My father who is 74 was in an automobile accident about 2 months ago. He was broadsided in an intersection, he had the green light, witness stated the woman had a definit red. She slammed him so hard, his pickup rolled over, when it did, the bed hit a pole. The driver side was on the pavement, he was helped out by good samaratins, his truck was totaled, and now is having to fight with the insurance companies to get his compensation.

He is a diabetic, he also has gout and on going foot infections. On his left foot, he has lost his big toe and a portion of his foot in that area. He now has an infection in his right foot, when he was admitted to the hospital two days ago, he called and said there would be a definite ampuation of the foot. We talked at length about it, he seemed informed, and pretty upbeat. As conversations progress, the worse the amputation was sounding, he had convinced me and my sister that the amp would be in the upper calf.

Well, when we went to the hospital to visit him today before his "surgery", which turned out to be a procedure to debride the infection and a few other minor things. We had a chance to speak to his DR. afterwards. She said there was never a conversation about the foot amp, that the bone was in no danger of infection and that after about 5 days in the hospital, he could go home and resume his normal schedule. She also said that sine he had the accident he has not been himself. (she sees him every week, so she knows everything about his life), she says she is concerned, but at the same time, a person his age who goes through such a traumatic accident sometimes starts having some dementia.

I hate to see this happening to him, he still works! He is going to be 75 soon, he is a very busy and vital man with a ridiculously busy social life.

I dont even know where my thoughts are going right now, just to say that if anyone here has some ideas to help my sister and I understand him and his mind right now, we would appreciate it.

BWB, what a treat to find her there and know she is in on this too.
MB, I do take her flowers from Mom's yard whenever we go, and sometimes just cause I know I'll be in the area. She loves flowers. Is that , "like", bribery? You are correct, though. When we need them, there is already trouble.

I have high hopes for my Dad, as we all do for our parents.

This is going to be a diffucult case, because he is so independant...I can't call him too often because he lets me know real quick that he is capable of taking care of himself. I guess so, if he has 3 different women seeing to him, plus his XWIFE {who has caused so much heart ache in our family, that if I should see her at the hospital, or anywhere, I will not bother wasting breathe speaking to her}.

He was excited to see my sis and I when we got to the hospital right before they took him in for his procedure. He said he was afraid he was going to go through this alone, that no one was going to be there. Turned out, one of his daughters from his 2nd marriage was there, we just kept missing her as we walked in and out of elevator doors. How funny is that? We ran into her when they had brought Dad out of day surgery. She is very young, but I was so glad to see her there doing things for him and trying to help him. I would not have given a plug nickel for her before hand, but just seeing her with Dad helped ease the memory of her repeated bleeding of his wallet....profuse tears melt so many do-do headed men. Crying got me nowhere with him, but I am 50 and she is 21. He was a different man back then. I think she and her older sister are the "Daddy's girls" that my sister and I never were.

Oh well, at least he had a chance at a "do over" that most people never get.

rambleramblerambleramblerambleramle....sorry ya'll.

I just want to see him get better, and back to his active lifestyle. That is why I am going to call his Dr. Monday morning.

Hope everyone has a little sunshine tomorrow!!!

quote:

I know this and yet still feel that every medical setting is a hot bed for more trouble.

Well, Bobcat, I 'spoze that is sometimes the case. I also think that sometimes we have a dim view because by this time in life, people frequently have a lotta things wrong with them not to mention independence issues, etc. It's not usually a happy time, and things do keep going wrong. There's a time to fight the good fight and a time to back off a tad. And there's a time to let go, too, as so many of us already know. Early in the game, we all fight harder to maintain whatever quality of life we can for them; later on, we just try to keep them happy and comfortable as we can.

In this case, BWB's dad was a vital man until the accident, so there's all kinds of reasons to try to find out what's causing the changes and see if it can be ameliorated or fixed... Might be something real fixable that would allow him to resume his active life.

But, I do understand what you mean - it's another situation that we have to watch over, go to appointments, arrange for therapy, etc.

I envy your mom having a doc that will go above and beyond for her like that - not the usual fare these days, is it? Send that woman some flowers!!

BC, sounds like your Mom is in good hands all around. Just getting help in the ER is extremely helpful.

Thanks for being so supportive!

BG, BWB, and all, I know there is no substitute for proper medical care when needed. I know this and yet still feel that every medical setting is a hot bed for more trouble. Just can't get past it, myself. One Doc has been Mom's best friend, she seems to feel like at Mom's age, the less I bother her, the better. But if I have a concern she we see Mom at the end of clinic hours any day after other patients, no waiting. Or she will call to the hospital to facilitate us in the ER as a priority patient, and meet us as soon as she can. We are so fortunate that she will take us seriously when we need her. I wish she was my Dr. But she can't take new patients right now.

Good goin', BWB. I hope that the neurologist finds something - ask for a geriatric neoro specialist if one is available - might have better ideas about how this sort of thing affects old folks and not just adults in general.

I hate to say it, but I feel the same way about hospitals and vet clinics... creepy places with all kinds of creepy germs.

T.O.R.P. What you have described is what happened to my daughter.She was stopped at a stop sign, this car , traveling at a high rate of speed, rear ended her.The began as a severe headache and progressed slowly.It took her at least 4 years to completely heal .Memory loss, double vision, white outs, neck and back pain.Could not tolerate certain lightening.Fighting with doctors when they did not want to listen to what she was experiencing.

BWB, hope they are able to find a simple reason for the change.Keep your hopes high.Our bodies can be so fragile.One never knows when or where something will happen to cause changes to happen.Please keep us informed

TORP & Mae, thanks for the info.

Dad is going to be in the hospital until Tuesday. I am going to call his doc and ask her to have him evaluated by a Neurologist before he leaves the place.

I am telling ya, after spending so much time at the hospital the last 3 months, it was very very hard for me to go see my Dad yesterday. If my sis had not been able to go, I would not have stayed as long as I did. Dirty, nasty places....hospitals are.

The neurologist explained to us that up until our 20s our brains grow to fill the skull cavity, but then begin shrinking. This leaves space between the brain and skull, and sometimes even a fairly mild jolt can cause the elder's brain to bang against the skull. It's a bit like "shaken baby syndrome".

Another thing to consider is that perhaps this confabulation (filling the gaps in memory with imagined discussions, although they aren't aware of it) might have been going on longer than you realized. This was what we experienced. She had been doing okay and appeared to be taking good care of herself, so we weren't involved in the day to day stuff and didn't realize that the things she said, sounding perfectly sensible, often weren't correct.

BWB, having seen my daughter after a car accident where she had head injuries I can tell you it can make tramatic changes.A thorough evaluation could reveal any head injury.This does not mean the symptoms will be permanent.With meds and times the symptoms may reverse them selves.A good neurologist is the answer.One that will have his best interest .
It seems we have to enjoy the good days free from worry because the bad ones creep up and seem to be ongoing

Oh no Blue! A break we need a break Lord...Repeat after me sweet one He gives us no more than we can handle...

Blue let the doc do her best for now. A head injury and Diabetes coupled with the issues he has already faced...Truth time...Diabetes... people really need to be alarmed with this disease. My Bio Grandfather went through what your dad is going through as well as my brother who passed. It leads to deficits in brain function. I have watched it I am experiencing it in my MIL I have changed her diet this is something you may want to look into I know for a fact taking things out of my MIL's diet and replacing with healthy foods has turned her attitude around for sure she still has outbursts but not as often as she used to have when eating whatever she put in her mouth.
If this is something you want to do give me a holler Ill give you some guidelines to follow sweetie
Hang in there your in my thoughts

BWB, since his doc seems to have a pretty good rapport with him, I would suggest that she refer him to a geriatric neurologist. An auto accident can have many effects on an old, fragile body. Since his truck rolled onto its side, I would expect for him to have bumped his head. Even a mild concussion can cause profound effects in seniors. I would also suspect that the force could have dislodged plaques from the walls of his blood vessels that could be causing TIAs. Since the accident was two months ago, I would expect for any transitory effects to be clearing up and to see him returning to normal. Since he is not, a thorough neurological workup may be in order. The forces involved can most certainly produce a temporary or permanent dementia.

Understanding his mind is not the issue - understanding the effects that the forces of an accident can have on a fragile old body is what's needed. Please ask the doc to refer him to a geriatric neurologist for a THOROUGH evaluation. Until you have those results, it's hard to know what to suggest... find out if there is anything going on with him and if a neurologist has any suggestions about treatment, medication, etc.

Does he have any history of vascular disease? If so, be sure to mention this to the neurologist.
Good luck!