but the teachers can't hear it. The ringer was specifically designed for this purpose. (Phones are supposed to be OFF during school hours.)

Snowy, it's good you said something about the hearing aids. I have noticed the last month that my hearing is getting worse and worse. I am 50, to me, that is just too young to start with the hearing aids. I dont know what else to do, my grandson was with me on a particularly hot day a few weeks ago, we were in and out of the car, the AC was blowing on high all day, as a result it started to make a high pitched sqealing noise....my grandson started to fiddle with the vents and became extremely aggitated, saying "stop!" "this noise is driving me crazy, it is hurting my ears"....I asked him what??
I never heard that sound, at one time, I would have been saying the same things. It is bothering me that I did not hear that. I have noticed since then, that I am having to ask others to please repeat, on the 2nd or 3rd request, I just quit asking out of embarassment. i can't believe this has happened to me. Oh well, I guess this is another challenge I will face on the road to ageing. Criminy!!!!!!!!!!!

I too wear hearing aides & they can be a royal pain in the rear.
Sometimes i refuse to wear them as the noises drive me bonkers even though i can adjust the sound.Not worth it to me at times.Yes I have dementia but that's besides the point,lol........

bob. congratulations on your mom's new connection with the world. awesome.i still get angry with daisy's one son who complains about the cost of getting mom's ears cleaned. i wish he could be deaf for a week and see how lonely a world it is without sound. especially hearing himself! it will take her and a few adjustments to get things just right but modern technology can be such a blessing. it souns like you got the star wars edition may the force be with her

OK, new EARS for Mom. Very different, high power, behind the ear, volume adjustable, directional microphone, and I don't know what all else. Wild, to watch her hear things she has not heard in so long. LOL She put her glass down in the coaster and heard it "clink". Picked it up and put it down twice more, making a face each time. She is alarmed at the sound of her own voice. I can't know how her voice sounds to her. I tell her it is normal to me, and if it sounds wrong to her, it will take some getting used to, that's all. But she will start to say something, or laugh, and stop short and make a face.

She is clearly hearing things hidden before. The TV no longer runs me from the room. But she can't handle them alone, in or out, so each CG is going to need a real lesson in handling them with her.

I think this will add real quality to her life once the adjustments is made, but oh, bother, for today it was weird.

this is what she got
http://www.audibel.com/product/virtue12.html

Some of that is babble to me (well, a LOT is babble to me) I only heard of nano stuff on startrek or stargate sg1

Bummer. We chose to spend more as well, for the same reasons. We try to make as few changes in the professionals she deals with as possible; she's more cooperative in familiar environments with familiar people.

We changed her eye doctor and dentist, using the one our family uses. These were good choices for us and for her, but not as big a deal when she's answering "I don't know" to everything. The eye doctor can get a good prescription using his equipment without her cooperation. The dentist can do his work without her input. But the audiologist ... she HAS to be somewhat engaged. (She's got a total crush on our dentist now. He's so much better with elders than the one she was using.)

Thanks T.O.R.P., We won't get off that easy. Partly because I am sticking with her regular place. They are full service, and complete warrenty for 2 years. They had her previous records.

I'll let you all know tomorrow how it went. They are very different from her last set.

DG, we will have to start another thread about vision care, those guys make me so angry at times.

Shop around. I'm sure that we didn't pay more than $3000 for top of the line, digital, programmable (with the directional microphone). We could have gone cheaper if we'd gone to Costco or Sam's Club (not all branches have this service, though), but decided to use her regular place.

Digital is great. Think long and hard about the directional and programmable, though. Since our LO lost hers because she had them wadded up in a tissue -- she would take them out to talk on the phone because they whistled -- we went programmable so that she could push a button and shut them off. She never did master using that button properly, or would accidently shut them off just fiddling with them. We finally took them back and had him program all three "modes" to regular default mode, and bypass the directional mike and telephone mode.

EDIT: You don't have to buy the membership to use the Sam's or Costco pharmacy, or vision or hearing centers.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Bobcat:
The eye doctors just haven't done squat for her in years, 5 years running they said the same thing. can't do squat. Come back in six months.

Here are my thoughts on vision also. Mom has mac. degeneration. Her opthomologist thought she would be a good candidate for a very new treatment. Bottom line was it may or may not work. She would have to go once or twice a week to the city (an hour if no traffic) for SHOTS in her eyes. We'll the hour there and back would be more than she could handle -- could you imagine shots too? We decided she can manage quite well as is.

Thanks DG, I may see if we need to, or can do more, to protect this link she has to the world. The eye doctors just haven't done squat for her in years, 5 years running they said the same thing. can't do squat. Come back in six months.

Don't give up if you or your LO has vision problems. Mom has many problems, putting vision on the back burner. Do I like having to make choices , do I take her for hearing help or vision help?? I honestly believe that vision help for her is a waste of time. They love to have her sit in the waiting room an hour or more to do notjing for her.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Bobcat:
it seems she has unusually small ear canals which contribute to this problem. So now annual ENT cleanings will be part of her regemine.

My mom has exquisite hearing!!! I should be so lucky, but also has small ear canals. We have to go every three months for an ear wax cleaning and HUGE chunks come out. I should maybe go even more often but it's hard on her.

The end of this little drama is almost in sight. After two trips to the ENT, the hearing test could be done, the patient young woman performing this test would let me make sure Mom knew what each phase of testing was for and how she was to answer, yes-no, repeat the word, Better- worse, etc. That was the first digital hearing test I had observed, and I was impressed. Mom showed the ability it took to fully cooperate.

Unfortunately, the first set of molds were not sufficient. One ear still had too much wax for a deep enough impression, so it was back to ear drops, another trip to the ENT, it seems she has unusually small ear canals which contribute to this problem. So now annual ENT cleanings will be part of her regemine.

The new hearing aids are ready, and we have an appointment for Monday. They are a different design that will require adjustments for all of us. They go into, then over and behind the ear. There will be a volume control in the behind the ear part. Her arthritic shoulders are not going to allow her to adjust this herself, so we (all her CGs) are going to have to learn this. The controls have numbers, so maybe it will come to a list of which number for which activity.

I just hope we can make it. She had a fall Friday AM,(a seperate post while I scream) so though, without real serious damage, she may be too sore to go through with this appointment. I think she will make it, after all, she was mad as a wet hen because I canceled her hair appointment Fri. to observe her, but she went today.

This may not make good sense, but if she doesn't feel like getting her hair done, she is in a state of emergency intervention. That is my mark, of how she truely feels. Her first question when I told her yesterday that I wasn't taking her was, "Can she see me on Saturday?"

Well if she can get her hair done, (and she did) she can go get her new ears.

I'll let you all know. I will post seperately about this fall as soon as I gather my thoughts.

BC,

My h bought my mil a hearing aide, cost around 2000.00 and she wore it for a while when the grandkids or her other child was around, never around us...imagine, i'm sure you can, the ability to hear the tv outside on the street as you are driving to the house...she refused to wear it after a year or so and it sat in a box. i will keep it for h since he was with her every day with the tv volume all the way up.

Good luck

one more point on this. i might have covered it but i just want to emphasize. besides the costs of these items, these are very difficult test to get a loved one to respond to. can you imagine how hard it would be to get a lo one to set through the sets necessary to get molds taken for new dentures? regular teeth maintenance is hard enough. ears are hard under the best of conditions. sometimes they just can't understand to answer the questions to get accurate results for eyesight and hearing. i know that all the caregivers at home know this but it is not unreasonable to ask this same care in a nh. these are not just personal items but medical necessities and should be treated as such. dentures should be soaked overnight and the mouth should be swabbed for foreign particles before they are replaced in mouth to avoid sore spots. glasses should not be cleaned with paper towels or kleenex, soft cotton or glass wipes only. paper can scratch lenses. don't be afraid to do a pop inspection of dentures when you are visiting, you can think of a reason to look. anyway, these are just suggestions. dentures are very fragile so i do know that sometimes cg. in nursing homes are rushed and neglect to put a washcloth in the sink when cleaning. it only takes one slip and they are damaged and mysteriouly disappear. enough for now.