Good Morning,

Richard my hubby, cannot watch or read anything about AD without becomming very sad and weeps.

It is very difficult to talk about dementia of any type without him crying. He is sooooo sad the majority of the time and will just sit in the recliner from the time he awakens until he finally goes to bed...which is usually around 2am sometimes not until 4am (very frustrating).

Do y'all deal or have dealt with this before? I try to change the channel, if the character has AD but just a glimse is all that's needed to set the saddess off.

I'd appreciate any suggestions or enlightenment.

Get him out of the house. Enroll him in an Adult Day Care Center specializing in Alzheimer's Disease. You want to stimulate his mind not make it more aggraviting for him.

Give him puzzles to do like building blocks (LEGOS). Have him draw something. Like quiz him to draw his favorite flower or scene. Talk to him about his youth or his favorite place he loved to visit. Ask him to describe it to you as if you were blind. This will make him think and use descriptive words.

God bless. I pray for everyone here who is worried about their loved one with Dementia.

Gwen, It seems those we care for are never 100%.We have a good day in one area only to be confronted with something else.
May I say how nice it is to see you back.

quote:

Originally posted by ggjones:
Don, what a kind gentle person you are to be so lovingly caring for your wife and having had your share of problems.

Richard is doing better and we vist the AD doc tomorrow. It seems to come in spurts and I don't know the triggers. Just don't want him to hurt physically or mentally and hope and pray I can find some glimpse of happines and joy to bring him.

Gwen, you are such a dear person. Let us know how Richard's appointment turns out, ok?

Don, what a kind gentle person you are to be so lovingly caring for your wife and having had your share of problems.

Richard is doing better and we vist the AD doc tomorrow. It seems to come in spurts and I don't know the triggers. Just don't want him to hurt physically or mentally and hope and pray I can find some glimpse of happines and joy to bring him.

Gwen, I am not familiar with the anti-depressive effects of all the meds you listed; however, I think a chat with the doc is still in order. Meds that worked at one point may need adjusting or eliminating in favor of ones that produce better effects. Because your husband is compensating, it is reasonable to assume that he would minimize these symptoms when speaking with his doc - he may not even be aware of how all together they spell "treatable depression." Please call the doc yourself and tell him about how your DH REALLY behaves when the spotlights are off. THis is very common and the doc needs your input so he can get a true picture.

I am so happy to hear how well he is functioning and keeping as active as he can muster given his state of depression, etc. I am hopeful that his condition can be improved with different or modified therapies. Might also help for him to have folks similarly afflicted to talk with - a support group for patients. NO ONE, not even us, can understand how they feel 'cause we aren't the ones with the disease!

Best of luck, sweetie!!

Hi Gwen, This is Don again. I, like your husband have dealt with depression most of my life. How come these diseases only make exsisting problems worse. I have lost count of the different medications that I have tried. I have been hospitalized 4 times and have had shock treatments twice. The only relief I have had was when I stopped working (too much stress) and accepted a disablity. My wife stood beside me through all of the rough times. Now it is my turn to stay with her with her dementia. I guess all that I am trying to say is I want to send a blessing to you for taking care of him. Don't feel guilt to enjoy life each day even if your husband seems locked in this depression. The brain chemicals do change in time. I am glad your husband can still get out on his own. My wife no longer drives and really can't do anything outside of the house on her own. I am blessed that she always had an accepting nature. I need to go, we are going to the mall so she can start looking at dresses for our daughters wedding. All the best to you and your husband. Don

hi gg,
Well just so u know...that whole thing about him acting normal around everyone else and them not believing how he can act at home is very normal. I thought the granny invented that but as i read more and more posts i see this is quite normal. This is probably why her dr. directly asks me questions about her behavior now because the dr. knows that AD patients will act as if nothing is wrong with them. But bless your heart for putting up with him! I can totally relate to trying to suggest activities for them and they can always come up with some excuse to not do something. Oh well, even when it irritates the granny i still sing and dance around the house because it is still MY life and i cant let anybody,no matter how sick they are, take away my joy of music and dancing!

Hi Y'all,
Richard is on Exelon 12 mgs,50mgs of Zoloft,90mgs of Cymbalta, and Nemenda twice a day, plus heart meds. He is still able to drive, volunteers with handicapped children and attends his church where he teaches a class. The sadness and depression have been a part of his life for almost 40 years. We see the AD doc Tuesday, and hopefully, I don't know what to hope for.
He puts up a great front for others and people think I'm nuts when I try to explain his real behavior at home.

Of course I am nuts...I love to laugh and giggle, dance around the house and just be silly, but these things irritate him, so it's kinda ruff!!!!! We are so opposite, he hates it when I go to the grocery or anyone comes over. Doesn't want me out of his sight and wants nothing to take my attention away from him and only him. The stress is almost unbearable most days. I do remind him to enjoy things now..work in the yard...sit outside and have coffee...grill something, but it's either too hot,too cold,too windy, too tired,doesn't feel well..oh! did I mention he is hard of hearing and I'm not...won't wear his hearing aids either...need I mention the volume on the gigantic TV?????
I must give him creit in the fact that he does try for a day or so..but slips back into the no bathing, funky smelling, narrow minded man I love.

Don't think there is much to be done, think I've tried everything, maybe just vent and keep on loving and caring for him.

Gwen, people afflicted with health issues all feel depressed and sorry for themselves sometimes... whether it's heart problems, cancer, dementia, brain tumours or whatever!

Maybe when your husband gets "stuck" on the depression, it might be time to remind him that he's NOT gone yet!! He still realizes a LOT, therefore, he still has some LIVING to do and some enjoyment to get/give in life. If his depression is so deep that he cannot "snap out of it" or allow himself to be cheered up and recentered, then perhaps it's time to take a look at some anti-depressives to help him.

Hey - he lived to see another Mardi Gras and besides - it's a BEE-YOU-TEE-FULL day today... if he can walk, kick him outta dat LAZYboy and tell him to go soak up some fresh air and sunshine while he can!! If he can't walk, wheel him outside!! One should never be so caught up in sadness that we fail to see the joy and beauty around us that's absolutely FREE for the taking!! Late at night this time of year, the stars are breathtaking and the skeeters haven't gotten bad enough yet to spoil the enjoyment. Remembering to give the GOOD stuff its due is important!! If he just cannot help himself, it's time to talk to the doc to get him some help 'cause time's a wastin'!!!
Good luck, chere!!

Hi Gwen, As a man I was taught to hide my emotions (like that was possible). I don't know about your husbands situation but I am sure he has suffered a big loss. My wife is aware of her condition and has acted depressed at times. From her comments "I wish I had my violin students to teach" "I liked it when I could read" I guess that she is mourning what she could do before the strokes and dementia. The medication helps (Lexapro) but I think time has been the greatest healing factor. I use to think it would be a "living hell" to be aware of the condition but my wife has a level of acceptance that I find inspiring.
Another approach you might take with an AD story on television is to sit and watch it with him. Switching the channel is sending the message that AD is something that shouldn't be talked about. If he cries or dosen't want to talk about it that is fine. He will see that you are supporting him even if he can't express it.
Just as a side note. My wife doesn't go to bed before 2AM. She also won't let me go to sleep before her (I snore). I figured out she is on the Hawaii time zone. For Christmas I gave her a tee shirt that says "I'm on Island Time."
I hope your husband's sad times pass quickly.
Don

Wow, so he actually knows he has AD and accepts it but cries when he sees it on tv or someone talks about it?? AD patients are all just so different. I dont know if that is bad or not. I mean, its sad to think he cries but at least he knows he has it and at least he rests alot! Has his primary dr. given him any medications for depression? Perhaps any meds he is on now cause's him to be sleepy. I wish my granny would sleep most of the time! My granny refuses to admit she has it...goes into catastrophic fits when it is even mentioned that she has it and if she sees something about it on tv she talks about them like THEY are crazy and feels bad for THEM as if she isn't the same way!!