I lost my companion David on August 8 almost six months ago. There is a lot that I could say to fill you in on his AD, but right now, I'm suffering the loss more than I ever imagined possible. It started when my niece asked me for advice about spending a week in Nassau. David and I lived there for 6 years. And so, I began playing the tourist guide. What I soon realized however, was that sending the information and pictures was bringing back a flood of memories. And now, almost a week later, I am still so upset because everything I see and hear, reminds me of him. Even when I watch the television at the shows we used to watch together, I start to cry. The bottom line, is that there is no one that I can talk to that knows him and that is what is upsetting me so. His children are non existant - there are three children. I feel that because I can't talk to anyone about him, he doesn't exist and all I want is to be held by him one more time. I miss him so desparately. Being a cancer survivor for almost two years is a walk in the park compared to the grief that I feel.

Sandy, grief is real and part of the human emotion. I do not know David BUT if he is anything like me, I know he wouldn't want you to grieve and be sad.

I told my girlfriend if there ever comes a day when I should meet my maker that she should not grieve for me and to go out and have a good time. I even told her to go out and find another mate.

The living should keep on living. There is nothing you can do for me so why expend energy in sorrow over my passing? Yes, remember the good times we shared. Remember the love that sparkled in my eyes when you see me each and every day. Remember my smile that you put on my face when I was feeling sour.

But do not cry or grieve over my death. I am in heaven. No longer suffering. I am with my Lord and Savior. I am your guardian angel.

It made my girlfriend cry BUT I told her I only want to see her happiness.

Glad I could help this time,and that is why this site is so important - people sharing experiences and trying to help each other out.

quote:

Originally posted by SandyF:
Sandy, I told Mae (look down below me....that adorable lady) what my friend pointed out to me the other day and she told me to thank my friend for telling me this. So from Mae, "thank you Sandy" and from me, thank you in spades.

Sandy, I told Mae (look down below me....that adorable lady) what my friend pointed out to me the other day and she told me to thank my friend for telling me this. So from Mae, "thank you Sandy" and from me, thank you in spades.

Sandy 99, many times that one good day is all we can ask for.Set backs are not uncommon.When this happens so many things come to pay that cause this.My mother has been gone for 3 years and I still have those moments.I go with my feelings and then I feel a little better.Good for your good day

I really thought that I had been making great strides in the grieving process. Little did I know that it could still throw me for a loop. I am feeling better now, although very drained. I did have something good happen today that is directly related to David, so once, again I feel that he's picked me up - and that's a great thing One day at a time. Thanks for your posts.

Sandy 99, welcome.You have come to a place where so many have lost loved ones.They can share their experiences and acknowledge your loss.To all of us it is far more greater then we could have ever thought.You stated you are a cancer survivor.You may need to apply that seem determination to the grief process.'If you need to speak of your loved one, this is a good place.Each of us has memories we are free to share.
You have to know what your loved one would want you to do.How hard would they fight for life if given the chance.
From my experience we have times when we need to cry.To allow those feelings to flow free.In time, you will be able to hold onto his memory but know you have to live a life he wished he could have enjoyed.WE ALL OWE THOSE WE LOSS THE DETERMINATION TO GO FORWARD.NOT EASY BUT DOABLE.

Sandy I am so sorry for your loss and I know how you feel only my loss was my mom I am one of 3 children that she had (one has since passed) and at the time (about 6 months) is when I felt the loss the greatest as my brothers werent interested in the grieving but the money, it was an awful time... all I wanted to do was sit there and talk about her to the very people who were suppose to be closest to her and that just wasnt the case...there really was no one left to talk to so I had to mourn this loss on my own It took everything I had within me...my spirit, my teachings, and sheer will along with a pity party all by myself to get rid of all that crying that seemed to pop up at the most inconvenient times, and telling myself "Thats ENOUGH" she wouldnt have wanted me to keep doing this to myself she is in a better place she is pain free and shes watching over me and will always be there when I need her....
There is no easy solution Sandy but what you are going to have to do is think, would he want you suffering like you are or celebrating him. You were bestowed a precious gift Sandy, you will always have his love and admiration, no one can ever take that from you

Sandy99, We haven't met here but even though the care giving job that brought me here is going well, I have had some experience with good byes. Not to a chosen life partner, however. Still, there must be some warmth to feel when some one coming along want's benefit of your life lived, even with the tears it brings as you remember that life. To know that your times spent can be of use to some one, even if capriciously, is a validation. It was real, and it was yours. Your loss is real, your life is real.
With my deepest respects, Bobcat.

Please find a grief counseling group. I don't think 8 mos is all that long to grieve, we all have to go thru it and at our own rate. You are not alone, so find a group that understands. Take care of yourself.