"Auntie Veeerrraaa?"

My gurlfriend!!! Only YOU could post such an hilarious post to me. I swear, I had to laugh outloud!

Thanks, everybody, for the good vibes!

~ Janie ~

Auntie veeerrraaa is on her way. As soon as I can tie this cape on. (directionally challenged people know when to give it up)
Janie, you have your hands full. I am having such a hard time dealing with empty house syndrome. Can we share?

Here have a forum formular

Bless his pointed little head?????? only a mother could say that.

better have anther one

Umm that one was supposed to be mine.

One more for you two for me (I gotta catch up)

Better give one to Bill better make it two (more) Hey gimme those back, they were supposed to be for me!
One for jeremy one for his nose and another one That one was supposed to be for the nose. While we're at it better mix up a virgin one for Kalee

Slow down gurl! Here you wear the cape. I'll go back to finding my way.

Hey you taught me how to copy and paste. Hoping things get easier for you friend.

May the frog have mercy on my soul.
Power to the puppets and peace to all people.

[This message was edited by veeerrraaa on October 14, 2003 at 11:15 PM.]

[This message was edited by veeerrraaa on October 14, 2003 at 11:16 PM.]

Janie, there seems to be no rest for the weary.I have always said " YOU CLIMB THE MOUNTAIN, REACH TE TOP AND FIND ANOTHER MOUNTAIN TO CLIMB" YOU HAVE CLIMB SOME VERY STEEP MOUNTAINS AND ARE TO BE COMMENDED.I HOPE YOU ARE ABLE TO GET THE PROBLEMS RESOLVED IN A POSITIVE WAY AND FIND THAT SILVER LINING THAT YOU DESERVE.SO NICE TO HAVE YOU BACK!!

Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keeping what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blowing the rest away.

Ok, I met Jeremy at the doctor's office this morning. His face looked so stressful, it was hard to try and remain calm.

Cut to the chase >>>>> the doctor didn't pussyfoot around with using the word malignancy. He simply said "it may be, but I don't think it is."

It's a tumor, growing, in his right nostril.

We looked at the x-rays; it's big; very big.

He said Jeremy will have to go into the hospital to have the tumor removed. Sometime in the next 3-4 weeks; he doesn't want to wait any longer than that.

My son and I sat there, in the doctor's office, on the edge of our chairs. At one point, I put my hand on his right knee. He didn't pull back; just laid his hand on top of mine and we intertwined fingers.

I asked the doctor, "How common is this?" He said, "not very common at all."

ME: "What CAUSES this?" He said, "sometimes a blow to the nose or an accident." Jeremy recalled none of the above. He actually said, "Hell, I'd remember that, if it'd happened." Sooooooo, we still walk down the HUMOR PATH to deal with the misperfection of life and its consequences.

Afterwards, Jeremy took me to lunch () and we "skirted" around talking about the issue at hand. For a little while, anyway ..... it's not "my style" to evade issues. We then began to talk about all the "what if's." I told him that maybe there was a reason behind the fact that he needs to "slow down" some in his business. Hummmmmmm, could this be the method? I don't know.

Anyway, at lunch, he introduced me to many of his friends at Vinnie's. He told me he wanted to take me there to "show off my Mom." Bless his little pointed head. Dear God, I love that boy!

So ......... again we fast forward to this afternoon. Kalee came home from school with bright red cheeks. Told me she'd felt dizzy in school. I gave her the old "Momma check" for temperature and told her she had a fever. "No I don't." (It's "skate night" for their school.) I stuck a thermometer into her mouth and it read 101.2F.

"No, baby, we're not going skating."

"But, Mawmaw, I've GOT to go. All my friends will be there."

"Sorry, sweetheart. I'm not taking you, because I love you. Sometimes true love equals TOUGH LOVE, and THIS is an example of "tough love. If I were YOU, I'd feel the same way as you do; I'd be disappointed and angry. Just want you to know that I understand."

She's in bed. I'm in dread. I can't conceive comfort in my head. What the doctor said. Repeats in my head. It repeats in my head. It ........

Yeah, Melissa ......... "bring on the rain" ... very appropriate.

~ Janie ~

[This message was edited by Janie on October 14, 2003 at 04:51 PM.]

"Bring on the Rain" huh Janie? Sounds like the caregiver to the world could use a caregiver to bring her chicken noodle soup, give her back rubs and foot massages - oh heck, maybe just a trip to the Bahamas and do it right.

In other words, you need a break chick. Now you're getting sick. Yeah, I know, sometimes life dictates that ya gotta push through it and do what needs to be done - especially when someone you love is counting on you and there's no way you'd be anywhere else but with them. I just wish you could take some time for yourself too. Everything that's been going on for awhile now - you must be exhausted.

Praying for some all-around peace in your life - starting with Jeremy getting a clean bill of health today. Love, Melissa

"Whatever tomorrow brings, I"ll be there-with open arms and open eyes"

Yes, Miss Janie, Thats what makes you special. Your ability to give.

That really rots, Grandparents should be entitled to the same amount. Are they encouraging placement? Just because neither parent has insurance doesn't mean it's not available to them at a cost. I can't imagine. Geez, I spent my entire paycheck on medical insurance and daycare and was just peachy. One should know or at least be able to learn what your priorities are before you reproduce. They messed Kalee up, they outta at lease pay for her therapy, not to mention everyday life expenses. Ever consider.............Nevermind. Too late he's too old. I wish everything well with Jeremy tomorrow. Allergies an stuff have been so bad this year, it might be something like that. brenda

May the frog have mercy on my soul.
Power to the puppets and peace to all people.

OK, tomorrow - at 11:15, I go with my son Jeremy. Back to his doctor to find out about this tumor, polyp or whatevertheheck it is. This frightens me so!

Brenda, regarding the $$$$$$$$$ from Kalee's parents ...... neither one has health insurance. I've taken Kalee to the dentist, back in June and Dad paid the bill. Kalee has been in therapy twice a month, to the tune of $100 per session. Up until the end of September, each parent was giving me $50 per session. (Bill and I spent the first $200 before the parents started kicking in.)

Now, however, son has started his own business and is short on cash, so he says. Mom didn't offer me anything when she saw Kalee this past weekend. I've been told by DSS that, as grandparents, we could only collect approx. $150/month. If we were foster parents, it'd be alot (a whole lot) much more.

I've been very sick today. Stress-related, probably, as I "had it out" with my son (Kalee's dad) on the phone yesterday. Either stress or a bug. Don't know; don't care. Just know I've gotta be "back at the ready" tomorrow to accompany Jeremy to his doctor.

His dad called me yesterday to find out "what's going on" around here. Boy, did HE get an ear-full! How convenient that he is out of town/out of state and is living a happy little life riding his motorcycle and dating. No responsibilities whatsoever ... or any that I know about anyway. Oh well, such is life. At least, I know my parents would be proud of what Bill and I are trying to do in a little girl's life.

No time. I'm late; I'm late. For a very important date. No time to say Hello/Goodbye; I'm late, I'm late, I'm late.

~ Janie ~

Maybe Kalee is where she belongs. What if she can never go back to either parent? If her Mom is willing to compromise that's a good sign, but if dad isn't willing to give then you are all back at square one again. Did yah ever consider spanking your kid? If he's gonna act like a spoiled child then treat him like one.
One more question? Are you getting any support from either? Child support laws world give you 1/4 to 1/3 of each paycheck before taxes. Maybe hitting them in the pocket book might wake em up a little? If you don't use the $$ then put in an account for Kalee's college fund or her dowery or something fun.

May the frog have mercy on my soul.
Power to the puppets and peace to all people.

quote:

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Originally posted by Janie:


Geez, my previous life must've been very boring for me to be having all this drama right now. SOMEONE needs to STAND UP for this child. Guess it's going to be me?

~ Janie ~

---

Kalee is so lucky to have you and Bill right now. There are many kids out there that are not so lucky. Too bad her Dad is so bull headed or something not to want to work things out for the sake of Kalee. You have every right to be and I am sure sad at the same time. Sometimes life is so unfair. Whatever happens you know you did the best you could and have taught Kalee many valuable lessons about love and fairness and caring that she will always remember. (Kalee's Dad reminds me SO much of Mike's ex.-using the child to get at an ex. spouse. )Hope somehow things work out for Kalee so everybody can be happy that a solution was found that supports, not hurts Kalee. Gypsy

Just talked with Kalee's dad. HE and his current wife have turned down "yet another" attempt at COMPROMISE regarding Kalee. Kalee's mom presented them with a compromise situation this morning. It sounded very fair to me, but I kept my opinion(s) to myself.

Son called a little while ago to tell me there had been an attempt at conversation. I just played dumb -- easy for me to do at times.

This whole situation is all about nots!

-- I'm NOT going to agree with anything you say.

-- I'm NOT going to participate in any kind of compromise.

-- I'm NOT going to kiss your ass, even if it DOES benefit our daughter.

-- I'm NOT going to act like an adult.

-- I'm NOT willing to see beyond my BLINDERS and belief system.

-- I'm NOT going to do Jack #$%^, if it inconveniences me.

I am livid. I told him that if "you so-called adults" cannot make a decision for this CHILD then she doesn't stand a chance in hell of having a healthy maturity.

If you cannot make a decision, for HER, then you are not worthy of being a parent. It's all about winning!!!!!!!!!!!!

I told him that if we had not taken Kalee in, then she'd be in a foster home. ("Do you KNOW that?????") He said he did. "Kalee does not BELONG HERE!!!!!!!! She is happy and well here, thank God, but she BELONGS with a parent!!" As far as I am concerned, she could stay here forever, but THIS is NOT where she "belongs." YOU are falling into the role of grandparents, in that you only see her on the weekends. I am in the role of her Mother; Bill is in the role of her father. This just isn't the way it's "supposed" to be for HER!!!

Son and wife are so damn critical of Kalee's mom that they cannot see they are doing harm to Kalee. This really ticks me off!!!!!!! Can you tell?

Poor little girl. I told son that she is like a boat, out in the middle of the ocean, all alone, with no one to bail her out.

Geez, my previous life must've been very boring for me to be having all this drama right now. SOMEONE needs to STAND UP for this child. Guess it's going to be me?

~ Janie ~

"BABY UPDATE"

Jeremy "survived" the scan, but said he didn't like the IV they put in his arm. He and I will go to the doctor next Tuesday at 11:15.

Thanks to all of you for your concern and prayers!!! He may be 32 years old, but he is still my baby.

~ Janie ~

Janie,
Just offering my own wishes for a simple solution to your son's nose obstruction. I am not surprised that he wanted you to accompany him to the doctor. He knows where to get the best support available

((((Janie))))My prayers are with you and Jeremy. Gypsy

Oh Janie, absolutely and positively I will put Jeremy in my prayers that this turns out to be something very simple and very treatable. And I'll keep you in my prayers as well - a mother who dearly loves her son and needs support now as well.

Take care Janie. Love, Melissa

"Whatever tomorrow brings, I"ll be there-with open arms and open eyes"

While Kalee seems to be doing ok ......

Yesterday, I received a call from my "baby" ... my younger son, Jeremy. He wanted to know if I know of a good Eye/Ear/Nose/Throat doctor because for the past 2-3 weeks, he's had something growing in his right nostril. Lots of nose bleeds and he says it seems to be growing. He says he can't even breathe through his right nostril. I so totally got LUCKY and got him an appt. for 8:50 this morning. Wait......

Just now, the phone rang and it was Jeremy. He said the Dr. doesn't know what it is in his nose and he has to have a CT scan tomorrow morning at 7:30 am.

DEAR GOD!!!!!

Would you please add him to your prayer list?

He will go back to the Dr. next Tuesday at 11:15 for the diagnosis. I asked him if he wanted me to go with him and he said yes.

~ Janie ~

Yep, everybody is still in counseling.

We - in our wildest dreams - never expected Kalee to be with us this long. Thank the Good LORD that we all had a good relationship to start with.

Today, Bill and I went to her school to support her in a one-mile-run around the school track. She made it, and got a neat purple ribbon for the effort. I've got pictures and will post them (hopefully) within the next few days.

Tonight, after homework and supper, Kalee and I went to Ben and Jerry's for some ice cream, while Bill took a nap on the couch.

Dad's wife growing up? .......... Hum, can I think on that one for awhile? And, not only HER, but all the REST of 'em, too!!!!!

So, here we are ...

Keepin' on Keepin' On ............

~ Janie ~

Hi Janie-I am so glad the judge seems to at least have a brain.Is her Dad's wife starting to grow up or something-maybe getting a message. Are they all still required to go to councilling?I don't blame you for not wanting to teach the parents. Enjoy your weekend. Gypsy

never mind.
I musta posted the same time as you.........

May the frog have mercy on my soul.
Power to the puppets and peace to all people.

Two more months!

The judge said the parents had "progressed" in their dealings with one another, but - in his opinion - it was a pseudo-relationship with one another and he felt Kalee, if placed with one or the other, would not flourish as she appears to be doing now.

Needless to say, both parents were highly TICKED OFF when they called me, and I actually talked both of them "down" before I let Kalee talk with them. Even though she was disappointed, I didn't feel she needed to be another part of their anger towards one another.

When the DSS caseworker called, she said the judge had actually asked her if Bill and I would agree to be be a part of providing COUNSEL to both sets of parents so they would know how to handle her!!!!!

NO! If it was anyone else except my son, with whom I've already had major problems, I'd consider it. But, sorry! I can't do it; I just can't do it. It is up to the PARENTS to get emotionally healthy. It is their responsibility; not ours.

When Kalee was talking with her Dad on the phone, he said something (?) to her and she said, "It's ONLY two more months. The months go by really fast." THAT reaction, from her, surprised me. Sonia, I have gotten quite a few indications from Kalee that it is her Dad she wants to live with, even though she loves her Mother, too. That's why I was surprised.

Oh well, here we go again.

~ Janie ~

Janie,
I would definitely not want to be the judge to decide where Kalee goes next ... if not to you, then you are going to need lots of (((((hugs)))))))))) to get through the separation. Has Kalee given any indication of her preferences for the outcome today?