Today is my Dad's birthday. He passed away a few years back. He was truly the finest man I've ever known. I miss my Dad. He fought a battle with lung cancer, lost a lung....and won the battle...for almost 12 yrs. It came back to haunt the other one. Mom and me took care of him at home....it was hard to watch him get weaker and weaker. But always so concerned over my Mom. He would hate to see how this monster AD has taken her away........
I love my Dad & I miss him. I am selfish. I am still angry he is gone. The night he took his last breath I had said it was "ok to go" just like they say you're supposed to. As the 3 of us lay on the bed, and he took the final sigh of a breath, my heart truly broke..
I will be strong for you Dad, because I know you are looking over Mom, please know that I will do my best to take care of her.
My heart hurts today....

I'd LIKE to say that as the years go by, it makes losing a dad easier... but I would be lying bigtime! Mine died 42 years ago and not a single day has gone by that I haven't missed him! His birthday was a few days ago - he would have been 93! I guess he knew best - somehow I don't think he would have appreciated being 93... The normal days - his birthday and the day he died - are always a little teary for me; but I still find myself missing him at odd times in-between. Sometimes when I hear some music I know he'd have liked... other times when folks aren't treating my mom right and I can FEEL him seething... As much as I missed with him, he missed even more... He never knew his grandsons or granddaughters - he'd have gotten a kick out of them. Every now and then I get mad at him for checking out so early in my life and I yell at him... but mostly, I just miss all the things we could have shared together and the things we did enjoy and share... Some things of today, he would have hated - especially what medicine and health care has become (he was a doctor); but the electronics and gadgets - OMG - he would have wet his pants at the selection available nowadays! But GAWD how he would have hated hiphop and techno... He cried like a baby when Nat King Cole died... how he loved that man's music! He would have approved of Harry Connick Jr., I think... and Natalie Cole would have passed muster with him, too.
...sigh...

Sandranne-it seems there are many of us here that still so much miss our Dads (or other loved ones) even after years. My Dad died of lung cancer too back in May 1971. He only survived a few weeks after he was diagnosed. I still miss him and often think of him-most of the memories are of fun times and some of his life lessons.(((Sandranne))) Gypsy

My Dad has been gone 5 years now. A non-hodgekins lymphoma of the spine. Every day I am grateful to him for the examples of courage and decency he set for us. I find great comfort knowing his life was well spent and I do miss him.

Your Dad was very lucky to have you care for him and now your Mom. To raise you to be the woman you are, he must have been a wonderful man and father.

Sandranne, I know how you feel and my dad died 11 years ago and I still miss him. With my hubby gone too Father's Day is hard for sure. My grams died 8/15 when over 30 years ago and I still miss her and can shed some tears that day. It's part of us. Those we loved will always be remembered and like BG said I'm sure your dad is proud of you and thankful for all you are doing for your mom.

Thank You SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much BG!
My Dad died 4 years ago Aug 11th and it still hurts so much. Your words were a great comfort to me as I get very mushy around this time.

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Originally posted by Bunnys_grl:

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Your not being selfish at all we all know how you feel it goes with the territory theres not a day that goes by with the passing of a parent that we dont think about them at least once a day whether its a fond memory or sadness over them leaving us here, couple that together with the task of CG and it hits an all time high some days...I often think of what my Mama or Gran would say to me when I get stuck in something Im doing, I ask what words of wisdom would you be tellin me at this moment when Im hitting a brick wall... I need you here with me....That anger you feel is sadness over the loss, its a fine line and often misunderstood...
Those words of wisdom are within us and all we really need is a hug from them so I close my eyes and imagine the last time I was within their arms getting those sweet hugs...
He is with you watching over you, know that he is proud of you and all your doing for mom he taught you strength to carry on.....That is a precious gift baby have faith in yourself, he does

(((Sandranne))) Your not being selfish at all we all know how you feel it goes with the territory theres not a day that goes by with the passing of a parent that we dont think about them at least once a day whether its a fond memory or sadness over them leaving us here, couple that together with the task of CG and it hits an all time high some days...I often think of what my Mama or Gran would say to me when I get stuck in something Im doing, I ask what words of wisdom would you be tellin me at this moment when Im hitting a brick wall... I need you here with me....That anger you feel is sadness over the loss, its a fine line and often misunderstood...
Those words of wisdom are within us and all we really need is a hug from them so I close my eyes and imagine the last time I was within their arms getting those sweet hugs...
He is with you watching over you, know that he is proud of you and all your doing for mom he taught you strength to carry on.....That is a precious gift baby have faith in yourself, he does

dear sandranne, it is so common to feel the emotions you feel. i still cry buckets on my dad's birthday and father's day ,etc. i don't think those feeling ever fully go away. and although you told him it was ok to go, it ended his suffering, not yours. once a heart is broken it never truly mends. there will always be a part of you missing.it sounds like you are a very loving family and i imagine you are very angry he was taken from you far to soon. i'm so sorry for your loss. happy birthday to your dad for he will always live on in your hearts.