I am having one of those days where my depression is overwhelming me. It is probably the stress of the holidays, but at least I am off work until January 2.

My sister came today as she had a gift for my Mom. She also had a small gift for me. It was a picture of our Mother and Dad and Dad was actually smiling in the picture. He always smiled in pictures with my step-mom but I had never seen one of him smiling with Mother. It is a terrific picture. She was here for only an hour as she is very uncomfortable around step-mom. She had just gotten back from spending a week in Portland for our Aunt and Uncles 50th anniversary party. I didn't even know about it. It was a mini family reunion as an Aunt and Uncle from Wisconsin came out for it. I aguess I am feeling sorry for myself because I wasn't even included. I never hear from these people since Dad died. They couldn't even be bothered to come to his funeral. It upsets me, because I had to deal with this when my Mother died when I was 8 and her family quit including me in anything, now I haave to do this with Dad's family. I have tried reaching out to them but they are civil but that is about it. Now again, I have to realize that my only family are my kids and hubby and Mom and once she is gone I won't have anyone from my side of the family. My brothers don't call because they are afraid that I am going to ask them for help. But it would be nice if they cared how any of us were doing. But I know as soon as Mom is gone they are going to be here in a heartbeat with their hands out wanting their share of the estate and then some. Kinda of like the Little Red Hen story of the Hen does all the work and they want their share.

Mom is doing pretty good at the moment. The Risperdal has been increased and more side effects are showing up, but nothing we can't handle. Well, I am going to go now before I bore everyone to sleep. I hope everyone has a very happy holiday!

Angela

That must have really hurt to find out you were not included in the family reunion. I have been experiencing the same thing since Mom died. Several of our relatives used to call when Mom was alive, now that she is gone we never hear from any of them.

It has taken me a while to deal with this. It's not easy. I'm grateful for the people I have in my life that do care about me. Susan said it so well. You have family here at ther forum that care about you.

Vicki

Sugarlips

It is so nice that your mom's family still cares about her and is interested in how she is doing. It helps just to know someone cares when the day to day reality of caregiving gets to be too much.

Lorraine

Thanks everyone. I needed those hugs. Today started out rough as mom had gotten a christmas card from a distant relative who had heard moms brother had passed away. So we called asome cousins to find out. Thankfully, it wasn't true and mom and her brother talked today on the phone. It was wonderful that moms family arranged it so quick to straighten this out. Also after Mom talked to a couple of her neices they realised Mom's condition and wanted more info. Mom's family has always been more accepting of me than my family has. it was nice that they weren't just asking how Mom was doing but how we were doing and to make sure i take care of myself to. They are good people and care about others.

right now things are going good and i am feeling better. Mom and I made cookies today and it was fun. Hopefully, things will stay stable at least through Christmas. After that I will take one day at a time and one crisis at a time.

Lots of cyber hugs to everyone. Luv you all.
Angel

I hear so many that are in such pain.Not just the physical pain that one experiences but the emotional pain.It is a human emotion, not a pity party, far from it.Our hearts ache when family seems to want to ignore us .You should be throwing them a pity party.They are the ones that are lacking the love and caring all of you have shown.They always seem to be able to justify their lack of compassion.Many choose to use the term, too easily.What they are not hearing is your cry for validation.To tell you that you are doing a supburb job.To say it is okay that things are not always joyful.To try to understand you and your need to be surrounded by family as you become lonely.Because you have been placed in the position of be the responsible one does not have any thing to do with bing the , so called," Chosen one".Some chose to use this phrase when they want to justify their lack of loyality to a family member.Yes, they will be there to reap the harvest when the person passes.yOU AS THE CAREGIVER WILL COME AWAY WITH SO MUCH MORE.I know this may be hard to invision at this time but the end will bring a sense that the others will never feel or know.I know this does not fill the sorrow and pain brought on by poor judgement. I always wonder what school of learning so many went to.Possibly the only thing they learned and applied came straight out of a text book.Maybe they need to pick up te greatest text book ever written.The bible.But then they would interped it in away to justify the cruel and unjust way they treat a fellow family member. So when you come here and share what is in your heart, it is not pity , it is the need to free your self of all feelings and be acknowledged.One day you will be able to give a pity party .Not for you .You will make he biggest banner and have PITTY PARTY IN BRIGHT COLORS AND TELL ALL THIS IS THEIR COMING OUT PARTY.

Dear Angel: Cyber Hugs your way. I am so sorry that you have to deal with this type of family rejection. You sound like a wonderful loving and caring person. It is their loss not to have you with them.

Your sister's gift sounds wonderful. Please don't apologize for boring anyone. I know I am never bored when someone shares what's going on. In fact, quite the opposite. It's why I come here.

Take care of yourself and know that you have a family here at the forum. Much love, Susan

You need a big hug, that much is clear. Sometimes life and the way people behave really does seem more than one can bear. But I hope you know deep inside that you're special and what you're doing with your life is so important. It doesn't matter if others know that; it matters that you do. God bless. Be good to you this holiday season.

Love, Rita