Has anyone seen the site and forum at:

http://www.wellspouse.org

They are pretty opinionated there. I posted there and several people tried to get me to divorce my husband because I'm getting ill, so that he won't have to be my caregiver when he doesn't want to! Other than that, they would be very helpful to a spouse who has to care for a VERY SEVERE DISABLED spouse.

How do you and your husband get along? How does he react when you are not feeling well? I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia shortly after I was married, and for two years my husband didn't have a wife. I went to work, came home, slept in the recliner until he put dinner on the table, slept in the recliner until 8:30 or so and crawled into bed to repeat the whole thing day after day. He was retired at the time we married, 22 years older than I am. He never complained. He knows when we go somewhere and I tell him I have to go home because I am too tired to sit up and visit, he just brings me home. Now that I have been retired almost 10 years and he is aging, I do a lot of the caretaking, doing things he can no longer do like taking out the garbage if he is not feeling up to it, doing all the cooking, etc. Our marriage is a partnership and we take care of each other. I hope you can work out what will work best for you. Everyone's situation is unique and don't let anyone tell you to get a divorce, that should be a very personal decision. Best of luck to you.