Today would have been my husband's 53rd birthday. Happy Birthday Love, Ilove and miss you so much and wish you could be part of my new life here.

Mae, You are right and I am now only really grieving Doug's death. With mom, work and raising Danny there was always something more important then my feelings. Now with just me as Dan's here but on his own a lot of who I am now as to who I was is complicated. Before Doug and my mom it was my dad who was on dialisis, blind and had a leg amputated back in 81 so I've been though back there more a secondary caregiver I was still the one responsible to take him to and from dialisis 3 mornings a week. I also go to the cemetery to talk but my favorite place is the ocean to connect with not only him but my parents and grandparents as well. I was able to do this with the lighthouse challenge a few weeks ago and the peace that comes over me as well as the knowing they are with me is very comforting. I'm just taking things one day at a time. Work today but then Thurs and Fri. off(NJ teacher convention) and getting things set up here. Take care Mae.

Mar, possibly to were so busy with mom you never had the chance to really miss and mourn his passing.This is what I discovered after my aunt passed.I reacted in such a way, I fell apart.I soon realized I was also mouring my mother.All those feelings had been pushed down so deep.I went from mothers funeral , home to care for aunt and hubby..There is no required time for missing someone.The feelins will surface at the strangest times.That is ok. When you have loved someon , you will always miss them.They were the other half of you.When I am feeling lost and missing mother, I go to her grave, sit on the ground and talk with her.If need be, I cry.After ward such a different feeling comes over me.
MANY ARE UNABLE TO VISIT THE GRAVE, FOR ME , IT IS HEALING

Yes Mae I do know. I seem to be more aware of the signs since mom died. Before it he had to hit me on the head like the song at my nieces wedding and such. Now it's more of a feeling of him with me most times.

Marhis birtday is one to acknowledge.That day began the journey that would bring him to you.
So young he was to have left this earth.When you have experienced such love of a person the loss leaves such a void.You do know he is with you in spirit.He looks down from a bove with the same admiration as he had when he looked into your eyes and said I do.

Happy Birthday, Doug!
p.s.
Sprinkle gentle kisses on Mar from heaven, OK?

Happy Birthday, Doug. Big hug for you Mar.