I read thru a few posts, and hope I'm not echoing any current discussion, or being too lengthy, but I am ready to lose my mind.
I have been taking care of my widowed mother for 6 years. Last year she developed serious colitis, and has been hospitalized 4 times, and been under the care of many specialists; had every test; and has been on medication thru every protocol. She lives next door to me, and running next door has never been a problem, even tho I work, until recently.
Her colitis has gotten so bad in the past few months that she is up from midnight to about 4:00 a.m. EVERY night. The past week has been a total nightmare, even with all the standard precautions. Diapers just don't "get it", nor does the plastic all over the floor and up the walls. This morning when I got over there she was hysterical about the unbelievable mess. It took me almost an hour and a half to clean up, and by then my blood pressure was 194/86. She refuses to discuss nursing home, and I don't know it that would even work out, considering she has no control over her bowels. How can I begin to deal with being up almost all night every night, and still work. I'm almost 64, and have a bunch of medical problems myself. I am one step away from a heart attack right now, and my own husband has had 3 heart attacks, and cannot really help, plus no other family here in town. HELP HELP HELP

Tell me about it. Soy is in everything! Author of the Thyroid Diet, Mary Shomon, can tell you ALOT about the negative effects of soy. We are being pushed into in every which way, and the effects of estrogen are very harmful from what she has shown. ALmost every female relative on my mother's side - including my only sister - have all had breast cancer. I have a tumor in mine that I am supposed to monitor - and I DO NOT want to consume soy. Thanks for the tip about the tuna...I'll be looking more carefully.

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Another very common allergy is soy, which is added to so many foods these days.

Like water packed tuna, of all things!! It has water and "vegetable (soy) broth"... I was so peeved when I discovered that!! I can only find ONE store in our area that has water packed tuna with NO freakin' veggie broth. And of course, it's the most expensive can... It's also the ONLY tuna I have purchased in the past 5 years that remotely resembles what canned tuna USED TO look like...

They sneak that into EVERYTHING and not only is it a common allergan, soy also has an effect on the uptake of thyroid hormones... Don't fall for the soy hype, folks! It's NOT "all that"!!!

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Originally posted by Moms_Buddy:

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Honestly, what helped was to change his diet

Lactose intolerance is more common in elderly folks than is commonly realized and causes a lot of various GI problems.

So are food allergies. My mother has had IBS since she was a teenager. She's always had a "sensitive stomach." Well, about ten years ago (when she was in her 60s) she went to her PCP complaining of several things. He said, "You are depressed." She didn't feel depressed. (You'd have to know my mom. She's the least depressed person you'll ever meet.) But she filled the prescription, took it a couple of days, hated the side effects, and didn't take it. It was unsettling to her emotionally, though.

Coincidentally, that same week she had an appointment with her allergist and mentioned the PCP's diagnosis. The allergist said, "Have we ever tested you for a milk allergy?" Mom says, "I CAN'T be allergic to milk! I was raised on a dairy farm!" They did the test, and guess what ... milk allergy.

Not only did her "depression" (actually aches and tiredness) go away, so did her lifelong IBS.

Another very common allergy is soy, which is added to so many foods these days. Soy is actually a more common allergen than milk. The thing about food allergies is that they don't necessarily cause the same symptoms that other allergies do: stuffy head, rashes, etc.

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Honestly, what helped was to change his diet

That is something so OFTEN ignored... along with when (what time of their day) someone is eating, etc. These things are highly individual and folks have to be creative in finding ways that work for them...

Lactose intolerance is more common in elderly folks than is commonly realized and causes a lot of various GI problems.

Probiotics didn't help my husband at all. Honestly, what helped was to change his diet. No one thing was the "magic bullet" for his abdominal pain, etc. But the combination of a number of things have made a huge difference.

He'd had the scopes and all that as well. He went two years not sleeping at night because of abdominal pain. We just had to keep trying different things, and every time we found something that helped a little we kept doing that and trying additional new things until the aggregate was that he is again comfortable.

1. We eliminated milk products except low fat lactose-free milk and a yogurt smoothie every day. (The yogurt doesn't seem to bother him, and he needs the calcium.) HUGE difference right away.

2. We found that splenda was bothering him, so changed back to putting real sugar in his coffee.

3. He eats a very low fat diet, and eats smaller more frequent meals instead of the fast then binge way he ate before. (You know, coffee for breakfast, fast food at his desk in the afternoon, then come home ravenous and eat a huge dinner late evening.)

He can cheat a bit more now, but eating a high fat meal or cheese in particular really makes him pay for a couple of days. Splenda still gives him abdominal cramps.

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prednisone

Take a look at the side effects of prednisone...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prednisone

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Side-effects

Short-term side-effects, as with all glucocorticoids, include high blood glucose levels, especially in patients that already have diabetes mellitus or are on other medications that increase blood glucose (such as tacrolimus), and mineralocorticoid effects such as fluid retention (although it is worth noting, however, that the mineralocorticoid effects of prednisone are very minor; this is why it is not used in the management of adrenal insufficiency unless a more potent mineralocorticoid is administered concomitantly). Additional short-term side-effects include insomnia, euphoria, and, rarely, mania. Long-term side-effects include Cushing's syndrome, weight gain, osteoporosis, glaucoma, type II diabetes mellitus, and depression upon withdrawal.

Major

* increased blood sugar for diabetics
* weight gain
* facial swelling
* depression, mania, or other psychiatric symptoms
* unusual fatigue or weakness
* mental confusion / indecisiveness
* blurred vision
* abdominal pain
* peptic ulcer
* infections
* painful hips or shoulders
* osteoporosis
* insomnia
* severe joint pain
* cataracts
* osteonecrosis
* anxiety
* black stool
* stomach pain or bloating
* severe swelling
* mouth sores or dry mouth

Minor

* stretch marks
* nervousness
* acne
* rash
* increased appetite
* hyperactivity
* frequent urination
* diarrhea
* removes intestinal flora

Those last two I bolded might be significant in your mother's case...

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Barb, never yet have I seen any doc admit that probiotics are of real use.

Yeah, well, those aren't by prescription AND there's no drug company perks for prescribing them... They do help a lot of people but are ignored by conventional medicine because of conventional thinking and pharmogreed. Let's just prescribe another handfull of pills if the first fistful doesn't work... then we'll treat you for the side effects from the first batch we gave ya... cha-ching!!!

Barb, never yet have I seen any doc admit that probiotics are of real use. Maybe they ar (my own niece is now a registered dietician ). Absolutely nuts IMHO. I know of 4 people personally that endeed up having Bowel Surgery after a round of antibiotics after a simple upper respiratory infection.}

My own Mom was on prednisone therapy after a life threatening liver inflamation that "seemed" to be caused by some med or other (she never consumed anything not prescribed, EVER).

The very last thing I would ever want to do is suggest anything other than what you would run by the Doc. Sometimes I would rather just shoot my foot as talk to the idiot that wants o tell me what is best for Mom.

Wheew. A bad couple of days. I hate mood swings. I was feeling a bit upbeat, but not today.
I can get mom to drink DanActive but that's about it. We've tried all the brands of yogurt, and she simply hates them. There are some good pro-biotic capsules at a good health food store here, but she refuses to take capsules.
When dad was sick one time with a c-diff infection that he picked up from the hospital, he was on that antibiotic that costs $3.00 a pill; can't think of the name of it. No stores carried it, and a courier brought a supply to the house a couple of times. But the doctor said he HAD to take a probiotic with it. Vancomycin maybe......
She's not on antibiotics now....but IS on that prednisone therapy. Does that make the bad bacteria flourish? I'm thinking it doesn't as they didn't tell me to make sure she is on probiotics.
She's just very stuborn. And if she doesn't like something, no matter how good it is for her, noway. Her favorite word ~ "noway".
Oh dear, my dog has to go outside. Today, I wish I had one of those doggy doors I'm so tired.... (wah, wah....)

Sorry Barb MB is so right I did not mean to make light of this situation at all I know how hard it is doing this job with no help and for you its all the more complicated with your own health issues as well as your hunny's
My aunt would always say find something to laugh at once a day its good for the soul not to mention the mind.
I take that with me in my everyday life, I try to make light of a bad situation like when someone happens to pop somethin god forbid they feel embarrassed Iv seen enough of it that it doesnt phase me at all, my focus has been and always will be to make a person laugh so they dont feel the weight of the world on them.
They got enough on their plates as it is

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* * * Question is not what is wrong with HER, and while we're working on it diligently, we are dying while being up with her most of the night, and trying to work everyday. And try to have a tiny bit of a life.
That's what I wanted to talk about. * * *

Barbara, sometimes it gets VERY tough when people are up all night for one reason or another, then you have to be up all day... I HOPE that you will keep a keen eye on your (and hubby's) stress level and don't wait to get extra help until you are ready to fall out!! A few nights walking the floor with a kid at age 25 or 30 is one thing... Dealing with an elder with serious health issues night after night is QUITE another... It's something that can wear someone down very quickly!!

I don't know if your mom is lactose intolerant, but if she is not, can she eat that Activia yogurt or drink DanActive? Those are WONDERFUL for intestinal stuff if a person can tolerate milk products...

Good luck and despite all the ummmm...POTTY humour... I think I can speak for most everyone in saying we DO totally sympathize and understand what you are going through... I hope that some of the ideas will help and that at least thing'll slow down so that you can get some uninterrupted and much deserved rest SOON.

Pffft Mae thats EXACTLY what happened! Can I say I gotta great catchers mitt....my bare dang hand
Who I wonder thought it was a great idea to feed em beans?! Blasted non thinkin dang nutjobs!

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I would rather clean cacas then to have to clean up their vomit

If it ain't one thing, it's another, eh, Mae?
I'm not sure I'd wanna even KNOW what the multiple choices COULD be on a nurse's questionnaire asking "Which kind of nasty mess would you prefer to clean up?"

Ummmm, peanut butter? Oh heck, that choice wasn't on there...

Barbara, when you are stressed and over whelmed you have every right to exprpress these feeling.There has to be time when it is all about you.
Bunnys grl, My husband wore the one piece colostomy bag .It was attched around the stoma.It was the only one we could use.It was no problem unless it would brak or my husband would accidently pull it off.They have so many things to help make the wearing of the bag easier.My hubby had quite a few accidents in public when the seal or clip would work its self loose.You still have to watch your diet when wearing one.Gasie foods will make the bag blow up like a balloon.Too much liquid in the diet will make the stool runny and possible have seipege.My husband was very good at taking care of it until he became bed ridden.
They recommend you irrigate but my hubby never did as it gave him the runs.When he wanted to clean it out he would sit on the toilet, Undo the clip at the bottom and have a plastic bottle filled with water to pout into the poch and let it go to the toilet.This was not possible when he became bed ridden.I.Because it has such a strong odor I would put odorban in the toilet before putting the bag in.I would let it soak and then rinse it out and throw it away HAD TO CLEAN THE BAG IN THE TOILET AS WE ARE NOT PERMITTED TO THROUGH THE WASTE IN THE TRASH.I would spray bleach in the plastic bag I put it in as to not have maggets.
I had a couple of aides who would gag so bad when attempting to change the bag.I did it for them as I would rather clean cacas then to have to clean up their vomit.

Baby there MIGHT just come a day when you wish diarrhea was your only problem
Sometimes we can control that...well somewhat
It may sound horrible but by the time your through you'll be doin this stuff blindfolded an catching things without a second thought...ARG that was me today...did I say colostomy's were easy as pie? I lied
I shoulda been a catcher for the Yankees or somethin at least Id get paid well to catch that cr*p

Oh GOODNESS, bunnys_grl.....that's another whole world I haven't much experience with!!
I just can't imagine. I am learning that diahhrea (and I never can remember how to spell the darn word) is not the worst problem out there!!

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I'm just too wrapped up in ME. Maybe that's part of my problem.

That's not the problem at all. You are the one that has to deal with it, but it sure helps a whole lot to have this nice bunch to share things with!

Sweetie most of us have been or are walking in your shoes a little "me" rant is perfectly fine hell Iv had my own dam meltdowns from time to time I share them so folks dont think Im all perfect LMAO!
Honey I still sit here on some days jaw dropped to the floor goin "Huh"?!
Now Im in the business of home health, MIL is in a Board and Care facility and I got a whole nother set of "Huh" issues
look out meltdown in 5.5 seconds!
Now I gotta school someone in the fine art of dealin with an altered person who HATES when folks write on her alleged $50 skivvies...
Can you imagine if someone took a sharpie to a $50 pair of yours?!
Man Id hit the ceilin!
Halfway thru the "F" word was gettin a whole lotta use *not by me* an my poor lil MIL was cowerin under the covers!
I shut the door an sat this CG down so fast...ya know some folks really oughtta stay home an....well ya knowaddimean

I also need to look at OTHER PEOPLE's inquiries, and "get out of myself" some.

Gotta check other posts; you people here are soooo nice. I'm just too wrapped up in ME. Maybe that's part of my problem.

Those of us who experienced a time when we had no help with our loved ones can relate to what Barbara is feeling.It is overqwhelming physically and emotionally.We feel backed into a corner with no where to turn.What are people to do who want to care for their loved ones but need time and help?There are so few places you can go to ask for volunteers to give you a break.
Posting a request at a senior center or church nmay give the help one needs,Those in the best of healt , desperately need a break.One with serious health issues even more.