Moving on after Mom's death is going okay but feels very strange. I know with time, I will strike a balance, but for now, emotions tend to wobble a lot... Sometimes the mornings suck; other days, the mornings are wonderful and things tend to fester as the day drags on... Every day has its "down" times and there are some actual joyous moments when I forget everything but just my own internal state - including how grey my hair is and the speed limit! Gotta use that cruise control as my leadfoot seems to have returned...

When you remember how to unfold the damned things, how bout showing me how its done! Girl, I can come here so low, and you crack me up!

quote:

I am now thinking that there is another set of "wings" referred to here. Our own. The ones that have been so cramped for so long (willingly or not, a sacrifice of love or one of circumstance) as to have atrophied from disuse.

Yeah... like I'm trying to remember how to unfold the damned things!!!

Hugs, MB. I am now thinking that there is another set of "wings" referred to here. Our own. The ones that have been so cramped for so long (willingly or not, a sacrifice of love or one of circumstance) as to have atrophied from disuse. Easy does it sounds like the right action.

"After the Caring"? Who Cares?!!

I hadda chuckle when I noticed the title for this board... The most difficult task I face each day is summoning up a good, solid give-a-crap about much of anything. After "caring" so much for so long, my "carer" is dormant! I think this is just part of switching gears - the old time has ended and the new time isn't here just yet and so the time in between feels mighty drifty.

I feel myself coming back to life slowly but surely. I am less uncomfortable in public and social situations than I felt at first. I'm thinking more about returning to work - just getting some job, any job to get myself back in the swing of things... I still have some events to hurdle - Mom's memorial service is coming up next month and that's gonna be a bittersweet deal - so I will probably wait until after that to "get real."

My feelings are slowly thawing... I find myself missing her more than I did at first. It catches me by surprise sometimes... I'll be feeling adrift, confused and stressed and I will reach for the phone to give Mom a call to see what she knows good... whoops!! That call cannot be completed as dialed... I don't feel as sad and quiet as I did - am beginning to smile some these days.

So I think the "lost" feeling is subsiding... now I'm just "adrift." Sooner or later, the wind's bound to pick up some and a fresh breeze will fill my sails again. Some days, I think I see a little fluttering like the breeze is coming soon...

You doing ok MB? Just checking in on you hon.

quote:

Originally posted by bnot:
Girl, that almost sounded easy. Till you got to the photo bucket part! Then I thought for someone as low tech as me, it must have been greek. I tried to look at the collections, but it gave me an error....

I'll just have to stick to the emicons on the board.

OK. See to post an image to a forum, it has to "live" somewhere on the internet so it can have a URL (web address). Now some folks have websites, so they can upload their images to their site, etc. But most folks don't have a website, so they use an image hosting site like Photobucket (or Flicker or any of a BUNCH of image hosting sites) to upload their photos so that they have an addy (URL) that can be pasted into emails or forum posts. It's easy to get a photobucket account - just register for the "free" version.

Don't get all discouraged - it's really very easy - just new. This computer image sharing stuff isn't as tough as it sounds... honest! Give it a try on a day when you feel invincible!!

I fixed the link to the ECO collection that gave you the error and it works now.

Girl, that almost sounded easy. Till you got to the photo bucket part! Then I thought for someone as low tech as me, it must have been greek. I tried to look at the collections, but it gave me an error....

I'll just have to stick to the emicons on the board.

quote:

Originally posted by bnot:
Mom's buddy, you come up with the cutest little things that move in your posts...

And I know they aren't attached to the top of the board, lol....I have tried, and none of our smileys move like yours!!!

You are SOOO right, bnot!! I have a MASSIVE collection of smilies, emoticons, gif images and other silly and foolish doodads! Here's a link to a place where we started posting some from our collections.
http://eldercare.infopop.cc/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/5636078151/m/7681013313

To "snag" them to YOUR computer, right click on the image, choose to "save picture as" (Internet Explorer) or "save image as" (Firefox, Mozilla). A dialog box opens. Select a folder or location on your hard drive where you'd like to save them. Click "save".

Then, you can upload them to a Photobucket (or other internet image sharing site) account (free) and simply copy the Image Code for forums beneath each picture to your post. EASY PEASY!!

Now some folks find emoticons annoying, but they DO help to "dress up" the typing and I swear - sometimes they express a feeling better than a whole PAGE full of words!!!

Like... have you ever felt like THIS...

... uh huh - thought so! How about this...

Bet THAT one is familiar to LOTS of caregivers and so is this...


I have even felt like this on some days...


But there I go again...


Mostly, if I had my druthers, I'd rather be doing THIS any day of the week...


Now you too can snag and use emoticons like a big dawg!!

This message has been edited. Last edited by: Moms_Buddy,

Mom's buddy, you come up with the cutest little things that move in your posts...

And I know they aren't attached to the top of the board, lol....I have tried, and none of our smileys move like yours!!!

Dochka, that is beautiful!!!!!!

"And as the days pass and the sun’s brilliance shines down on you and your heart is suddenly embraced by peace and love perhaps the soft breeze on your cheek is not the wind at all but a kiss from the fluttering wings of a beautiful angel." author unknown

Grab 'em while they're hot, folks!!
And here's a BIG 'un for of y'all...

And more hugs MB, to you and everyone!!!!

Yay!!! Mo' hugs!!! Gotta love it!!

((((((((Mom's Buddy))))))) Just wanted to give you a hug hon.

I'm sure Christmas was a tough one on you girl. Thinking about you here.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Moms_Buddy:


Having had a whole month to reflect on the last 8 years, there is one thing that has become clear to me. In the process of caregiving, we have to distance ourselves emotionally from our loved ones. Turning off emotions is an on/off switch. Turning them back on so that we may go on and actually FEEL our lives and relationships is a WHOLE 'nother task! When the switch goes back on, ALL the feelings stuffed over the years come to life - depending on how much & how long one has stuffed, this can feel like a very unwelcome intrusion!

QUOTE]
First off MB here's a big hug for you. You have put into words what happened to me when mom died. Mom was diagnosed 7 months after Doug died but I knew before the diagnosis and realised I had to watch her. It took me till I moved to be able to turn back on the emotion button and all those feelings from Doug's death to my mom came flooding in. Talk about drowning in grief. Work helped and I now see I had to go through all of that to be able to come though on the other side. I still grieve for them and miss them, especially with Christmas in a few days. Hang in there. You were a fantastic daughter and I know your mom is smiling on you right now.

There is a new angel singing this season - and you know her name!
Celebrate love and life, and let peace and joy fill your heart and home.

MB, more big hugs to you!

(((Hugs))) MB. Love you, BC