Have any good tips for ways to beat caregiver stress? What do you do when you need to catch a few minutes of breathing space?

Some folks go for a drive or a walk. Some soak in a hot tub. Some stare at the TV.

Tell us what you do. This is a great chance to help a fellow caregiver relax.

So many of those CGs that may turn to the bottle to help them over the hump are really very wonderful and sensitive people. Yet with CGs often being so isolated and being prone for depression and the LOs continued behavior can often cause the best of us to have just a little drink to relax at the end of the day. This is actually good, as long as it is one glass, not one bottle a day. A glass of wine at night can go a long way to helping you to begin to unwind and relax.

The problem comes when the CG feels they need to have just one glass after a hard time with their LO, or they borrow one pill to help keep them from going over the edge. The better idea is when you think you need some help just to get through the moment and you are concsidering a drink or pill (something that is not prescribed for you by your Dr.) to help get over the hump, you are right you need help. You need help fast.

EA, I had no idea that substance abuse was a problem among CGs. Guess I have been very fortunate in *knowing* those who appear not to have that problem.

It strikes me that it must be terribly dangerous for the loved one....scarey. I mean, I wonder how much anger is released at the LO, how safe he or she is, etc.

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Puffin

Though we are kidding around about substance abuse, it is a real problem with many CGs. So many CGs feel so trapped, isolated and depressed that some and more than we would want to see, turn to alcohol or other substances to help ease the pain.

I have had CGs come to the chatroom over the years that were so drunk they could not even type. What is even sadder while intoxicated there was not a thing anyone could say or do that could help them.

I am a coffee drinker but when I drink a pop I generally prefer coke. So I guess you two are the hard core coke addicts and I just dabble with coke.

Sandi, I'm a coke drinker as well. First thing in the morning and pretty much all day long. Gets the blood moving for me much better than coffee. Glad, btw, you aren't a coke addict. Be kinda hard to handle your life if you were.

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Puffin

Well, my husband sleeps very little so most mornings he is awake before I am and sometimes I open one eye to see him standing there staring at me. Now that is a way to start the day!!!!

When I do have a few minutes I love to read or soak in the hot tub.....Those times are too few and far between though!

I like the idea of the refrigerator in the bedroom.....I am a "Coca Cola" addict so they would be close by...I almost said a coke addict but I was afraid Puffin and Edyth Ann would have a heart attack!!!!

Byeeeeeee

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Sandi

I had a spot in the backyard that was sheilded by some tall growing plants. I set a chair out there and turned a bucket upside down as my table. It was my spot to have a morning cup of coffee before dealing with Milly.

Good ideas, Lo.

I remember an AD caregiver telling me once how she used the window to her room to go to the barn when she had to go to the bathroom. She was in a situation similar to yours in that when her door was closed, she was safe. So she shinnied in and out the window and managed to hang on to her sanity.

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Puffin

I can escape to my computer because it is in the rec room downstairs. Mom doesn't "do" stairs. Hasn't in years, not because she can't but because she doesn't want to. So I can get away from her for a little while.

The other thing I do is to grab a few minutes alone first thing in the morning. She doesn't start her day until I come out of my bedroom. She just sits and waits for me to be up. So, I have started a routine of getting her up and started at 9:00 am on days she doesn't have daycare or a worker coming in. Any time I have before that I spend in my own bedroom. As long as my door is closed (she can she it from her room), she assumes she's supposed to wait for me.

I'm thinking of putting a fridge and coffee maker in my bedroom so I never have to come out!!!!

Caregivers, how about dropping here some tips on ways to take care of yourselves? Whether it's something major like a weekend away or something small but helpful like a special way to get a few minutes respite from shadowing, others could be helped by your experiences and ideas!

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Puffin

Caring for the Caregivers

Study finds those aiding psychotic relative risk mental illness themselves

By Robert Preidt HealthScout Reporter

SATURDAY, March 24 (HealthScout)— People who care for psychotic relatives are more at risk for mental illness themselves, claims a new British study.

“It’s been suspected, but there’s never been a study specifically addressing the issue of caregivers,”’ says lead author Dr. Tonmoy Sharma, head of the cognitive psychopharmacology section, Institute of Psychiatry, Maudsley Hospital, King’s College, London.

“The fact that one is living with a psychotic individual or one is caring for a psychotic individual, I think that in itself is quite distressing, plus any other things that might happen as one goes along,” Sharma says.

Read more about this study of caregivers to schizophrenic patients here at Health Scout. Although the caregivers in the study do not have Alzheimer's or other dementia loved ones, there may be some applicable observations here.

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Puffin

I'd be really interested in a caregiver's take on this Mind Tools information on stress management. Is it of any use for the particular kinds of stress caregivers suffer?

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Puffin

Trying to do it all alone? Can't be done.

For some ideas on the importance of support to caregivers, take a look at this article by ECO's Rich O'Boyle.

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Puffin

When ever you are caring for someone else it is vital that you figure yourself in the care plan just as much as you do for the one you are caring for. Most all CareGivers (and I was just as guilty even though I knew better) are so involved juggling the needs of the many they forget to throw themselves into the juggling act. Yet if you do not care for yourself and your needs as much as others, there is no way you can care for someone else as well.

Caring for a person with Alzheimer’s disease can be an all-absorbing experience. The physical demands of caregiving may be exhausting. Add to that the emotional stress of trying to balance caregiving with work, family and other relationships. Feelings of anger, guilt, frustration, discouragement, worry, grief and social isolation become common, along with feelings of being taken for granted.

Emotionally and physically depleted caregivers may shortchange their own needs, risking burnout, poor health and depression. You may lose sight of one important insight: Caring for yourself makes it possible for you to provide the care that’s needed for your loved one.

Caregivers, please don't miss this discussion of caregiver health from the MayoClinic.com. It's excellent stuff, and the sidebar of tips is good fridge copy!

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Puffin

See how you rate on this Caregivers' Self-Rating Scale.

Would you recommend this test to other caregivers?

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Puffin

Have you seen these Ten Commandments for the Concerned Caregiver? How do they look? Anything missing?

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Puffin

LOL, ces! And where did you get that nifty icon? I am beset with icon lust.

Edyth Ann, what interesting ideas for catching a little R&R. And I love the re-doing shelves story. While it is almost impossible for a non-caregiver to understand the stress and exhaustion of the caregiver, you guys are helping me get there. Thanks.

Not exactly on topic....

Security guard at Krogers (grocery) got to know that when I show up at 3am it's to get in, get out and get home!!!!! (I'd told him one night about Mom) And he helps me load the car

'Bout straightening out those shelves, is that like starting to cut up someones meat when you go out to eat

ces