I first joined the forum in 2003 to help my mother and father. Now I’m here for my husband.

My husband has been showing signs of dementia for some time now, and I was so wrapped up in my own problems that I did not want to face them. There was always “time” in the future for that…we both worked full time on different schedules and never saw each other except on weekends. Two weeks ago my husband’s boss called me and told me John was about to be fired for poor job performance (could not remember his password, short-term memory losses...). His boss told me that his decline over the last three months has escalated to the point that he can no longer perform his job. John has taken a leave of absence since that day two weeks ago.

We have a doctor’s appointment with our primary physician on Monday. I have papers from John’s employer to bring with me for taking a leave of absence under the Family Medical Leave Act for the time being, but I am sure that John will retire. He is 66 and I am 51. I work full time in a demanding job and have recently gotten a big promotion, for which I am very grateful.

John is in the early stages of dementia (from a cause yet to be determined) and is able to function well at home. He was never one to show his emotions or to talk about his feelings. He has not shown empathy for me over the last few years when my parents were ill, and I should have known that this was an early sign…

Alzheimer’s disease runs rampant in John’s family. I know I have a long journey ahead of me. I also know that this forum is a wonderful place to help me along the road.

Mae, please accept my sincerest condolences over the passing of your husband. I am sorry I have not kept in touch. I hope you are doing okay on your own new journey. Diana, my heart goes out to you as you face your ongoing challenges with your dear husband. For all the rest of you, I know I will learn a lot for your own stories and I hope to gain insight from each one of you. Thank you for being here!

Karen

not Veeeera, thqank you for this bit of information.

I wanted to let everyone know that Karen has had some computer problems and that's why she is not replying. Her husband is awaiting a more few tests...... She will be back. In her exact words sheeeeez girl. (wait was that mine??) Besides this is the only place to get a 100% certified forum-tini. Good for the CG'ers soul as many can testify.

Karen, I hope you will think about keeping a journal here. It would be very helpful to many.

For some of us who are not familiar with MMSE, here is a link.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mini-mental_state_examination

It is a mini mental state examination.

Karen, it is good to hear that your PCP is doing a complete round of tests. For Mom, a B vit. supplement METANX did a lot of good. The only reason to wait for the neurologist instead of the nurse practioner, would be (in my book),, would the test have to be repeated for the neurologist, or would he be able to read the results of the first one? I am reluctant to expose people to more testing and radiation than necessary though having someone else interpret the tests is wonderful.

Notveerrraaa, I’m sorry to have caused you to worry. I had to travel for work for a few days. Next week I’ll be gone from early Monday through Friday night (sigh), not good timing for my husband. I’ll have my laptop and my evenings free so I hope to check in here on the forum.

Monday’s appointment went well, I guess. The doctor was very nice (she is my primary doctor, too), and she spent a lot of time with us. She and I exchanged several knowing glances throughout the interview. I gave her a written account of John’s medical and family history, what had happened at his job, and his current symptoms. She asked him whether he had ever felt weakness or numbness on one side (no). She gave John the MMSE, and he scored a 30/30. He could subtract from 100 by 7s faster than I could. I was surprised that John could remember the three words (bat, monkey, and honesty). The doctor cautioned me that the exam does not take into account education level (John has a PhD in Inorganic chemistry). She also gave him a written questionnaire screening for depression, which he filled out indicating that he was not depressed. She filled out the papers for FMLA for 12 weeks of leave. On the papers she stated “memory loss, flat affect” and that he cannot perform any work that requires short term memory.

We have an appointment on April 8th for an MRI of the head and brain (without contrast), and an appointment on the 11th with a neurology group practice. One question I have for all of you: I had my choice of waiting until May for a neurologist, or taking the April appointment with a neurological Nurse Practitioner. I wanted the earlier appointment, but do you think I should reschedule with a neurologist instead?

As soon as we left our doctor’s office, I asked John if he could remember the three words and he could not. We went out for breakfast, and I asked him about every ten minutes if he could remember the three words, and he never could. It became a game with us, and I would give him hints, “a mammal that flies at night, a mammal that likes bananas, what you are with a ‘y’ on the end”. One time when I asked, he said, “Moe, Larry, and Curly” and we had a big laugh - that was funny and it made us both feel good.

I have a lot of things to do – getting legal advice and setting up POA, wills, living trust, Social Security, Medicare…It’s a little overwhelming, but I’ll tackle it, one day at a time. I have a great new boss, who I have told, but I still work for my old boss too - who I dread telling, he was not very empathetic when I went through this with my parents. I’ll tell him after the neurological exam, when we have a diagnosis.

Moms Buddy, thank you for your offer to pin this thread, and once again, thank you everyone for being here.

Karen

PS. I forgot to mention that the doctor also gave John a blood test for hypothyroidism, Vitamin D, Vitamin B-12, and PSA. She called on Thursday and now has him on Vitamin D and Vitamin B-12 supplements. I wasn’t home so I guess all the other findings were normal.

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Karen F.,

Karen, other members here, most notably mae and Billy, have started their own thread "blogs" to chronicle their journey. If you want to follow their lead, please feel free to do so and we'll "pin" your thread so that it's easily "findable" for you and others following your journey with you.

Karen, How did John's appointment go on Monday? Update when you can. worrying now......

Karen, I'm so sorry you have to travel this road again. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Also...Congratulations on your promotion at work!

Friend I'll be home this afternoon. Hopefully John's appointment will go smoothly. I can still remember the 3 words from mom's appointment..... baseball, 123 Broadway, birthday cake. DH forgot them.......
why am i awake at this unworldly time? house auction. Let's hope the auction team actually shows up this time.....

Hi Karen. Guess what it took me awhile to make the connection even without the name change. I am so sorry you are now dealing with this yet again. Our daffs are now nearly all blooming, crocus are over. Guess what it did today??It SNOWED????Thought I was seeing things. Didn't stick though but it is now clear and frosty. Hope you and John still have time to enjoy life together. Let us know how you make out at the Dr. I see notveeerrraaa reserected the hic Gypsy

Thank you, old friends and new, for being here.

Speaking of old friends - Gypsy! I cannot believe I forgot about you! I'm sorry! I don't know what I was thinking, although I do think of you under your real name and maybe that was why I had a brain fog? ...I hope you and Mike are doing okay, and that Spring is showing up around your house.

Tomorrow morning John and I will see the doctor. I know in the beginning there will be several dr's appointments to test for many things. I will update tomorrow on what the doctor has to say. I did ask John several questions on the MMSE and he did fine (but I did not give him some words to remember and then ask him if he could recall them later, I'll let the doctor do that, I did not want to upset him). I am taking the day off from work so he isn't alone.

Notveerrraa, I will call you soon, maybe tomorrow.

Karen

Hey GURL, Sorry to hear about this. You know my number if you want to talk.

Karen, I joined in Jan.'07, so we haven't met before. I just want to join your old friends in welcoming you back though I wish it were other circumstances. It is good that John's boss called you about this, but he waited to the last minute, huh. We will be waiting with you to hear what the doctor has to say.

Dear Karen,

In my readings about AD I remember that the first symptoms would definitely show up at the persons place of work. After all, that is where most of their time is spent! Anyway, the reason I bring this up is because I hope you are not kicking yourself and saying "I should have seen this sooner, or I should have noticed." Don't. It won't do you any good.
Go forward, don't go back. Take one day at a time. And always, always ask for help! You are not alone!

Karen, I am so sorry to hear of this recent happening.You have dealt with so much with mom and dad passing so close.
You have had so much pain and heart ache witin a short time frame.
Not easy to hear a loved one showing signs of dementia.
CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR PROMOTION.I KNOW IT IS ONE YOU WORKED SO HARD TO ACHIEVE.It seems like yesterday that you became a family member of the forum.You have been there to help so many on and off this forum.
I have no words of wisdom, you have more then enough of your own.
I am doing better.Things do not heal over night.
Please keep the girls informed.They have been concerned about you.
Hugs to you

...sigh...
So sorry to hear about John's diagnosis.
As always, if we can help, you know we're here for ya.

Many blessings to you!