We noticed Dad declining mentally about 2 years ago..he drank heavily, but this was different. He started getting lost while driving, then he lost his car. I mean litterally lost it. The police found it 4 days later parked near where I had picked him up.
Anyway, over the past year my sister and I set up Power of Attorney, I have Medical POA for him. We moved him across the street from me and started the process of contacting DMV about his driving and getting lost. We also started the daunting task of getting Dr's to listen to us. The would give him these "mini tests" and send him home. Finally, one of the nurses called me and told me my Dad was confused and she didn't want him to drive home, could I come and get him. I did.
Still they didn't medicate him or anything. It was so frustrating, he still wasn't diagnosed.
It took months for DMV to suspend him license and it devastated him. He still tries to drive, he thinks my car is his. But his key doesn't fit.
Fast forward.
He recently had a pace maker put in and due to his alcoholism, I'm sure, he tried to leave the hospital on his own in his pj's. They stopped him and restrained him. Eventually they moved him to ICU so they could lock him in and keep an eye on him. They put him on Adavan and kept him 3 more days because he attacked three of the staff. He is only 5'2" 140 lbs.
He should have gone home the next day.
The Dr's having now seen his behavior had to address it. They have been very supportive and aggressive with his treatment. They tagged him Geriatric failure to thrive and put him on a meriad of medications. He hasn't had a drink for several weeks, mostly because he's been too medicated to get to the bar on his own, but now that my sister rented us a house and I moved in with him we have also installed key locks on the outside doors. He cannot leave alone.
Sometimes it's amusing and my daughter, who also live with us, and I giggle at the the little things, this morning when I was driving her to summer school he thought he was going to school. hee hee. It was cute.
I want to list the meds, he has only been on for about 3 weeks. Give me feedback, he has been violent but I'm a little bigger and a little younger so he doesn't do much damage. Once I push him back he stops..it doesn't hurt him, it does startle him..I won't hurt him! He's just trying to leave.
So he takes Aricept at night..Namenda 5mg am and 5mg pm then it goes up. He takes Adavan, and Lyprexa for agitation. Most of the time he is a blithering drooling zombie..he does have moments of clarity too though. On top of that he takes about 6 meds for his heart.
I am going to give the meds a chance, but it's hard to see him like this. Confused is one thing..numb is another.
I know I'm rambling, but I don't get a lot of hands on support. Sis lives 100 mi away, but comes when she can.

Thank you Dochka, I will forward this to my sister. She knows, but rereading these points will help alot.
This is so US!!

Here is a link to ECO's main page on how to handle the holidays. Hope this helps.

http://www.ec-online.net/Knowl...ticles/holidays.html

Here's a question for everyone who wants to answer or suggest things.
What about the holiday's?
Last year I got a tree and all the commotion confused dad.
This year Elizabeth, my youngest is spending this semester at her dad's house. She'll be back after Christmas. It's just easier for me, her dad is married and they have two cars.
I have to drag dad along on all her errands what with dance and her upcoming show, and now she has a part time job at the mall. He can't handle all that. It was her suggestion.
I miss her, but it's the first time either of my children have "lived" with their dad..so it's good for him too.
Anyway, I was thinking, I might get a tree..but no church, and for Turkey day I think I'll just make small servings of the traditional stuff and make a chicken or turkey legs.
He doesn't get the flow of the year and his confusion agitates him.
The kids might come by but they're so busy, they're talking about laying around in their jammies and letting people come to them. I don't blame them, I remember those days.
So share..maybe I can use some ideas.
I've always wanted to use my free holidays to volunteer in a food kitchen, but now I have my dad...so much for that, at least this year.
Also with that flu going around, I don't really want to take him into a crowd.

Bobcat, no I don't have dial up. I have wifi from cable. The phone is part of the package, so I can disconnect the wire from the box and he can't use it. No dial tone.
I didn't have to. Things are just changing a little bit and I want to share. Also it's one of my resources of tracking...I write it here and read it later..LOL.
Also on Sarah K's post, I have struggled for months to get dad to wear those pull ups. It's a constant fight. I guess they're uncomfortable.
I wouldn't want to wear them.
Try to find the most comfortable style. Maybe something similar to her style of panties, and swap them out. But don't expect too much.
Now that they've reduced one of dad's meds his incontinence is much less frequent.
Every now and then I'll smell urine when I go into his room and I'll have to change his bed..but not daily like before. So I don't fight it.
You might have to get plastic protection for the bedding and change the sheets often.
Keep us updated.

Did you try the pull-up panty type?

I started my mother on just a regular pad in her own panties at first. She used to tell me, "You know, I don't get my period anymore." "yes, yes mom but this is just in case" Maybe that would help. Make frequent trips to the bathroom with her. You can always use throw away or washable bedpads for the furniture. This is a hard transition when they are somewhat aware of what's going on.

Wondering if anyone has any ideas on how to get Grandma into protective undergarments. She refuses to even try them on. We have tried logic, we have even tried explaining to her that the furniture is going to start smelling. Nothing is working to get her into them. Help!

Hello, secondchild, I doubt you have dial up, but a friend of mine does (only thing available in her area). She has figured out how to use that to her advantage, though. When her Mom is agitated or she is likely to be distracted for a while, she turns on the computer and the phone won't work. She and her son have cell phones so it is not too inconvenient.

Hi all...just wanted to add this progress report. Today dad wanted to call 911 to report that I was holding him against his will.
I told him 911 is for emergencies, but I could provide the number for the local police...(they know about him, he's flagged as high risk)
I didn't think he trusted me so I googled the local police and showed it to him.
Than he said he would do it later. He wrote down the number and put it in his pocket.
Hopefully he won't call in the middle of the night while I'm sleeping.
Sis knows and is prepared for intervention, but she's 100 mi. away.
These things happen every now and then, but it might be escalating. We'll see.
Just info for those also dealing. Bye for now.

Remember Mel Gibson "eating" the dog biscuits in order to stop smoking? The name of the movie series with Danny Glover escapes me just now, but anyway................
I'm convinced that if dog food won't kill dogs it won't kill us, and frankly, some of those uppity brand canned foods smell absolutely wonderful. Not that I would try those, but I've read the ingredients on some of the snack packs: carob, oatmeal, etc. One of my concerns would be breaking teeth. The other would be "Oh please, don't eat that in the store - wait until we get back in the car!"
I agree, it was really good that Dad was able to ask that question in the grocery store.
If the clerk straight faced answered him, I would send a special letter of thanks to the management - and shop there more often, with Dad in tow.

Bobcat I get your point..but here's the humor in the "military" thing.
He was career military. He reenlisted in all four branches, one after the other throughout his life.
He was in ALL the branches..but we have his retirement certs framed and hanging in the hallway.

Honey, he might remember his branch, like navy, army, airforce, etc, better than the term "military". but you never know. It is good he can recognize the med ins is important.
I know the cookie episode was like walking through the twilight zone. Sense of humor is so important. That one is a good one for "We Laugh to Survive". Actually, I am impressed that he truly grasped what you were saying in the pet store, transfered the info to the grocery store, and asked an excellent question of an appropriate person.

Way to go, Dad.

okay, so yesterday I had to get pet food and dish soap.
I took dad of course. We went to the pet store first..in this big box pet store there were bins up by the register with dog cookies shaped like oreos. Dad has a real sweet tooth so he stopped and picked one up. I explained that we are in a pet store and everything in the store is for animals..the cookies are for dogs, not people.
I was able to stop him from trying to purchase them for himself.
Then we went next door for the washing liquid and he stopped a person stalking shelves to ask her if the cookies up front were for animals..LOL.
I walked up and reminded him, we were in a different store now. He was a little embarrassed but today he forgot about it.
Tonight he came in and asked me if he had medical insurance. I reminded him he was in the military for 25 years...he said, "i was never in the military" oy vey..I showed him his retirement certs that we have hanging on the wall.
He doesn't remember..

Oh, thank you SC that was fun. The cat and rat was so cute and the girls are great.

My cats started chasing around after a wild mouse that got in a while back. One caught it, ran over to me and released it between my feet . Then Hubby had to catch it and take it outside (not sure exactly what happened after that )

I know I said I was finished...but this was dad's favorite in the show..
It's only the unfinished rehearsal..the costumes for the show were phenomenal and she came out into the house during intermission in her costume..Dad was so excited.."you're so beautiful" he said..he slept through most of it. I had to wake him up..over stimulation?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...90yg&feature=related
Okay I'm done now..promise.

oh and here's a rehearsal she asked me to record for last spring's recital..they did a whole segment of Annie get your guns, with some of the kids doing "anything you can do I can do better" etc..this was the opening..it wasn't finished, but you get the idea..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...LqpI&feature=related

Okay enough of my personal life I'll stop now..LOL
I'm gonna miss sharing with dad, he's beginning to sleep during rehearsals..it's too much so we can't go as much.

Thanks bobcat. As far as the dancer girl all I have that I can post is my own youtube and hers because the other stuff is copyrighted. But she recently adopted a cat..poor thing had to move in with my rat and guinea pigs and our pitbull.
It was interesting to say the least and dad got a kick out of some of the antics..I've included a few links. I hope you enjoy.
Oh and I want to say, Dad did allow us to have animals when we were young..but didn't like rodents or cats. Now he's happy to pet and cuddle with any and all of the animals. They give him great comfort and calm him. I've never seen this side of him till now.
They seem to know he is limited..it's really amazing.
This is the cat "bubba" and rat "amadeus
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrgP73W1Z6Q

This is Elizabeth with a little spare time in between teaching ballet and hip hop classes.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...O6g0&feature=channel

And another:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...F9cw&feature=channel

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...P-GXUO0&feature=fvsr

I think I posted this before..that's dad watching..elizabeth taught her student this routine and filmed it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v...sMUM&feature=related

Sweetheart, That sounds Great. Please keep in mind, we are trying to have the best result everyday for their self respect, their safety and comfort. It is NOT an easy task, and I sincerely applaud all who put their effort into this goal.

Keep it up, we are here for you.

How are the dancing girls? Have you got any new postings?

Hello site. Well, now it's been over a year. Dad still wants to walk down the street, which is over 4 miles, to get his money. However, what has improved is he gets up every 2 or 3 hours and uses the bathroom himself. Accidents are less frequent and I think it's because of lowering the zyprexa dose.
He gets tired more but still does a few chores..and stays at them once he starts.
I noticed a new post and am going there to suggest my experiences with meds.

Hi all. Well we've muddled through and I have been able to get dad stabilized on the lower dose of zyprexa. He's been sleeping alot lately, which is actually a blessing for me..but it makes him stiff.
We've done some walking, weather permitting. The yard is suffering because I can't be out there long enough and he won't help, that fine.
Today, he got up and got ready for work. He feels like he has something important to do and can't remember it.
It bothers him, but I'm gonna ride it out and see if it passes after his nap.
He's actually more coherent now and asking about his car (which was sold over a year ago) where we met, when did we move in here, etc..a lot of concerns he had last summer when he was just starting his meds.
He has another appointment with the nuero in two weeks.
We'll see then what's up.
His appetite has increased and he's even started reading the paper again.
Thanks for the support..