It's been one of those days. Dad is having a rough time, and is seriously not in touch with reality today.

Last night he went to bed at 9pm. By 11pm he thought it was morning and I had to convince him to go back to bed. He then kept getting up every 45 minutes or so. By 2am I gave up. He was up for the day. I tried snoozing on the floor upstairs, but every couple of hours he would holler at me, asking for breakfast. I have a couple of "carved in stone" rules, one of which is I DO NOT do breakfast before 8 am. If he wants to get up fine, but no breakfast until a civilized hour. I gave him a peanut butter sandwich and an apple. He then went back to sleep in the recliner.

So all day he sat there like a zombie. Occasionally he would start to say something, but he was struggling to find the words he wanted, and either he made no sense at all, or he just gave up and didn't finish the sentence. He would stand up, take a step, back up and sit down again because he doesn't know where he wants to go. Two minutes later he'd do it again. And again. By 5pm he was heading for bed. I tried convincing him that he needed to stay up for dinner, but again he just called me a f***ing b*tch and went to bed. Up at 6:15, then 7pm. Both times he wanted breakfast. I told him I could warm up supper if he was hungry. So he got mad and went back to bed. I had to wake him up to take his 8pm medicine. Again. He's been in bed 4 out of the last 5 nights before 8pm.

I'm sure that again tonight he will be up every hour or so. He just looks so lost. He doesn't know what he wants, or what he needs. And he's really lost his language skills the last few days, so he can't express what he wants. He wants/needs something, but doesn't know what. He can, however, still call me every foul and filthy name under the sun.

I know I should try to enforce bed times, and wake up times, but for the last few weeks he has been so angry at me all the time. He's taken a swing at me on several occasions. And even though he has a zillion medical problems, he is still strong as an ox. I'd prefer not to get my nose or jaw broken.

I don't know if this behavior is just from the Alzheimer's, or if it's from the medicine they put him on. He also has very very swollen feet and ankles, he's sleeping 20+ hours a day (mostly in the recliner) and his appetite has gone to hell. I'm having a terrible time getting food in him.

He has a doctor's appointment on Tuesday. I need to talk to his doctor, but it's hard to get time to talk to her alone when no one else goes with us. I don't want to leave him alone in the waiting room. He might just decide to take off on me, and roll his chair down the escalator. I'm going to call the office Monday and let her know that I need to talk to her. She's gonna just tell me that it's the progression of the disease. Maybe so, but I just got a $23,000 hospital bill that includes a CT, and over 45 different lab tests, so I would appreciate hearing what the results showed. I'd like some suggestions on how to handle the aggression and anger, because he scares me. I'd like to ask her about the headaches he is complaining of all the time. I want answers. I know there aren't any. I'm so frustrated.

I really really hate seeing him like this. Right now I think it's the heart problems that are wearing him out. He's permanently in Atrial fibrullation, and his pulse ox level keeps dropping. At some point they are going to have to get an oxygen generator in here. He's so tired, but he can't sleep for more than an hour at a time.

I'm hoping tomorrow will be a better day. My boyfriend built a huge bird feeding platform outside the kitchen window, so hopefully having another new place to bird watch will keep him occupied.

Jo O

(((Jo)))my thoughts and prayers are sent to you and your family at this difficult time. May your Dad's passing be peaceful and as pain free as possible. Please keep in touch when you can. Gypsy

Oh Jo! ((((hugs)))) Prayers going out to you and yours

Jo *BIG HUGS* to you.

May God help you find the strength in this emotional time.

You & your family are in my prayers.......

I am so sorry, Jo. My thoughts and prayers are with your family.

Early this morning Dad had a massive stroke. He is back here at home, and with hospice helping out he will remain here to the end, surrounded by his family... and a couple of cats (That's a dad joke)

We did have a CT scan done, and the prognosis is that he will pass within the next 12 hours. He is sleeping peacefully, and we are thankful that he is not in pain.

God bless all of you for the support you've given.

Jo O

I went on a hunt and came up with this Jo
Cardizem possible side effects
* an allergic reaction (difficulty breathing; closing of the throat; swelling of the lips, tongue, or face; or hives);
* unusually fast or slow heartbeats;
* severe dizziness or fainting;

***** abnormal behavior or psychosis;*****

* jaundice (yellowing of the skin or eyes); or
* swelling of the legs or ankles.

Lopressor
* an allergic reaction (difficulty breathing; closing of the throat; swelling of the lips, tongue, or face; hives);
* wheezing or shortness of breath;
* an unusually slow or irregular heartbeat;
* swelling of the feet and lower legs;
* leg pain or cramping;
* sudden weight gain (more than 2 pounds in one day or 5 pounds in one week);
* chest (heart) pain;
* unusually cold or blue feet and hands; or
* skin rash.

Sometimes a change in meds is a good thing Jo explain to the doc that he might be having an adverse reaction to the first (Cardizem) and if there is an alternate drug that he can use instead. Even if they have been on it for a while sometimes they just develop for some reason.
With things the way they are now I would think you would be entitled to more help here ask Doc if he has some ideas here for you and Dad.

quote:

PulseOx was 89

That's too low, Jo. The lowered O2 level may be exacerbating this problem. Does he use oxygen? It might help...

I am sorry he is going through this, but I am concerned for you - you sound very exhausted... whipped was the first word that came to mind. I hope that you can get some help in so that you can get some rest... so very important!!

It might be time to consider a nursing home for him... You can't live with all this out-of-control behavior for long!!

Right now he is on only cardiac meds - Cardizem, Lopressor, Imdur, a blood thinner - Coumadin, and supplements - OsCal and Vitamin D.

The doctor keeps saying that any drugs that address the Alzheimer's symptoms would make his heart condition worse. She's also concerned they would interfere with his mobility, since he has one parazlyed leg that doesn't bear weight, and can barely get around with his walker.

He has an appointment on Tuesday, and I am going to fax her some behavior logs I've been keeping. All the stress, frustration, and moving from room to room aren't helping his heart either. He is frightened, and frustrated, and there must be some kind of anti-anxiety med that would help.

Today I actually took his walker away from him so that he had to sit still long enough to catch his breath. (Pulse was 160, PulseOx was 89). That made him so angry that he went to the bathroom, smeared feces everywhere he could reach, plugged up the sink and flooded the room. All this in under 4 minutes, while I was on the phone with his doctor's service.

I finally literally forced him to bed. It won't last, but at least I may have time to post, because he knows I'm upset with him.

I am getting NO sleep at night because of his wandering. If I doze off during the day he immediately does something destructive. Pulls the curtains down, tips things over, whatever it takes to get me up and paying attention to him. I need inhome help desperately. I applied to the state. If he signs over all his life insurance (about 10k), then he would be eligible for $125 worth of respite per month. That's about 7 hours of "companion care" or 5 hours of a CNA. And then I would have to pay for his burial expenses out of my pocket. I make $813/month on disability. No way can I afford that. I'm counting on the insurance to pay off his bills, expenses, and to have just enough left to pay the deposit and first months rent on an apartment, since I sure won't be able to afford to keep renting this house when he's gone.

I feel like such a whiner, but I'm just so tired. Anyone have any suggestions for anti-anxiety meds that I can run by his doctor?
I'm also going to ask her whether he might qualify for some hospice assistance, but I'm afraid they will tell me he is "too healthy".

At least my dear daughter is coming in tomorrow to fix dinner for Dad and spend the evening so that BF and I can escape for a few hours.

About the UTI. He's been on IV antibiotics for 2 weeks. Any little germs that survived that would be some seriously mutant scary things, but I will bring it up with the doctor.

Really Snowy...Isnt nexium for stomache disorders?? interesting...me gonna look this one up!...I wonder what the properties are??? Thanks for the heads up!

I was put on Nexium earlier this year,my feet & ankles swelled up like you wouldn't believe.I took myself off it & the swelling finally went away.

Jo He wouldnt happen to be on Nifedical would he? This is to the swollen feet/ankles. If he is inform the doc MIL had to be taken off this(and one other (?) that is taken in conjunction with Nif.)
As Abbb mentioned have him also checked for a UTI while your at it.
Talking to the PCP well can you call the office and request a little private talk via phone? I do this myself here for MIL.
As to the anger sweetie take yourself out of the room when he starts to get like this. Always be watchful and wary of him try not to get too close but if you must stay with in the comfort circle (what I mean by this is not to be in arms reach of him but within his circle of reach, less damage to you and him) and always have one arm free to come up and swipe away from your body if he starts to hit/punch...Classic block move, you know kinda like karate or grab a pillow and place it in front of your chest for cushion just act like your giving him another pillow but take it with you when your done

JO O
I feel for you! I know that it is very tough when our LO's dont sleep. You must try to get your sleep with an ear open just to make sure they are all right.
Ihave found that I get much better service from my Dad's doc if I fax info to him. For one thing, I can list all of my concerns and have my wits about me because I am taking the time befor the visit to make sure I am covering everything. I do take a copy of the fax with me at the appointment and will not let the doc leave until he has addressed all of my concerns. All too often in this day and age, the doc's are trying to work everything into a 10 or 15 minute visit. Well when I make an appointment, I tell the scheduling person that I need a 30 minute appointment because there are several things to go over. Most of the time this is met with excuses but I insist. The scheduling person does not know my parents conditions and they are not the ones to judge how long the doc will need to see them.
If you have your Dad's medical durable power of attorney, you have a right to have all test results. Hospitals are famous for telling you that they will charge you for the information. I learned the hard way that I now request this information BEFORE discharge. If you insist, they will give it to you. I know that when they start talking discharge its time to tell them that I will be needing copies of all lab/test results so they can't pull the "It needs to be transcribed" crap on me. "Well get it transcribed and then we will talk discharge" it has worked so far.

I wonder, could Dad have a UTI? This is exactly how mine acts when he is having one.

Good luck and I hope Dad sleeps tonight