Mom died Nov 14, 2006. 17 days after her 74th birthday. The week after her birthday she told me, "you know this will be my last Christmas". Unfortunately Lewy Body and God had other plans.

I "managed" Thanksgiving without her but Christmas is going to be extremely hard. It was her favorite holiday and time of year. It was when my brother & his family came over and spent time with us.

Christmas eve was always special. Together, Mom & I cooked our family eve dinner & she made her famous raspberry salad for the next day.

After dinner Mom & I had "our time" while we wrapped presents and waited for the kids to go to bed so Santa could come.

In the morning, Mom would make a special flavored coffee-like peppermint stick, keep the kids from opening the presents & let me sleep in till 7am.

This year there is no Mom or no brother & family coming over(even though I invited them). Just me & the kids Christmas eve then hubby will be home from work Christmas morning. It will be quiet around here, especially Christmas Eve with out my "partner in crime".

Treasure those times w/LO's (good & bad) because in a blink of an eye they could be gone.

Thanks Mae, I couldn't get to the cemetery today, brother never showed, so it felt good to be able to light a candle for my hubby

Mz. Lisa I can feel for you. It took Dan a few years of holidays without his cousing to get use to it too. It's true that at that tender age they really don't fully understand what is going on elsewhere as they are just happy to be playing with the other kids. Perhaps there are some neighbor kids that can come for an hour or so to play? I "borrowed" my neighbor's kid at their convienience so Dan had company to play with and they actually enjoyed the break. Know you are in my prayers at this time and Merry Christmas to you

Thanks everyone for your posts.

We do have many traditions that were started when I was young & have been continued w/my kids as well.

I guess the hardest thing for me right now is helping my children. Dealing w/gram's death has been especially hard on my 6 yr old and add to that he doesn't get to see his cousins AGAIN makes him especially sad and that breaks my heart. He's too young to remember all the "drama" & feuds of past holidays.

Docka-once I figure out the recipe. (Scant cup, "handful" & "splash") I will be happy to share it. Love those passed down for generation recipes!

My great grandparents grew raspberries, apples & strawberries when they first came here. So as years passed the recipe was converted & changed some. Guess the rest is up to me now.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!

I too miss having family at Christmas. We use to do Christmas Eve with my husband's family. They are still with us but no longer wanted me to join them and my son refuses to go now. It's been 7 years and each year I do invite them here but they don't want to come. I miss my husband's excitement and all the plans. This year my son is not even into it at all because of his breakup with the girlfriend so not much got done. I'll make the traditional dinner tomorrow and we'll just chill. I already made my mom some chocolate mousee as a special treat. Hang in there and like someone said try to start a new tradition with your kids as well as handle whatever old traditions you can. Let yourself feel too, it's normal.

Xmas does represent the coming to gether of friends and family.I too miss the two people who were always a part of our xmas.Fortunately we do have movies we took .But we have wonderful memories that are stored insideWe could tell you what my mother and aunt would say when they saw all their gifts.The feeling someone cared when they opened the gift.I can hear mother, at her worst time mentally, singing along with Bing Crosby and White Xmas.We always had a family ritual on xmas day.We each shared the opening of each others gifts, one person at a time.So many of the loved ones have left us and our childre set up a ritual witin their own families on xmas day.But we continue to have that gathering a few days before xmas.Those we loved have passed but the memories can never be erased.I still have the very plates from the time I was 4 years old.When we would come down stairs they were filled with fruits , nuts and candies.An ornament that was passed down from ones parent.
I do think xmas music is so beautiful but theere is a certain sadness with the tunes.My mother loved xmas music but I always new there was a certain sadness she had when hearing them.Like us , she has lost ones she loved so much and their absence was heart felt.I thankgod I have grand children that keep the spirit alive.They will remember the family tradition and carry it on.Our loved ones live through us as we will live on through our children.What a wonderful thought that is.
My husband was never one for xmas.Why, I have no idea.He never showed the spirit the rest did.He loved the presence of family but that is it.It was up to me to make the day one they would remember from year to year.

Dear Ms Liza,
Your "partner in crime" is right beside you when you continue traditions that you shared.
It's sooo difficult at holidays, especially the first and your separation being so recent.
My comfort is the feeling I get when I do the things that remind me of my Dad, and how his spirit is near me even though I can't see him.
Of course crying is expected for the pain of their physical loss. You will never forget and I personally think you shouldn't.
Can I have the recipe for her raspberry salad?

(((Lisa))) I understand what you mean about Christmas. I think I said somewhere else here that I have a love/hate relationship with Christmas. Since you have kids still at home and a relatively new hubby can you start some new tradition that will mean alot in years to come-maybe something that would make your Mom smile(I am sure she would want you all to have a good Christmas especially the grandchildren.) My prayers are with you and your family at this difficult time. Gypsy