How fast does dementia progress? It seems like some days he does really well and others are an absolute nightmare for me. Today he asked me if I wanted him to moved out, he seems to realize that his anger is unjustified sometimes and he gets frustrated at his memory losses. In addition to cutting his hair I am now shaving him. What other independence is he going to lose and how soon? I have read the 36 Hour Day and it is scary. I feel like I am carrying the burden alone, my family all have their own concerns and my daughter is bi-polar, so I can't depend on her for support. I have now gotten with a church where I am comfortable, but am reluctant to "dump" on others. How do I get a little peace for myself?

I apologize for dumping on you, but am at my wits end right now.

Hey FG good to hear from you.
With Dementia the time frame is as unique as the individual to be honest not to mention the meds they are on.
They all have their good days, bad days and horrific days.
Their ability to preform ADL's again is based on the progression so only you are going to know for sure what he is capable of doing from one day to the next.
I have several with Dementia and each one of them are so different from each other.
One is angry all the time which I believe it has a lot to do with meds they are taking, Haldol being one of them (bad bad bad) another one is very quiet and only yells out when your attending to him and needs constant direction, can not hold a thought for more than 10-30 seconds this is the only one that responds well to humor to diffuse the situations that may arise.
Another has the atypical memory impairment with Sundowning and can do nothing for themself.
When the memory goes this is when their ability to do ADL's diminishes, you can direct them but it just doesnt register for them and you end up repeating more than getting the task done and the more drawn out the task the greater the risk for outbursts.
At that point it is wise to start doing for them as their lack of ability to do something they have done a thousand times before gets them agitated quickly.
Honestly you have to grow some thick skin let the comments roll off for they know not what they say do or scream.
And honey not for nothin books are a dime a dozen as well as opinions...what may work for one individual may not work for another.
Take everything you hear, read or watch and use the info as a guideline only of things to come because not all symptoms or experiences happen for all individuals.
I just had someone show me a newspaper clipping of how persons affected by AD who have golfed in the past never forget the game....
Hmmm well if you wanna take a person out into a field to knock around a few balls whos lets say mid stage to end mid stage knock yourself out (not you I was talking to another person when discussing the idea a few days later)
Now if I did that to lets say my MIL chances are she'd go into a tizzy start screaming but lord have mercy she wouldnt forget the game
In other words if someone told me to do that Id take into consideration the stage they were at and not just the fact the person played golf in the past cause that person doesnt exist anymore nowaddimean
Honey I know this has got to be an extremely tough situation for you with no help Im glad you got into a church but arent there any Alz groups where you are?
I think you would be better served by attending one of their meetings where folks really do understand your situation and can handle the talk.
Remember only the ones that actually walk the walk can talk the talk
(((hugs)))