Hi all - my grandfather was recently placed in a facility for his dementia. I want to send him something to cheer him up but I don't want to trigger any problems. I plan to call the facility first to see what they allow. But, my inclination is to avoid nostalgia as I don't want to upset him. (He's always been fiercely independent and saw his father go through this). On the other hand, I've heard that long term memory is one thing that persists with dementia and I want it to be something that he can enjoy and maybe takes him away from that place for awhile. I'm kind of at a loss as to what to send. I can't get a handle on any specifics other than he is sometimes perfectly aware and sometimes not very much. Any suggestions would be great. Thanks, Josh

Josh, how thoughtful of you! Magazines are often welcome - like Reader's Digest or other periodicals that are topical to his interests. Another suggestion would be to send him a postcard every week from somewhere he remembers. He will treasure those quick notes from you that he can read over and over again. The greatest gift is to see the people he loves, so taking him to a favorite restaurant (if he is allowed to leave) or movie or park would be great. If he is not able to leave, sometimes you can arrange to bring special meals in to him there... Hanging out to watch a favorite old movie or bringing him tapes or CDs or MP3s of talking books or old favorite music is often welcome.

Bringing a puzzle to do together, etc. is another way to make a visit more than just sitting around. While nostalgia upsets some folks, others get hungry for familiar reminders from their good old days... As time speeds by and they lose touch with their contemporaries, memories of those times gone by can be very comforting.

Having cookies or other favorite foods (seasonal fruit, pizza, etc.) delivered to him is often welcomed, depending on the rules of the facility.

Think about things he liked to do when he was living independently. A guy who was a fixer-upper in his spare time might enjoy making basic models or painting, depending on how well he can still function and follow directions, etc. Believe it or not, even granddads sometimes enjoy a big ol' teddy bear to have around!

But the best gift of all is having people who love him come and visit as often as they can, even if you simply sit and pat his hand. The comfort of having loved ones around is huge.

Howdy Josh welcome in!
Glad to have you
Well I can tell you from the perspective of having interned at a NH pictures are always the best thing to give to them unless this is a facility that has private rooms then almost anything goes some places you can have your own furniture brought in *that still boggles my mind*
My first thought is what was his favorite thing to do? And does he still enjoy it?
Gardening pots with soil and seeds to grow, a portable radio, photo albums with family photos, games.
You know him best and also do call the facility and ask what they can accept sometimes they can suggest something to you, hope this helps