I am ready to run away from home. dh seems to be angry so much of the time, critical, and negative. He had a good checkup the first of the month, just got our flu shots. The anger and criticism are not really all that new,but seems to be increasing. He never feels really well. We did get a lift chair so he no longer has to struggle to get out of his recliner. But some days nothing I do seems to satisfy him, TV too loud, not loud enough, wrong program, food doesn't seem to interest him anymore, eating habits seem to be changing. Seems to be more unsteady on his feet getting around the house, hangs onto counters, walls, etc.

Is this anger because he sees his life slipping away? I don't know how to help him except just be there for him and doing the caretaking he requires. But I'd really like to scream and run away for a day, just to have some peace.

farmgirl, I take care of my mother, and I guess I expect a lot of this and am prepared. H and I are less than a year apart in age.

The spousal caregivers here are awesome. I find it managable to care for a parent, but for you, Merrwid(Don'swife) Mae, Mar, Gypsy. It is something special what you do. Please vent, share. We are here to hear you.

Merrwid, I had to chuckled at your response. Unfortunately, a bath is out of the question because my inability to get down and then out of a bathtub. There is also the openess of our mobile home, no door into the master bath. But I do go into my "inner sanctum" back there, close the door to the stool/shower area, sit and cry or go into a nice hot shower, lean against the wall, and cry if I have to. Otherwise I just try to ignore the tone of his voice or come into my office, turn on some calming CD's, and work on my jewelry or my genealogy research. It helps.

Thanks for being here.

Try telling him to stop being so rude and nasty.
We all know that it is not how he used to be; as a matter of fact had he been that way he would have had a very angry wife on his hands, wouldn't he?
But you are the only one he CAN be angry with, whatever the reason for the anger. You understand that he really isn't like this, is fighting all the changes that are going on, and you really CAN'T say "So long, Bud, find someone else to put up with your shennanigans."
One thing that helped me was when I was able to take a bath instead of a quick shower. While the water was running to fill the tub, I would sit with a big bathtowel all crumpled up and just scream into it until I got it all out. Oh, it helps a lot to have two towels - the first one will be way too wet to do any good when you get out of the tub!

Farmgirl, have you spoken to his doctor about these changes? I am wondering if a med change is in order?