My grandmother was the light of my life! My best friend, my confidant, my partner in crime, my teacher, my biggest cheerleader, the woman who LOVED ME THE MOST! She passed away 4 years ago and was buried the day before Thanksgiving.

As I was sitting at my kitchen table last night finishing up the deviled eggs, I had an overhwelming sense of lonliness come over me. We always sat in her kitchen, before Thanksgiving,we prepared fruit salad, and Dressing. There was never a recipe, you just had to know how to put it together, and OH how I wish I had written it down. I can still see the golden color of it, the taste...and the smell. But never, have I tasted anything so moist, so savory, so dangerously addictive that you could hurt yourself so fast by going back for thirds!!!!!

She was always there for me, helping me with my babies, taking care of them when I needed a break. She taught me how to quilt, I learned from her that others need things more than we do. If there was a fire, someones home had burned, she was on the phone, getting donations of new clothing, and calling her friends, sending out a message that certain items would be needed to take care of this family! She always got what she had asked for, she never gloated about it.

I miss her sweet voice, I miss the way she said "Hello" when she answered the phone. How she would admonish me, when I was wrong. She loved me so much, and always told me how important I was to her, and how much she loved me!

I was not there the day she passed, I had gone home to care for my two very young grandchildren. I got the call from my Mom, she and her sister had stepped out of her room, to eat dinner that some neighbors had brought in. When one of them went back into the room, she was gone.

If I could go back, the last day I had sat with her, when she fell asleep, I would have crawled in the bed with her, and cuddled her up,as she would have me, and laid with her and held her for hours!!!!!!!

You think you will never forget the moment, the time spent together, the cooking and baking. The discussions about how we are supossed to be good people and take care of those down on their luck. I wish I had kept a journal of our times together. Never have I laughed so hard with another individual in my life!!!!

I miss you my sweet "Mamaw", I wish that just once more, I could put my hand on your smooth soft face, and kiss you, and tell you how much I love you forever and ever!!!!!!!!!!!!

We will see each other again, and I know that your body is whole again, and there is no more pain!!!!!!!!!! It is very comforting!! Till we meet again!!!!!!!!!! I love you!!!!!

Mar, these days are bitter sweet, huh?

I remember the pic you posted of your Mom last year, she was wearing a christmas sweater/sweatshirt right? I think it was red, or you were wearing it, at any rate, I do remember the love you had in your eyes for your Mom,and I know you are missing the person she once was. And Doug, not to mention him last, but you did not have time to grieve for him as you were being such a devoted daughter. I think you are finally letting yourself feel the depth of your loss in him. It's ok honey!

Just keep on doing what you are, I am going to make a post on "family" elsewhere on this site, not sure where yet because it just popped into my head and I want everyone to read it!

Thanks for the hug, I needed it, backatcha!!!!

Blue, Just want to send you a big hug. I miss my gramps still and it's been 27 years. He held us together. Grams died when I was little and I only remember bits and pieces of her. I had a kid come and help take down my Christmas boxes today and get the landlady's boxes in the attic. I've broke down quite a few times. Holidays can be like that and I am missing my mom finally the way she was before she was ill. That on top of Doug and having no family, (ya I left my brother and his family a voice mail to say happy turkey day but of course got no reply)After 45 years it's hard to decorate this house as things are cut for the old one but I'm adjusting. Tomorrow I'll work on the village and plan to be done by Sun. night so I can enjoy the next few weekends not decorating.

Thank you all, its good to have such fond memories!

I miss her sooooooo much today! She helped make me the person I am today, she showed me how to form my heart!

hugs to you all!!!!!

quote:

I miss you my sweet "Mamaw", I wish that just once more, I could put my hand on your smooth soft face, and kiss you, and tell you how much I love you forever and ever!!!!!!!!!!!!

You just did Blue she can hear you
{{{Blue}}}

BWB, your dedication to you grandmother was so beautiful.
My grand mother, too was so important in my life.Sadly she passed when I was fourteen.I was present when she took her last breath.I lost so much that day.I called her mom and my mother, mother.She was the one that made such an impact for me at such a young age.I can sit here and see her face .I can see the many things we did together like it was yesterday.
She was a kind women that set boundries on right and wrong.
I recall she would go to town , stop at the bakery and buy me pieces of gingerbread with icning as she knew how much I loved it.She had such good principles that she bestowed on me.
When I recall my aunt and mother , they were definitely their mothers daughters.
They had character that is being lost.A sense of careing for others that is becoming less and less.They truly . all were an inspiritaion to the good values I have today.
I think your and mine are looking down and smiling.Saying they are happy they gave us such wonderful and memoriable memories.
Sadly so many grand children are not experienceing this because of the many afflicted with dementia.A lost they can never truly realize until their later years.

Blue, I am thankful you had such a wonderful grandmother to share so much with. Sounds a lot like mine!

Blue, sending you big hugs, ((((()))))