I wanted to let all of you know that my Mom passed away on weds. night @ 8:30.
she went peacefully with me on the bed beside her. My daughter was holding her hand and my hubby had just walked into her room.

Thank you all for the support you have given me during this time.
God Bless each and everyone of you.

Janie, I found when I am under extreme stress I dream about my mother but it is a comforting type of dream - not scary or anything like that.

I always say I get really mad at kids today who verbally abuse their parents. If they only knew what you and I are going through, they would open their eyes and see they are lucky to have parents. I wish I had my parents around when I got older (like in my 60s).

But we can wish all we want but nothing is going to bring our parents back so they are alive in our memories. And I have great memories of both my parents.

Steve, actually on March 20th, it will be seven years since Mother passed and I still sometimes "catch myself" getting ready to dial her to ask about something. "Talking about it" DOES help; it just takes time.

One of the biggest (most difficult) things for me to accept was that I found I had "no one to call" after I'd be out on the highways and get safely back home. Mother (and Daddy) would always say, "call me when you get home." And, I would. But then, to have no one to call was awful. Such a tiny thing I had taken for granted .....

Steve and Patty and everyone whose loved one has passed away .... remember, it takes time. And, for me, yes, talking helps!

And then, when the dreams of them began, they were strange in the beginning but evolved into loving dreams. Sort of like they "just stopped in for a visit" ....

Janie, you are absolutely right. I was dazed just like you. Suddenly I do not have parents any more.

But I found if you talk about it, it gets better. Unlike most people, I like talking about theirs or my loss.

quote:

Originally posted by OCSurfCity:
Patty, I am in my 40s and lost my mother when I was 35. Some times I find I am bitter because I lost my parents at such a young age and that I never produced any grandkids.

My emotions were like a roller coaster the first few days after my father's passing. I think I had tears mostly because I missed him. I was worse when my mother passed away.

What helped me is this:

"To be remembered is like never having passed away. To be forgotten is like not being remembered at all".

Steve, I am so sorry you lost your mom when you were 35! That is so young for you. And, now your dad. It is so hard to be without parents, especially when you had a good relationship with them. I kind of walked around in a daze-like state after my mother died - maybe I was in shock, I don't know. But, after Daddy died, I realized I was then grieving the both of them. And, I never thought I would pull myself out of it.

I like the quote you shared. My parents will always live on in my heart.

Mar, the grandkids are the light of life!!
They are..2 boys; 4 y.o. and a 6 month.These are the 2 I babysit.

then I have another granddaughter that is 2 and she has a brother that just turned 1 month.

then my son and his wife have a girl that just turned 3 months.
It's my youngest that is expecting. she is due in Sept. / oct.

OC, thankyou. I will remember that phrase.

Patty, I am in my 40s and lost my mother when I was 35. Some times I find I am bitter because I lost my parents at such a young age and that I never produced any grandkids.

My emotions were like a roller coaster the first few days after my father's passing. I think I had tears mostly because I missed him. I was worse when my mother passed away.

What helped me is this:

"To be remembered is like never having passed away. To be forgotten is like not being remembered at all".

Patty, Congrats on the new grandbaby coming your way! So how old are the grandkids? Bet they keep you young. Enjoy watching the growth. It helps balance things...that's why I do pre-k!

Janie Hi, thanks for asking. I am doing OK. some pretty rough days and nights. I think it's harder when it finally sinks in......Mom's not here anymore and she is not coming back.

Yes, the grandkids are coming again. I get them 2 days a week now. They are al doing just wonderful.
We are expecting another one due at the end of sept. or early oct. ( not sure if I told you or not)
Very excited about that.
Got to go the boys are here.....
see ya' later.

Patty, how're you doing today? Have you had your grandchildren over to visit? And, how's that new baby doing?

quote:

Originally posted by arubawannabe:

My Mom was always cold...never could keep her warm enough....but a few minutes before she died she had us take her fleece bedjacket off...she was way too warm...hot she said.....then a few minutes later she passed.

I know that she saw the face of God and that is what finally made her warm.

Patty What a wonderful thought! Thank you so much for sharing it with us.

OC.....I am so sorry to hear that your dad passed away.
I do believe in the Lord. My faith is and always has been very strong.

My Mom was always cold...never could keep her warm enough....but a few minutes before she died she had us take her fleece bedjacket off...she was way too warm...hot she said.....then a few minutes later she passed.

I know that she saw the face of God and that is what finally made her warm.

Patty, if you believe in the Lord, He specifically stated, "He who has faith in me shall have everlasting life".

I know your pain as I lost my father last night.

Awww, honey. I know it hurts. I'm sorry.


I knew I was healing after I began remembering my parent's birthdays, as opposed to remembering the day they passed. It took me a long time.

And, it takes as long as it takes.

(((((((((( Patty ))))))))))

Janie, thank you.
Yesterday was 3 weeks.
It's so hard to believe it's been that long.

When I went into her room this morning I could swear I heard her oxygen.....

Patty, thinking of you.

Patty, sounds like making "mom's room" into "your room" is a beautiful idea. And, it will make it that much more meaningful. Wicker, plants and sunshine, plus it was "mom's room." A very special mix.

It'll be an emotional journey for you ... and being a "blubbering fool" will more'n likely play a big part of it. It's ok!!

Janie, thank you for asking.
Yesterday was a real rough day for me.
I was a blubbering fool all day and into the evening.

I want to get Mom's room cleaned out. It is too hard to pass it all the time and her not there but all her things are. I think once I start that it will help me. I talked to my sister yesterday...the first since the funeral....she says she is going to come up next weekend and help me clear Mom's things out. I won't hold my breath. I want to start cleaning my house. since Mom has lived here I don't think I ever totally got the whole house cleaned from top to bottom. I think if I get Mom's room cleared out I am going to make it my room. I have always wanted a room with wicker furniture and a place to display all my plants. that room has very large windows and the white colonial blinds.

The baby was born exactly 2 weeks to the day that Mom passed away. so of course that was tough.

as far as dealing with it. I think it is now just sinking in. like I said yesterday was bad, today is a little better. I miss her so much. I know I complained about her needing me so much and having to wait on her hand and foot.....well, now I'd give anything to be able to do that.
The one thing that makes me feel good about all this is that we had some real nice talks. especially the few days right before she died. so we said all the things we needed to say and to help make the "passing" easier for the both of us.

Hi, Patty

Correct me if I'm wrong, but ...... What conflictual emotions you must be having right now.

While you are filled with pure joy and bliss over the birth of this new grandchild ... how are you dealing with the loss of your mom? Or, maybe I should have asked, ARE you dealing with it?

I initially encouraged you to talk about "our mutual" grandchildren because I thought it might help with your grieving. I'm asking this because I've seen your name up on that home page banner, but no further posting on how YOU are doing.

Not meaning to sound "pushy", but I truly am concerned with how you're "emotionally coming along."

Hope that sweet boy and your daughter are well.

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!! There is nothing like a baby to make the world all right. Also enjoy the time with your granddaughter. I'm sure you are making her feel very special as a big sister!