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Experienced Member |
My father-in-law, who I called "Gpa" died yesterday here at home with us. It was unexpected I guess, although his birthday was Sunday and when that was done, he only lived another two days. He had diabetes for more than 40 years (perhaps for 50--a lot of years!), and a recent amputation simply had not healed. He knew the days were short, or perhaps he willed his own death to avoid the inevitable diabetic gruesomeness. It is hard to know. I found him in the morning, as I was going to install two motion sensor Hoot Owls I bought so that I would know via the baby monitor that he was moving around, as he would never call me for assistance, which he needed very very much. He said he didn't need my permission to pee. He died trying to pee by himself. We had checked on him 4 times during the night that night, and yet there he was dead by 7 am. He was alive (and annoying us as usual, poor man) at 4:30, but went to a better place soon thereafter. Death had been creeping in, now that we look back. We didn't recognize it at the time, or our role in it. We are grateful gma and gpa (my FIL aqnd MIL) sang hymns together the night before and gma read gpa all the birthday cards one last time. We are grateful my DH and I had a heart to heart talk with them and actually cancelled the NH admittance that was to take place the next day ("I want to live here, with my family."), and that he accepted the risks for himself of living with us rather than going to the NH to be suspended in life, but not really living it. We are grateful we all loved and supported each other that night of all nights, rather than being bitter. He really needed me to yell at, I think. I played an important role for him I think; and perhaps he did the same for me. Life is kinda odd and I am relieved to not run from crisis to crisis around the clock, but I actually miss the annoyances a little, and my DH feels guilty he was not perfect the last three days. Gma, my MIL, in her AD Bliss, was only told he went to heaven. "HE DID???? I DIDN'T KNOW THAT!!" Blessings to everyone, and peace for us all.
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Senior Member |
PG. Prayers and hugs your way.
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Senior Member |
I understand completely. My Dad passed away the night before he was to come home to us after his stroke had taken him on a painful journey to try to recover. My Mom also with AD was told the same. If it were not for the AD she would not be able to go on without him. I also believe that they are in a better place where there is no more pain and suffering. However, our loss of our LOs is difficult for us to bear. With deepest sympathy I wish you blessings to heal. |
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Senior Member |
PG I am so sorry for your loss. Sending (((hugs)))and prayers to you and yours. Gypsy
"Happiness comes through doors you didn't even know you left open." |
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Senior Member |
Dear PG:
You wrote these words so beautifully and honestly. I surely felt the loss you felt by your words. Life's end is always sad and mysterious. I'm thinking of you and your family. Big heartfelt hugs, Sandy |
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Senior Member |
PG, sounds like he lived his life well and was treasured. So happy he could go doing what he wanted to do, even if it was peeing by himself!
I know your homes feels a lot emptier, but I hope you will all let your little guilts go... you did something extrordinary in standing by him, loving and respecting him. My hat's off to all of you and my heart is full of joy for his release! How fortunate you all are to have had one another! Peace & blessings to you and yours. "She ain't heavy; she's my mother." |
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Senior Member |
((((PG)))) I am so very sorry for your loss.
May he rest in peace ********************************************** Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit. |
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Member |
God Bless you and my he rest in peace. |
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