for three and a half years now /i have been taking care of my uncle.he has c/p and bipoler and is on a bunch of meds.he has been living with us for about 2 1/2 years now becouse his dr saud he couldnt live alone.in the past 7 months he has tryed to hurt him self tryed to give all his things away.thrown his things away and getting verbaly abusive.they have him on effexor for his mood but it does not seem to work.he has a feeding tube that he has pulled out 9 times this year.he thinks every one is out to get him.we were going to place him in a nursing home but they say he does not meet their guide lines.basicly he isnt bad enough yet.what to do.

Mom would have a problem crossing a black mat, not because of dementia, but because of her macular degeneration. It would look like a gaping hole to her. Many such rugs and mats are also trip hazards and must be used with caution (non-skid backings, for instance).

I, too, have seen that a dementia victim may also see it that way. Then again, they may reach a stage where they lose the notion of consequences (ie. what will happen if I step into a gaping hole?).

Like MB mentions, while it works, fine, but it might stop working at any moment, and plan B should be in place before the fact. We can only guess what goes on in a damaged brain.

I do like the idea that while possible, they willingly turn away from the door.

quote:

confusion over the black rug on the floor and I want to address that..I think it'll help whoever reads here.
I got that suggestion from this forum

Well, that "trick" is both a blessing and a curse. For many folks, a change in flooring is often visually misperceived and can cause someone to not want to walk from one floor area to another, even to become combative and fearful. Bathroom throw rugs come to mind... While one may use it deliberately to discourage an afflicted person from walking over it, such things also can prevent someone from cooperating with an activity we DO want (such as walking into a doctor's office, store, going into a shower, going from one room to another, etc.

To help prevent someone from leaving the home, it could surely be utilized but I would NOT solely depend upon that to prevent unwanted exits! The misperception comes and goes... so be SURE you are using secure locks, etc. to contain someone rather than simply relying on a dark rug - it could backfire on ya!

Excuse me bill, don't mean to step on your post..but Bunnys_grl said she'd never seen the confusion over the black rug on the floor and I want to address that..I think it'll help whoever reads here.
I got that suggestion from this forum..just FYI. I expected him to try to step over it or "up" on it..but he didn't.
He is truly confused by it..when I'm cleaning the garage I lock it from the inside so he can't come through the house door and put the black skid mat, it's about 3ft by 6ft, on the driveway at the garage door or just inside, and it keeps him out.
We are still sorting and selling and unpacking so it's kind of dangerous. If he gets dizzy or vertigo (side effect from meds) he could fall and land on so many things surrounding him..all could truly hurt him, not to mention the garage floor is cement.
That's all..any other comments regarding this, I'll post on my own thread.

Welcome, Bill... sounds like you have quite an interesting situation on your hands! PLEASE do consult a social worker or adult protection for assistance. I don't know what to suggest as I don't know the state in which y'all reside (programs differ from state-to-state), but I DO know that the squeaky wheel gets the oil! The only resource I can offer at this juncture is the United Cerebral Palsy Organization which specializes in finding solutions to problems for people afflicted with CP.
http://www.ucp.org/
You also didn't mention his age... that may make a difference in his qualifying for residential placement.

Give us a few more details and perhaps we can point you in a direction for assistance. While I have a huge amount of sympathy for his affliction, I also know that it can be devastating to a family to have to care at home for an individual who is not emotionally well controlled. Hang in there!

we have put a survalence system in for the whole house.and locked up all the dangerous things.he has 106 chanels on his tv but only waches what ever we are waching.what i mean is if we are wacking say csi then he wants to wach it on his tv but if we change what we are waching he get peed off becouse we should have told him so he could have changed his chanel to what we are waching.we tell him he can wach any thing he wants but he wont.

Sounds like someone done dropped the ball.Remember ALF's are not run by the same rules as NH much less lax,some sccept dementia some don't......

Hi there! It's a rough ride, isn't it?

I'm not a professional but from what you say, it sure does sound to me like he'd qualify to be in a nursing home with full-time nursing.

But there are levels of care that are less intense than that. Trying looking into assisted living homes in your area. They evaluate potential residents to be sure they don't need more care than they offer -- if they say he needs more help, that says pretty clearly that a nursing home would be the best option.

If an assisted living home says they can handle him, check into the home very carefully to be sure they really can. Do they have other residents with signs of dementia and how are they handled? If it turns out to be an option, assisted living is about half the price of a nursing home because they help their residents but usually don't offer actual medical care beyond dispensing medication, helping with bathing, and keeping them safe. The feeding tube might disqualify him and require a nursing home -- you'd have to check.

Depends on the place, but there are options that offer care that's in-between a home and a hospital. Worth looking into it. Big hug.

quote:

Also, someone suggested a black carpet or skid mat in front of the door would deter a dementia patient because it confuses them.

Seriously SC?
Oh Im so gonna try this, I havent seen this behavior ever but now Im gonna pay attention
Thanks

Hi bill. Don't take this the wrong way, but it sounds like you're resolved to put him in professional care. NH.
If not I will tell you that after months of trying to restrain my father the police finally told us that it's not illegal to lock him in for his own safety as long as he is not neglected..he still needs stimulation and excercise.
We got inside flip type dead bolts for the front and garage doors. And a dowel (sp) for the sliding glass door. So he is locked in every night..no exceptions.
He makes quite a racket trying to leave in the middle of the night..I sleep on the couch (ouch) which is less than 2 feet from the door so I wake up.
I don't have anyone to relieve me.
See my posts..you'll see that what you are experiencing is common and yeah, if he's self sufficient at all he may need a dr. referral to get into a NH, but they take it out of your hands.
They wouldn't take my dad because he was a drinker. They wanted him clean and sober for 6 months..now we can handle him so there's no point.
Also, someone suggested a black carpet or skid mat in front of the door would deter a dementia patient because it confuses them.
I didn't do that, however when Dad encounters such an object on the street or in the garage even, he is confused by it..
He says things like "how deep is that hole?" I say "just go back inside and I'll be in in a minute" He does just that.
Good luck!!

Hun you wouldnt be abandoning him you would be making people DO THEIR JOB. He sounds like he needs a Psych evaluation also if hes trying to hurt himself. Have you told his PCP this? If not please do so.
He can get your uncle in for an evaluation.

i havent even broke the ice on how bad it has gotten.but they have been here twice to assess him and both times he has not qualify.i cought him out on the porch at 115 2weeks ago it was 2 below and he was in his pj's so now we are taking shifts when ones awake the other is sleeping ,his dr says take him to the hospital and tell them i cant handel him any more but that just dont seem right to me.i cant abandon him there.

Sorry Bill I meant your uncle.
Ok I dont know why they are telling you he doesnt meet the criteria with what your saying so far Im speechless.
Medical Social workers are there to help find you placement for your uncle also find programs that he qualifies for.
There is alot of folks out there in the big bad world that cant handle a situation such as this so where do you think they end up? Thats rhetorical you dont need to answer. The point Im trying to make is whoever told you he doesnt qualify is pulling your proverbial chain.
If something happened to you heaven forbid he would BE in a NH. Period. You see where Im going with this.
It sounds to me like people dont wanna work so hard if ya knowaddimean.

Where is his family in all this besides you?

ceribal palzy i think thats how you spell it.its my uncle and yes he has a worker but they say as long as he can go to the bath room and move around he dont qualify.we have changed hi meds a cpl times but nothing seems to work.im at a loss.

Hello Bill could you please clarify "c/p".
We have a few members who can help with some of your issues so hang tight helps on the way
As for not meeting the qualifications to a NH I have to say I dont quite understand why. Have you tried places like a Board and Care facility or other?
Does your uncle have a Social Worker?
Have you tried getting his meds changed?]

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