Why does it hit me so hard after I go to bed? Any one else have this happen?

Hits me like a ton of bricks right after I crawl in bed.

Tears in my ears...that's what I get at night. I lie there and start to cry. The tears come out the corners of my eyes and slide down the side of my face into my ears. I think to myself, hmmm, my tears feel a little cool.

One of the things my brother and I wrote at the end of our eulogy about our father was that we asked people to think about Dad when their thoughts start to calm at night. The quietness of night can just bring a surge of emotions.

After the tears in my ears, I sometimes turn on my TV and set it to go off in 45 min or an hour and either turn on an old movie or go to a music station. Most of the time I eventually go to sleep.

Yes, it's the normal part of grieving but dang, it hurts so much sometimes.

Be kind to yourself and just let it happen and try not to be afraid of the emotions. You will feel better some day.

Robin

Awe, Bren, I ramble so at night, There is Daddy, my Brother Rick, my niece Christa. I think about what if I had known then what I know now, why it has to be so hard to learn about important things, set aside the junk...and there is still Mom, 'when', 'if', 'when'....

yep, the quiet times of night are just not so quiet at all. Strange. I live in a very rural area and am used to it. But people move here and think it will be quiet in the country. They have never heard the racket that can be made by crickets, cicadas, katydids, tree frogs, and mocking birds. Not racket to me, but terrorizes them.

This is different, though. Don't suck it up, please. you have been 'listening' for a long time. I don't know how long it takes, but after a while you can sleep between thoughts, and sleep time is a little longer. You 'listen' less.

Oh man yes and its simply because we are finally *quiet* in our heads ie not full up with stuff we have to take care of or go shopping wash clothes clean the bathroom/kitchen/bedroom/make the bed/clean up after the furry critters etc etc etc...
the daily grind shuts down, the brain keeps goin...and goin and goin.
It was the only time I could mourn my own mom because my self righteous greedy biggoted nasty piehole brothers wouldnt allow me to feel anything normal...*woops this is about you sorry baby*
Thank the stars above you can release this hun.
Im not saying Im glad your feeling pain Im saying its a good thing to be able to release this its a normal part of the grieving process.
(((BIG HUGS)))

quote:

Any one else have this happen?

Yes!!!!Which sort of explains why I stay up till 2 or 3 am most nights. If I go to bed earlier I think of all sorts of things-often not good. I usually turn the radio on with the timer to go off in half an hour or so and depending on the time sometimes read for a few min-something simple like the Readers Digest. Nothing too long or serious. I used to read in bed all the time years ago. I still haven't got back to reading books. Today it is 5 months-oops yesterday I guess. Brenda I think nights are worse because we aren't busy doing anything else and our brain is free to think what it wants. Goodnight