Things are changing, more rapidly now. About six weeks ago we came home from shopping, DH sat behind the wheel of the car for a few minutes, then quietly announced that he was done driving. The only driving he has done since was before daylight when we had to be at the hospital for day surgery. He had a squamous cell cancer on his hand which was successfully removed. I am handling more of the heavy stuff now, like heavy groceries. I now take out the trash the night before collection day. He was an excellent cook; today he announced that the kitchen is all mine; he will let me do all the cooking from now on. His main activities now are reading and watching TV and a lot of sleeping. He has some heart blockage and is on beta blockers now, and is at some risk for a heart attack.

As he lets go of things, I am now picking up. I have to learn to grocery shop alone as many times he will just tell me to go to the store. I really don't know how to shop anymore, but I am a quick learner. Planning meals is a chore as he is losing interest in what he eats. I am making sure that I get out once or twice a week to do fun stuff, like coffee with my friends and yard sale shopping. And I keep busy with activities here at home.

My prayer at night when I can't sleep is "God give me patience!"

Thanks to all for your voice of support. I have to admit there are good days, bad days, and those I'd like to find a very high bridge--it is amazing, however, that somehow I get thru those, too. Right now, I'm just feeling overwhelmed by it all and have reacted by not doing anything other than going to work and doing the absolute minimum here at home (i.e., my house is a DISASTER! If anyone has any suggestions for getting out of these moods, I'd appreciate it muchly! I look forward to future correspondence. Once again, it is comforting to know I'm not alone.

Welcome. You have some tough times ahead of you, but you will do okay. Don't take everything on yourself, let your son and others help. Take time for yourself. I am caring for my 86 year old husband who is slowly declining. I make sure to get time out of the apartment by myself, visit friends, go shopping. You will have good days and bad days. Some days I get so irritable I wonder if I need a net dropped over me. lol It is great he does some things for himself, my hubby does what he can. He cooks occasionally and carries out the trash. Let hubby do what he can, these men still need to feel they can do things. Don't take away all his independence, let him give up what he needs to. My hubby gave up driving, just drives out of town when I don't feel up to it. I am dealing with fibromyalgia, so we have that to contend with, and he helps me all he can. You will eventually get into a routine you can live with, with the help of your children. God bless and take care.

Welcome, Stef! Glad you found us - we're open 24/7 and even though we get busy, there's usually someone around to listen and offer support. I have my unfledged son & fiancee here with me too, which presents such unique problems... but also are a source of support when needed. Day to day, they bring much to the fray that I DON'T need, but when my back is to the wall, they are there for me. Yin and yang...

Hang in there and please keep us posted about how your hubby is doin' and how you are holding up under the load you are carrying.

Hey Stef welcome aboard! Glad you found us.
Make yourself comfortable we got some pretty great people in here, loads of advice when needed and lots of hugs.
I hope you are taking a little time for yourself in all of this with work, family, and Hubby, sounds like you have a full schedule goin there so dont forget to take care of you.

thanks for the welcome--I think it will be very helpful just to talk to others in the same situation

Welcome Stef

I commend you for caring for your husband. You are in the right place. There are many fine folks here at ECO that understand what you are going thru.

I care for my Mom who has Lewy Body Disease, it has Parkinson symptoms along with other things.

Glad you "found" ECO-it's been a life-line for me.

I just wanted to introduce myself. I just started looking for a support group tonite and this seems to be one that might be helpful. I am caring for my spouse while holding a full time job (which I LOVE), have my 20 year old son and his finance and 2 month old granddaughter living with us and an 18 year old in his freshman year of college but he comes home most weekends. My spouse (JJ)can still care for himself but does little more than lite housework (when he's feeling well), sleep and watch TV. He can drive, sometimes, but knows when he can't so at least that's not a problem. He has had serious health problems since 2000 and was just diagnosed with Parkinson's. His physical and mental condition have been deteriorating for some time now. I guess I'm just looking for others in the same boat. Thanks for listening.

quote:

Finished a quilt top this afternoon, rail fence pattern in blues shading to white.

Farmgirl, that sounds great! I hope that when it's finished, you'll take a picture to share it with us!

You and your burrito-makin' hubby are an inspiration to us all to do the best we can with what we've got and continue LIVING every day we are given. Thanks for sharing with us! You made my day!!

I'm doing pretty well, lots of fibromyalgia pain, but keep it down to a dull roar. We have checked out the new Super Wal Mart that just opened up here last Wednesday. Awfully big, didn't get through all of it but did buy some grocery basics that were cheaper than the grocery store. I really hate to by-pass our local stores, but on a fixed budget with increased costs, I have to use every chance to get things cheaper.

Finished a quilt top this afternoon, rail fence pattern in blues shading to white. Now I have to get the border fabric, binding and backing and filling and I can put it all together. It is for a dear friend who introduced me to the Pacific Ocean.

Hubby fine, saw his doctor this week. He is making burritos for dinner tonight.

Hope everyone else is doing fine and enjoying some cooler weather.

God bless and take care.

Hey Farmgirl - just checkin' on y'all - how're things goin' for you and your DH? I hope some pleasant fall weather has come your way...

Thank you so much. Yes, he seems to be letting go of things gracefully. He seems content with his life, still dreaming of things he would like to do, but not obsessing because he can't. He focuses more and more on the past, telling me story after story. We just go on, enjoying our time together.

Ahhhhh, Farmgirl... bless both your hearts! I am glad he's not giving you a hard time, but it's sad to hear of someone giving up their interests and activites, one by one...

It's said that we're not given anything to handle that we are not also given the tools with which to handle it, but, BOY... it sure doesn't seem that way sometimes...

Your courage is remarkable and your attitude is inspiring. Hang in there, m'dear!