My father was put in a nursing home in May after I cared for him for 2 years. It was hard and still is as he is not in an alzeheimers ward, he is on the mental illness floor. He has had no stimulation and now just pretty much babbles. SAD...When he was home he was functioning pretty much, now well it is a shame to see him this way. I really never thought about AFTER the caregiving. I was too busy fighting the now, with POA's and greedy people and so on.
Now....I look back and think why on earth did I get so freaked out? The house that I fought for to keep in the family, Sold in 2 days, and I was given a 30 day get out. No one helped move me, or offered, no one even cared where or IF me and the kids had a place to go! I spent so much time and energy caring for my father, and trying to do what he wanted for my kids. But sadly he was put in a nursing home by his medical POA, (*which I knew he would be, and he did too*).
Life does go on as they say, I still have the kids to worry about and yet I am almost relieved! There is no more fighting, no more fear, no more anger it is wonderful to feel the old me coming back! The people that my father chose to give power to, they all got what was coming to them and for that I am very happy. I now have a cute little house with my kids and my boyfriend, I have the beautiful things that my mother had collected all my life and each day I get to see them. I can visit my father feel bad most times, but let him know that I love him and did the best that anyone could. The biggest difference is I can now walk forward without being worried 1/2 to death all the time about my father and his care. At first it felt selfish!! Now I am learning that it isn't, it is what my dad would have wanted me to do.
So I guess I just wanted to let everyone know that when you do take the time to be a caregiver and you do the best you can...well there are rewards in the end. You can go forward and you can get back the life of a non-caregiver...If your anything like me well I get panic stricken over the littlest things, so at first I was terrified of trying to find a place to live, how was I going to pay for it since my job was caring for my dad and so on. But thankfully I had a plan, followed through with it, and things are working out very well.

Snoozzyq!

Congratulations for figuring out how to go on with life, I'm impressed!
Remember that your father might well have been where he is mentally even if you were still caring for him. They just decline and no matter how hard we try to think of ways to help them retain their former abilities, they don't. It's horrible but is always true in the long run. And how long is a "long run"? Just carry on.
Sandi

snoozyq, thank you for leeting us know things are getting better.When we have experienced so much it gives us a different view of life.Much happiness to you and your family.

HI hon!!! Thanks for the support, I have always been very thankful to you for your help.
Andy, he is fine, getting big now...I haven't seen him much in the last several months, but now that the dust is settling I will get to see him more. I miss that boy!!!

Snooz, I am so happy for you that things are smoothing out. They sure as heck didn't get there by themselves, however! You have worked so hard runnin' on faith to make these changes come to pass in your life. Some was thrust upon you, but you just made your adjustments and stuck to your goals. I am so proud of you and so happy not only for you, but for your kids too!!!

Now - how's ANDY?