I thought it was grand that the caregiver brought my dad to get a simple car repair ($16.00) I have a zillion things to do, and this was one simple errand they could tackle, and maybe he would feel more independent doing real things for his real life. I told him have a nice ride, and to use his credit card for the repair.

Afterward, I found out that the caregiver paid for it, and also that they stopped off at the grocery store and the caregiver picked up some things (things that I could have bought the next day.) It would have been great if the caregiver had brought him into the store (exercise plus doing real life things.) But no, dad waited in the car and the caregiver again fronted the money.

The caregiver got receipts, and asked me to pay them. My thought is that my dad should have gone into the business establishments and paid with his credit card. But he didn't, so now one idea is that I could have him add up the receipts, get his wallet out of the drawer, and pay the caregiver himself. This is COMPLETELY within his abilities! He has no dementia.

Problem is, if I set that precedent, then when my dad wants something, he will be digging into his wallet and sending the caregiver shopping. And will he "round up" the amount all the time, because he doesn't have exact change? And then what happens if he starts having the caregiver take money out of the ATM to continue this mode of making purchases? Yikes!

I would love to see him go to the store and buy things for himself. But the scenario I am seeing makes me nervous, and I do not want to set a precedent that could turn sour.

Should I just pay it and be glad that the caregiver will do shopping? Should my dad write checks to the caregiver to cover the purchases? (We do bills every so often and he writes out the checks - this could be one of our tasks we do then. But similar to the ATM problem, I can see him starting to write checks to the caregiver all the time...)

Should I try to get the caregiver to bring him INTO stores and pay it with the credit card? Or???

Suggestions are welcome!

Hun having done this in the past I can honestly say once in a while is ok but to make this a habit.....the woman was like a mom to me so it went without saying that she could be trusted...me well that goes without saying I do it simply to be nice and I am trustworthy however Iv seen relationships formed because of this, the cg gets the person to trust them and then well....money gets rounded up theres "tips" involved etc....(Jaded??? me??? Naaaa)
Tell the cg while you appreciate their willingness to front dad the money it is dads responsibility to go into the stores himself and do his personal shopping.
If thats not an option then you should be doing it, its as simple as that.

You are right to consider the consequences of any choice to make. Hard to say, since this CG is fairly new to you and your dad. Still, you might be borrowing trouble here. Maybe it is too soon to answer this. Have you considered a prepaid card that the CG could use? There would only be so much damage that could be done at any one time, you would get receipts and check back to the charges, then add more to the card as you anticipate the need. Your Dad could still go in with the CG and handle the transaction as he is able.

You are bound to get a better idea from someone. Mom hasn't handled any money in so long, I really don't know the options available.